SOUNDS
Welcome to the sounds database! This is where you will find all of my quotes and songs from the comedy classic, Billy Madison. Feel free to download, listen, and whatever you'd like. Enjoy!
victorysong.mp3
The whole song after Billy is beaten by Veronica in the pool. Billy: Yes, I will go back to school, and achieve victory! No man can take....
farley-armada.wavBilly: Spanish Armada.....um....1588.
Bus Driver: That is correct!
veronica-armada.wav
Veronica: Spanish Armada.
Billy: Uh, fourteen....sixty....six! 67. 1469. 1514. 1981. 1986. Please do not do that. Come on, I swear, just hang in there one second, please, God, give me the answer!
asimplewrong.wav
Billy: OK, a simple 'wrong' would've done just fine, but.....
bigtrouble.wav
Billy: Now you're all in big, big trouble.
callzoo.wav
Billy: Call the zoo!
comewithtent.wav
Billy: Uh, those are, uh....they come with the tent.
dontsay.wav
Billy: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it!
pregnant.wav
Billy: Eric is pregnant! Congratulations, Tippy, oh...you feel those kicks? He's gonna be a soccer playah. He is! He iiiiiisss!
everybodyonbus.wav
Bus Driver: Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful! NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!
everyonedumber.wav
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
donkeybeer.wav
Frank: Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Billy: Maybe later.
Frank: I'll go put some beer in a bucket.
date.wav
Billy: We gonna go on a date! You, me, Jack, and Frank, are gonna go around puttin' shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire!
badbadman.wav
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Bus Driver: That is correct!
veronica-armada.wav
Veronica: Spanish Armada.
Billy: Uh, fourteen....sixty....six! 67. 1469. 1514. 1981. 1986. Please do not do that. Come on, I swear, just hang in there one second, please, God, give me the answer!
asimplewrong.wav
Billy: OK, a simple 'wrong' would've done just fine, but.....
bigtrouble.wav
Billy: Now you're all in big, big trouble.
callzoo.wav
Billy: Call the zoo!
comewithtent.wav
Billy: Uh, those are, uh....they come with the tent.
dontsay.wav
Billy: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it!
pregnant.wav
Billy: Eric is pregnant! Congratulations, Tippy, oh...you feel those kicks? He's gonna be a soccer playah. He is! He iiiiiisss!
everybodyonbus.wav
Bus Driver: Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful! NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!
everyonedumber.wav
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
donkeybeer.wav
Frank: Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Billy: Maybe later.
Frank: I'll go put some beer in a bucket.
date.wav
Billy: We gonna go on a date! You, me, Jack, and Frank, are gonna go around puttin' shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire!
badbadman.wav
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: OK, a simple 'wrong' would've done just fine, but.....
bigtrouble.wav
Billy: Now you're all in big, big trouble.
callzoo.wav
Billy: Call the zoo!
comewithtent.wav
Billy: Uh, those are, uh....they come with the tent.
dontsay.wav
Billy: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it!
pregnant.wav
Billy: Eric is pregnant! Congratulations, Tippy, oh...you feel those kicks? He's gonna be a soccer playah. He is! He iiiiiisss!
everybodyonbus.wav
Bus Driver: Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful! NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!
everyonedumber.wav
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
donkeybeer.wav
Frank: Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Billy: Maybe later.
Frank: I'll go put some beer in a bucket.
date.wav
Billy: We gonna go on a date! You, me, Jack, and Frank, are gonna go around puttin' shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire!
badbadman.wav
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: Call the zoo!
comewithtent.wav
Billy: Uh, those are, uh....they come with the tent.
dontsay.wav
Billy: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it!
pregnant.wav
Billy: Eric is pregnant! Congratulations, Tippy, oh...you feel those kicks? He's gonna be a soccer playah. He is! He iiiiiisss!
everybodyonbus.wav
Bus Driver: Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful! NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!
everyonedumber.wav
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
donkeybeer.wav
Frank: Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Billy: Maybe later.
Frank: I'll go put some beer in a bucket.
date.wav
Billy: We gonna go on a date! You, me, Jack, and Frank, are gonna go around puttin' shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire!
badbadman.wav
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it!
pregnant.wav
Billy: Eric is pregnant! Congratulations, Tippy, oh...you feel those kicks? He's gonna be a soccer playah. He is! He iiiiiisss!
everybodyonbus.wav
Bus Driver: Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful! NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!
everyonedumber.wav
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
donkeybeer.wav
Frank: Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Billy: Maybe later.
Frank: I'll go put some beer in a bucket.
date.wav
Billy: We gonna go on a date! You, me, Jack, and Frank, are gonna go around puttin' shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire!
badbadman.wav
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Bus Driver: Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful! NO YELLING ON THE BUS!!
everyonedumber.wav
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
donkeybeer.wav
Frank: Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Billy: Maybe later.
Frank: I'll go put some beer in a bucket.
date.wav
Billy: We gonna go on a date! You, me, Jack, and Frank, are gonna go around puttin' shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire!
badbadman.wav
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Frank: Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?
Billy: Maybe later.
Frank: I'll go put some beer in a bucket.
date.wav
Billy: We gonna go on a date! You, me, Jack, and Frank, are gonna go around puttin' shit on people's doorsteps, and we gonna sets it on fire!
badbadman.wav
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: He is a bad, bad, man!
billyshere.wav
Billy: Hello? Billy's here!
whatsup.wav
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: Hey, Carl, what's up?
idiot.wav
Billy: I don't know. I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes, but, I am an idiot so it kinda works out.
letsgo.wav
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: So, let's go!
denial.wav
High School Friend: Are you in loser denial, or something?
Other HS Friend: I had a bad case of loser denial myself, until the lacrosse team shoved a parking cone up my ass.
mevsyou.wav
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: Me vs. you!
milesdavis.wav
Old Lady: If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!
Billy: Oh, that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go!
onepiece.wav
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ACE! I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean!
Billy: No, you don't.
Bus Driver: Well, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her GOT IT ON! WHOOOOOOOEEE!
Billy: No, they didn't.
Bus Driver: No, no they didn't. But, you can imagine what it would be like if they did, right?
outtahere.wav
Billy: Peace, I'm outta here!
ratherbone.wav
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Frank: Who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?
Billy: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?
Frank: '74.
Billy: Meg Ryan.
sasquatch.wav
Old Lady: I'll tell you who took those lunches. It was that damned Sasquatch!
sloppyjoes.wav
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Lunch Lady: Ha, ha, ha! Have some more shloppy joes! Ha, ha, ha! I made 'em extra shloppy fer yas! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like em shloppy!
psycho.wav
Billy: Take it easy, psycho! You blew it, you lose!
Eric: I outta just blow you away, you miserable...
Billy: Well, go ahead and do it! {Hammer clicks} YIKES!!
thanklippy.wav
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: Thank you very much, Miss Lippy!
horny.wav
Veronica: You think he's horny? Come here!
throwup.wav
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: All right, stop it before I throw up.
triscuitcrackers.wav
Carl: I had some Triscuit crackers in the car. You should have had some.
Eric: Well, maybe if you would have told me that they were delicious Triscuit crackers, I could have enjoyed them with you.
Carl: I'm sorry.
Eric: Well, sorry doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach, does it, Carl?
weirdo.wav
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: What a weirdo!
snackpack.wav
Billy: Where's my snack pack?
Juanita: You've got a banana, you don't need no snack pack!
Billy: You know I like snack packs, so why can't you just GIMME A SNACK PACK?
Juanita: I thought I was your snack pack.
Billy: What are you talkin' about?
Juanita: Nothin'!
sosmart.wav
Billy: You're so smart!
dodgeball.wav
Miss Lippy: I think it's time to play dodgeball.
Back to Scott's Billy Madison World
Billy: You're so smart!