Love in Section is an almost an impossibility, a flower which blooms for a brief hour. For it to survive love must become a blooming night flower unseen by bright light of day. Do not flaunt it for that is the way to lose it. Keep it hidden like a treasured jewel for Section will steal it and use it against you. And what you once treasured you may come to abhor for it will be seen as weakness. From Adrian's Journal

Immediately after his reinstatement, Michael went to reclaim his office. As rapidly as they moved him out, they moved him back in. Michael stood in the midst of the personnel that were in the process of restoring him to his former position. His office, his inner sanctum was his once more.

He reclaimed his position but at what cost? No more going home together with Nikita and knowing the bliss of a night without nightmares that awaken him in the night. In his mind he knew that he would never give up on Nikita but were they only to have a series of temporary oasis while they lived this shell of a life.

"Out." Michael ordered to the person who had begun to unpack his belongings. "I can take of this myself. Thank you."

He paid no more heed to the person as she stepped out of the room. His mind propelled forward to finishing the task at hand. Putting things back in order and resigning himself to more loneliness and internal restraint.

Economy of movement and words was Michael's style. He did not give more than he had to at anytime, except in the case of Nikita. Even then he was still the picture of restraint. He began putting numerous items back in their proper place when he found a black leather bound journal at the bottom of the plastic box.

He wondered where it came from because it certainly wasn't his. A little prayer went up that this wasn't another way to make him learn his lesson. It could be Nikita's this would be Madeline's style to torture him. Or worse Elena's about Adam, she kept one so she would not forget a detail and could tell Michael all that he had missed while he was on supposed business trips.

Gently opening the book to see if he could glean from the first page whose it was and return it. Michael did not wish to intrude upon the private thoughts of another for that was all one had left in Section.

He could see it was a feminine hand that had been the scribe of this particular journal but it was not a recognizable hand.

I take the final steps that will lead me to the point of no return. My humanity is taking a backseat all that guides me is logic and cold calculation. My job is too make sure everything runs smoothly and that no one may interfere with the balance of power that is established. Those who dare to presume that they can take control must be taught a lesson.

The case in point involves Madeline and Paul. Paul is quite temperamental and needs to be taught control. He allows his emotions to cloud his judgement especially when it involves Madeline.

I warned Madeline that an involvement with a member of the Section family is ill advised. Yet Madeline being who she is thought that she could escape detection. Did she really think that I would not detect the subtle shifts in her demeanor, her happiness was apparent to one who observed her closely. The haunted look in her eyes had diminished somewhat.

Yet it was Paul who betrayed them both. Madeline was assigned to the mission as a Valentine op. She has always understood the strength of a woman's sexuality and had no qualms using it. Paul on the other hand found the situation impossible to deal with. He was short tempered and intolerable in those two weeks of the mission. When it came time to capture the target Paul attacked him viciously with no justifiable reason in sight. It does not take a great amount of skill to determine that it was because the man had slept with Madeline.

Michael closed the book in shock. His face betrayed nothing but his mind was working a mile a minute. This had to be Adrian's journal. The question now was what to do and who had put it there.

He decided it was best to read the journal in the privacy of his abode, away from the prying eyes of Section. Perhaps he could learn something from Adrian that would aid in his situation with Nikita.

At his home he sat down in one of the few pieces of furniture he possessed and settled down to continue to read Adrian's journal.

Madeline found the situation highly amusing and just added it to her arsenal of weapons to manipulate Paul. She was not above using him if it was required. Although truth be told she loves him, even if she doesn't admit it to herself. Since I had warned Madeline she should have seen that a lesson would be coming posthaste as a result of Paul's actions.

I could not afford to cancel them. They were needed for the future. Their superior skills could be seen and the future promise of what they could achieve was evident to George and me. Yet we could not have them be liabilities to each other. They needed to lose some more of the humanity that remained in them to be able to actually love someone that deeply. A scalpel was needed to excise that tumor of weakness for love is the greatest. A touch of cynicism to that love was needed. When I was finished they would never look at each other the same way again.

As punishment George and I decided to send Paul away for an extended tour of the different subsections and Sections in order to prepare him for the future. Meanwhile I allowed certain rumors to reach Madeline that Paul had taken on a lover, Elaine, at Section 3. I had prepped Elaine with all the requisite answers that she should give Madeline based upon the surveillance of her and Paul.

I even had Elaine come for a visit and watched the confrontation take place from above. Madeline held herself in check as usual. Yet for weeks the spark seemed to have vanished from her. She did her work but she gained no pleasure. Madeline enjoys determining people's weaknesses and it showed.

Based upon Madeline's psychological profile she would not show Paul that his infidelities had bothered her but she would grow cold towards him. Madeline would not even discuss it with him as to not give him the pleasure of seeing her as weak. She would never completely trust him again. She would also inflict some psychological pain on him as soon as it was convenient for her.

It was time for Paul to return and take his rightful place in Section One. Paul completely oblivious to what machinations had taken place during his absence expected a warm reception upon his return. It was shock to him to see Madeline be so frosty to him.

When he attempted to see her outside of Section he found that she had company, another man was already warming her bed. After that night, Paul became a different man, it seems that all the betrayals he had suffered from loving a woman had taken a toll. He became quite the ruthless man as a result. I only hope that I do not regret this in the future.

Yet it could still be seen that in spite of their rage they still cared for each other. Yet they were not as willing to put their needs or Section's aside for the other's sake. Paul concentrated his focus on his ambitions to rise through the ranks in Section. His star was truly ascendant.

Michael closed the book. He would not allow this maneuver of Madeline's to change his feelings for Nikita. Being with Nikita lightened the load of his soul. In her eyes he became a clean person. She bathed his soul and made it new. That is why when she looked disappointed in him it pained him so.

Yet there were things that Section demanded that Nikita had yet to understand. He wondered did she realize what she had done through her actions. Putting him back in power where he would have to make decisions that would probably cause her pain. All this in order to do his job as best he could.

Yet what Adrian said in her journal rang through his head. They could not afford to kill Madeline and Operations because they could see the future promise in them. The same had to be said of Nikita and himself. There were several times when Nikita should have been cancelled but had not been. Madeline and Operations needed them for something. He knew he was being groomed as Operations replacement but what about Nikita? That question remained unanswered; it was hard to see Nikita as clinically detached as Madeline.

At that moment that did not matter. What mattered was reaffirming his commitment to Nikita. He got up to go and pay a visit to Nikita with the intent of telling her it was all far from over. That no matter the obstacles they would be together someday.

He would not allow their relationship to deteriorate to the point where Madeline and Operations were. Siamese twins that could not admit the love that held them together. Their love was fragmented and in shards, their loyalty to each other is what kept them together. Their pride kept them apart and lack of communication.

The old Michael would not be going to tell Nikita that he had not given up on their love. He would hope that she could figure it out from his actions. Now the newly illuminated Michael was on his way out the door to communicate his desire. Michael always learned from other people's mistakes.

Before he left he placed the diary in a safe place for future readings.

The End

This story © Tasamin(Rita), 1999