*~like sisters~*
everyone thought we were sisters
even though we looked nothing alike
even that first day we met
in front of my house
underneath the jacaranda tree
with its sticky purple blossoms that stuck between our toes
she was sweaty
her face streaked with dirt
wearing torn jeans
holding a muddy football
i was wearing one of my "sewn-by-mom" dresses
scared of the world
tucking my straight hair behind my ears
again and again
later she would tell me that she had heard about me
from the neighborhood kids
heard that i never came out of the house
heard i was scared of my own shadow
kate was never afraid of anything
our family heritage was similar
her hapless father who seemed to win at nothing
but loss
the night he took the whole bottle of pills
only said goodbye to her
my father who was gone for good
only to be replace by a string of
useless men
my mom would drag home
we always planned to run off to england together
to have a band
to really live
to always be together

i remember the first night we got drunk
together
she could drink vodka straight from the bottle
she clutched it tight between her fingers
washed a bag of cheetos down with it
i preferred my nacho dorritos
the night she learned to drive a stick-shift car
i was too gone to drive
the stories of lost innocence
stolen kisses
nights we wouldn't tell anyone about
except each other
now i'm thirty
she's twenty-six
we never moved to england
she had a drum-set for awhile
but she sold them
when she got married
i still sing
but mainly just to myself
she still has the look of fearlessness
even though so much of her
has been broken
and i've befriended my shadow
and sometimes we dance
to 'dancing queen'

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