Well, the "A" drama lives on...we talked a little the other day, but I'm still sick (I'll gripe about that in a sec) and had to go sleep. So...we "bothered" to be decent to each other for those 5 short minutes >sigh< Life goes on....
I'M NOT DEAD!!! (I HEARD THAT!) I'm not sure if thats a good thing seeing as how my immune system is TOTALLY shot, and I had a fever for like 3 days. It wasnt like 500 degrees, but it was (at one point) 103.2...but DUDE...I wasnt throwing up, passing out, or anything nifty I could tell my friends. I was just.....cold. And then on fire. (spontaneous combustion woulda been cool)- but no...just a cough, sneezing, and a headache. It was more a brain ache..but still..NOTHING NIFTY.
But EVERYONE I'm close with called me....it was sooooo cool! YAY! People love me, either that or they were thinking I would tell them I was dying and they could have my stuff....GRRR
So, I'm just kickin back..having my sickness as an excuse to be a bum..YAY..arent *I* special...
But anywho..thats about all I'm doing...Jerm (I MISS YOU!) my buddy from down south went to China till the 19th. He always has these BEYOND adorable pet names for me, and I cant talk to him to get a lift for a lil while...and Andy, the Seth Green imposter, amuses me with his wit and charm =) >sigh<
Anywho...I'm off to be a nerd =)
This should be a pretty quick entry...I've fallen ill.....AGAIN to something winter threw at me (its nice to share and everything...but I DIDNT want your illness)-
So anyways, I went shopping yesterday and spent like $50.00 on stuff for a scrapbook. Maybe that makes me pathetic...but it was for my niece...shes WAY worth it =)
But I had fun w/Janice and she even took me out to dinner =)
And the weirdest part....my chick friends and I ALWAYS check out guys in cars...and yesterday...some weird guy started blowing kisses to me...interesting.
I dunno...I thought it was amusing-
So anywho, I'm just writing to write cause I'm REALLY bored...>cough cough< Its been raining here again...ALLLLL KINDS! Its crazy...
-See ya laters-
Wow...this weekend totally kicked ass, I saw like 500 people I dont normally talk to, hung out with new and old people (okay, so they were the normal 'group') and >sigh< had fun.
Besides my trauma with "A" (who wrote me and basically cut off all ties until I told him I wouldint beg for a friendship, and I told him I was moving on...argh) it was a WONDERFUL weekend. NO drama, NO arguments with anyone...and everyone got along, got what they wanted, and everyones STILL talking. Didnt think I could do that with ya Katie (j/k)
Anyways, with "A" I fought against myself and ended up writing him, apologizing for what I said, but not apologizing for how I felt. We'll see how it all goes...
Okay....so that guy Jesse came up here, it was really cool....we talked till the sun came up (well almost...it was light out) and he even let me attempt to drive his car at 4 am....what a sweetie =)
But Saturday part of the SS gang hung out at my house, where I eventually kicked everyone out and then more people came over after that. >sigh< I'm so damn popular (hahahaha)
But I am trying to make a decision as to if I want to be single, or have a relationship with a really close friend of mine. (He decided to tell me all of this as Jesse called me to let me know he was in town so I havint really gotten a chance to talk to him about everything, nor have I thought much about it cause I've been exhausted) But I'm not sure, neither of us want to lose a friendship, and thats exactly whats happening with "A"...
Anywho...gotta run...I'm a lil busy trying to catch up on e-mails and people online~
Whoa cowboy-today was not kosher in my book of dreams. Or anyone else's for that matter.
But heres the deal, I talked to "A", and he decided to tell me a bunch of stuff....that he SHOULD have told me in Dec when he was home but neglected to realize I guess until today. When my shitty week was starting to get better, but still sucked. But anyways, I told him something I shouldint have which was along the lines of "I dont have a boyfriend so I'll do whatever (and whoever) I want" and "Right now I dont think I want to talk to you, want to care about you, or want to even know you." Which was preceded with a message telling me the user has gone offline. GREAT. So I'm guessing hes WAY mad at me. And it seems like I was being a bitch, but I could have gone off on my whole little guilt trip feel sorry for me gig. I didnt. And I'm not even adding vital info in here. So judge this as you will. Just dont bitch ME out, cause I'm not trying to justify my words, but its how I felt. And still kinda feel. But this has to be the first time in 8 years I've been mad at him, and I'm not even mad, I'm....bugged. Because this SHOULD have come out 3 months ago.
Oh well-life goes on-
Jesse's supposed to come up here but I dont think I'll be hangin w/the 'group' for personal and emotional reasons......
~!Laters!~
WOW! Its been a WHOLE month since writing in here....I know you all hate me, cause I know that you come here EVERYDAY to see what I'm doing. HAHA...okay, so you guys didnt notice...thats alright. But I have A LOT to write about!!! YAY!
Okay...I know this color doesnt go with the rest of the page but OH WELL...its MY page, I'll do whatever I damn well please okay? Okay...
Well...I'm NOT throwing up anymore, well, if I were...I would be REALLY sick...but I'm not, well, that I know of..so YAY, Robyies alllll better =) (Look-JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME OKAY?!?!)
I did get a really bad something or another, I went to SS (theres a BUNCH of pictures here of the "hangout") and as it was pouring down rain I decided I would be a complete idiot and stand in it. Yup, you guessed it...woke up the next day with a 102 fever. Wooo hooo, I'm a moron.
So this winter has treated me as its neglected child, not protecting me from illness...whats next? Hopefully nothing but the groundhog saw its shadow so another month and a half of dying for me...yay!
Anyways, whats been going on you ask...well...besides dying (yup, didnt you hear?) I've been dealing with A LOT lately. Friends, school, family, relationships, my car dying, being sick, being sicker, being sick again, (okay I'll stop) theres just a whole big fat mess of drama in my life.
So..."A", well, hes one subject I could go on and on and on about, but I wont, hes just...there. And I'm here. We arent "together" unless you count the endless conversations we have. But >sigh< life goes on. So, hes alive, hes 'mine' for forever as he so kindly put it, and I'm sitting here thinking about him. How sad and pathetic am I? And as Ryan would put it "Lonely and desperate just looking for someone" PFFFFTTTT Ryan!!!!! We wont even talk about YOUR love life now WILL WE?!?!
Other guys in my life...well, theres this one. He (of course!) doesnt live here...well, theres two of them. But hes cool, and we're F-R-I-E-N-D-S (THATS IT PEOPLE!). Hes kinda interesting, although he needs a reality check when it comes to certain things (and people) but we wont talk about that. So hes supposed to come and visit me and Katie an we're all gonna hang out..what to do what to do. This town lacks social activities. Unless you wanna go get drunk...but nah, cause bad thoughts and bad ideas come to mind.....Hey Jaded? No comment®-
So theres one thing, and another...hmm, friends. I dont REALLY wanna go there, but perhaps I should. I've been dealing with my own 'issues' and the drama doesnt help. If I've addressed you in the past few days, you know who you are...dont bitch at me about it if I havint...I DONT wanna hear it.
Family, okay...my mom and I are normally thisclose with a little bit of room to breathe and thats about it. But for the past week its mostly like we're this close. Dont ask me what I did cause if you do, I'm gonna scream...Jen, Stacy, Jesse, Katie, and hmm..EVERYONE else I know asked what I did...thanks guys. Its ALL *MY* fault?!?! (Kidding). But I wrote her a letter and explained what was going on in my insignificant mind and she came in and talked to me. It was really awesome...>sigh< I love my mommy!!!!!!
My Dad's also talking about coming to visit me...YAY! And told me I was "Talking out of my ass" when I said I was going to move out. Hmmm....maybe I was, but perhaps I wasnt. I did find a cute ass apartment tho...now if I can get roommates =).
School-I think that issue speaks for itself-
MY CAR!!!!!! Okay...it bluebooks for like $1,170. Can we say PATHETIC? If not...I just did. Tell me how much THAT sucks. But then I was talking to a guy friend of mine and he said his went for $300. Okay, I feel a little better now.
But I did find a cute lil civic for under 5,000. YAY...."Hey Daddy?"
Relationships-falls in the catagory of "A". friends, and family.
But things have a tendancy of working themselves out. SOOOO..hopefully this one will too.
Okay, so I goto the doctor yesterday and he gives me my "girlie exam" and what not...well, I grew an inch and a quarter. YUP, I'm now a whopping 5*7 1/4. ARENT YOU PROUD?!?! And I havint been eating so I think that contributes to my pants not fitting, (ESPECIALLY THE PLEATHER!!!!!!!!) but I'm not complaining! I think its a good thing. As long as I'm not passing out or anything >wink wink<.
Oh yeah!!! And tonight, TA (babe I LOVE YOU!) came over with Janet (you look indianish with your hair down) and "oso" so "oso" could say buh bye to me. (Not that I see him often or anything) but I felt alll super duper special that they thought of me as Janet drove her new car around...GRRRRRRRRR much. I'm happy for her...but argh =) So >sigh< Oso smells good >shakes head< DONT THINK OF THAT! And I got to see my buddies I adore...>kisses<
OH YEA!!!! Scott, my ex, has a new girlfriend. WHY?!?! Okay...so I'm 99.9 % over him, but shouldint *I* be the one on the rebound NOT him? Ewww....>rolls eyes<- So what if its been 6 months, the heart needs to heal people...mine just has a little bit of that thorn in there. So..in honor of his new skank, errr, girlfriend, I will erase his page...*>poof<*
Okay...enough of my bitching sob story, there are a few people I wanted to say hi to just cause I luv em oh so much...
MARK! Happy B-day...didja Mardi Gras? Prince says hi =Þ Jerome, I am your g/f even if you dont wanna admit it! NO PERSONAL ADS! Joe...sweets, I'm SOOOO sorry..you left and I waited and you didnt come back..we'll talk another time I SWEAR!
And to all the others I know and love, blah =)
Well, if I wasnt already feelin weird in this world I have the stomach flu. Thats why its been 8 days since writing. Yea, tragic isnt it? You all missed me SOOO much didnt ya? Admit it..come on, just admit it.
Okay, to update ya a lil bit, I dyed my hair a nifty tint of reddish blonde. Yea some of my friends hate me now but I havint gone anywhere for them to see it..oh well =)
Got into a few arguments...lifes just that way, and I've been worried sick about a good friend of mine. I wont go into details but hes dealing with some "bull poop" (if he saw that...he would know its him..haha)
Anyways, this flu has totally killed me...it all happened Thursday, I was kickin back and bam...tummy cramps...thought it was just that time of the month and then my body started doing these weird things...and gave me a nice lil fever to go along with throwin up...AWWWW HOW SWEET!!!!!!!!! SO I'm stuck at home all weekend with no where to go, sick. It sucks.
I've been talkin to "A"'s friend in NC..hes so cute...sigh..hes cool..and "A"'s 16 y/o ex ALYSSA is a total bitch who needs to fall off the face of the earth. She was talkin bout me (bad) but the way I see it...is if I'm so horrible..WHY DO I HAVE HER MAN???
Anyways, thats just my quick update so I'll talk to ya'll later...nighty night for now!
Whoa..today was just...weird!
I said bye to "A", hes leaving at like 5am today, and I went to the coffee shop and hung out. Then this guy starts cussing and freaking out and gets out of his car (some other guy made a U-turn illegally) and 15 or so of us see this shiny thing. I thought it was a knife, and then I asked my friend what it was and I thought he said gun. All of the coffee shop ran for cover and then we heard it was a screwdriver. FIGURES! But it was soooooo scary and I freaked out! My heart was pounding and I felt like I was gonna throw up. It was so bad!
Anyways. I got a real journal today =))) My other one was filled up =) So I'm trying to get all my buddies to sign the front pages. Its purty, it has like a square in the middle with roses =) I love writing =)
Okay...that was my drama of the night, and I'm still alive!!!! Yea!!!
Today was GREAT! I cant get over it. I woke up and the phone rang, I picked it up, and no one was there. Pressed *69 and it gave me that recording "The call you recieved is out of the area, please hang up and dial directly." It could have been two people...Monte (my best friend I havint talked to in forever) or "A". I called both and "A" said he didnt call but I read his mind cause he was just about to call me. We talked and....I GOT MY GUY!!!!
I'm sooo happy...he said "It's worth a try" and I ended up making him cry (I hope he NEVER reads this) cause I asked if he just never wanted to talk again. If he actually cried, I dont know...but yea!!! I care about him sooo much. He also told me he bought me something..hmm...he still owes me flowers from my 16th b-day TWO YEARS ago!!! =)
Anywho...about Mike. My friend tried to call him from Southside and got the answering machine, he called back and bitched me out saying he couldint have calls there, blah blah. DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE??? Nah, didnt think so. My friend wants to hurt him...shes plotting evil things. But oh well =)
Well, that was my day...I shall go now for I have school tomorow at 1:30-2:30pm. I'm lucky I know!!!
If life WASINT hard enough...and I didnt already hate guys I have a new reason. This guy...Mike. Yea, I'll say his name cause hes a total asshole. Is sooo trying to play my friend. Hes all up on her and then she leaves and he tries with me. WTH? Another thing...hes 24. Egh!
Anyways, I think my buddy and I are gonna have a lil "chat" with him.
SO..."A" is leaving in 6 days to goto Kosovo >cry, cry< I still need to talk to him. I'm trying to decide on if I should wait for him or not. >scream< He got ALL jealous when I told him about this guy trying to talk to me (NOT Mike) and told me I shouldint forget him after I asked if we shouldint talk until he gets back from Kosovo. Hmmm...who knows.
Anywho, I'm going for now..SS was fun last night...except for the FREEZING my ass off and trying to get Mike away! GRRRRROWL!
Well, today was interesting. Actually yesterday but whos looking right? I talked to "A" and things might just be alright between us. We kinda did the whole honesty thing without really meaning to. I dont know...its hard to explain. But I found out hes coming back the same day I leave to goto NYC...maybe if theres a commitment now I wont go...who knows.
I watched Frequency tonight...>cry< what a great movie. I figured I wouldint like it but that was such a good movie! Highly recomended!
I also talked to my mom tonight...she predicts I'll be married and have a baby by 22. >shriek< scary! ME? A MOM?!?! Yea I know...my friends are laughing right now going "WHAT???"
I'm also trying to decide on what I want to do with my life. I'm leaning toward internet, cosmotology, something involving signing autographs perhaps, or being an EMT. What do you think? Hmmm...I have a bunch of options tho...just dont think I'd be very good living away from home. But I'm sure my parents would be happy if I went to college with the struggle school has been for me. So I might be able to get them to help me out financially. <thinking> o O (WHY am I telling you this?)
Anyways, this was supposed to be a glitch of my day and its turned into my life goals >bangs head on keyboard<
So basically, maybe I'll get my guy and live happily ever after. And if not...hes still my bestest and favoritest Army boy =)
This should be a somewhat short entry. "A" and I are 'talking' whatever that means, and his close friend "S" says its a good sign from what our convos have been. "A" was hinting towards marriage questions. They were all hypothetical but still. So we'll see about that. He's still my ghetto fiance cause he hasint given me a ring!!! (LONG STORY!)
I also talked to Scott...that didnt make me feel any better. We were civalized to each other but it was still a downer. It sounds like hes 'talking' to someone as well. Its stupid and everything but its a slap in the face still. All of those emotions are just stirred up again ya know? Oh well...I've been doing really well as far as that one goes. I've changed A LOT since our relationship.
Well, I think thats all for now...Oh..it was kinda cool..A BUNCH of ppl came over to my house last night >sigh< I feel loved!!!! >blush< (Don't ask!)
Bye for now!!!
P.S. I'll have a lot of pics comin my way soon! Look out for em!
Well, its been a few days. And there isnt much to write about. I've been sick witha killer flu or cold or disease those aliens brought on the first. Okay...maybe I'm still feeling the side effects of that cough syrup but here goes my adventures:
I saw "A" again...we hung out...what a great adventure...well, sorta. His girliefriend came around the night before he left and they broke up...guess that makes him fair game. Lemme tell you what happened.
I went over and brought him a gift for Christmas. He put it on (it was a necklace) and his 16y/o came over also. I left with A's friend to the coffee shop and hung out there. Meanwhile...A took the 16 y/o home and broke it off...good boy =)
When we came back he was there with my friend "S" and "J"...who are now together...congrats yall!
We all just hung out...blah blah, and then a few more people came over. I wanted to leave and besides...I had to get a friend home. After "A" beggin me to come back I told him I would after everyone left and if not then I would just talk to him when he went back to the service.
He called and I went back over...hung out...and stayed there until 5:30am when he left. What a bitter-sweet memory...I gave him a hug and told him to take care of himself. >sigh< >cry, cry<
Anyways, I ended up writing him this LOOOONNNGGG letter about my feelings and he replied. I still dont know if things will work out between us but I care a lot about him...and he claims to feel the same.
Now...New Years...(HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE). I'm sick...I got to stay home and watch the ball drop. It sucks too...I had my outfit picked out and EVERYTHING! I didnt exactly have plans...and thats probably why I didnt go out...but still. Oh well, the outfits still cute and everyone loves it =).
Another tramatic thing that happened was my friend and I got into a HUGE argument online. Things are alright now...but it resutled in a few name calling instances..oh well! Life goes on!!!
I know that this entry was boring but oh well...sue me! I'll write more when I feel better...I promise!
Well, well, well, tonight was VERY interesting. The guy that I've been talking to for a while came over with another friend I havint seen in forever. But let me get to that later.
Last night I went out with the friend stated above to a canyon and we talked...it was awesome. But stupid me...all I could think about was how much I'll be missing him when he goes out of the country, and how badly I wanted to kiss him...
He has some 16 yr old (who sounds WAY immature) trying to get with him. I'm his 'closest girl friend' and he cant even tell her we hung out. Besides the fact he ditched her for me....but whats up with that? I say he ditch her for good!
Alright...back to tonight. He had to get rid of Ms. 16 and then "A", "S", and "S"'s friend "B" came over. After "S" and "B" left (both are ADORABLE!) "A" and I cuddled for awhile. If you know me at all you know that my ex and I were cuddle buddies before we ever hooked up. Well...."A" is the original cuddle buddy...we used to spend the night together and just talk and hold each other. It was so great...there was nothing physical about it. But...tonight we did the same thing. Its incredible how hes always complimenting me on things no one else has before. Like my hair...how soft it was...and he even held it against his face while I had my head on his chest so he could run his fingers through it and feel it.( >sigh<) After a few hours of contemplating I told him to close his eyes and take a deep breath. I DONT KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME! Yea...I kissed him. After knowing him for 7 years and being good friends for 3 I couldint help it anymore I guess. Well, after our 'kiss' which was short but sweet I said I didnt want him to be mad..blah blah, and >gasp< he said, "I always wanted to know how soft your lips really were." >sigh<. What to do, what to do?
Anyhow, I dont know whats going to happen because of this 16 y.o. but after he comes back from Kosovo maybe things can work out. Who knows. All I know is I have his keys and I'll be seeing him again =0)
Well, to day WAS going alright. And then stupid me called an ex of mine and we got 'into' it. No details, but he pissed me off stating I was the one who decided what HE was doing for New years. HAHA...he agreed to it. Just shows how much guys listen.
Anyways, other then that I actually woke up feeling decent. Sure, I'm tired now but oh well...at least I dont feel like I'll pass out whenever I smoke a cigerette or stand up. Lifes great. And then you talk to the jerks who ruined it for you in the first place. I just decided I wont be calling him to let him know about my 'milestones'. Like when I get my surgery, or leave town. Buh bye to him!
ALRIGHT, I sound bitter...maybe I am. But that was my exciting event of the day. Now its time to watch some TV and wait for the beloved antics of 4 wanna-be teenagers who speak way too many 'big' words for their 17 yr old lives on Dawson's Creek. Okay...so I'm a sap for the 'love' stories. AT LEAST I ADMIT IT!
Well, this is my first entry. You might know a little about me but I'll tell you some stuff you either know or don't. Well, I've lived in Calif all of my life, no kids, no boyfriend. Just my family. And today is my Nana's birthday (she passed away a year ago Dec. 3). I'm only 17 my birthday is on August 6, and that would make me a Leo =) . But I have a habit of saying 'like' a lot. My bad =). My friends call me Rob, Robyie, or whatever comes to mind. I'm a fairly happy person, and this will let ya see whats really going on in my life. Check back often cause you never know!
Anyhow, things are alright...better then they have been in the past. I've been hangin out with 'friends' a lot. If you could even call em that. (Long story). Theres a lot of drama between me and a few guys I know, yea...thats life. Who needs em anyways right? But other then that I'm jsut waiting to visit my dad, get knee surgery, and then go to NYC!!!! My dream vacation!!!!
~January~
~February~
~March~
~April~
~May~
~June~
~July~
~August~
~September~
~October~
~November~
~December~