USA TODAY: The studio publicists thought maybe this was a silly idea, but it's the least I can do to mark the occasion (Three Musketeer bars are handed out).
Depardieu: What is that? Is new?
Malkovich: I'll give it to my kids.
Depardieu (checking the wrapper): Two-sixty calories.
USA: John arrived from Anguilla. Where did you all fly in from?
Depardieu: In Germany, doing the movie Asterix and Obelix. The comic strip. I am Obelix.
Byrne: I came from L.A. But I'm not working on anything. As Leo said, uh, time off.
Irons: I was in England. It's supposed to be time off, but I have two other movies coming out (Lolita and Chinese Box), so there's an awful lot of promotion. I get very confused.
USA: In Mask, which takes place in France, you all have different accents.
Irons (slyly): Ah. You noticed that.
Depardieu: It's like the legionnaires, you know? An army. Was there any discussion that it may be a problem?
Malkovich: Maybe there should of been, but it's too late for that.
Byrne: I do remember one sarcastic remark. Not by me. By one actor who came to the set. "Very strange. French, American, English, Irish. Terribly strange." You do forget about it after a while.
Irons: I was thinking about this last night. The Musketeers are actually just us. There's no real acting in what we are doing. Well (turning to Byrne), you were being a little bit more honorable as D'Artagnan than you are as a man.
Byrne: But only a little bit.
USA: What was the draw of doing this?
Irons: I think Randall Wallace, the director and screenwriter, was very clever. The Four Musketeers are support characters. But they've all got their own line, they're all very different. They all have their moments.
USA: Was this a fun set?
Byrne: It was.
Irons: A very naughty set.
USA: Did you give this poor novice director a hard time?
Byrne (laughing): I don't think he's going to be so poor, not from what I
hear. Do you remember the first day we were doing that big scene in the water?
There must have been 250, 300 people on the set. was this incredible air of
tension. And everyone was waiting for Randall to say, "Action." And he was so
traumatized, he forgot to say "Action." And the assistant director said, "I
think they're waiting for you to say, "Action."
Irons: He started out, and you can see what he's doing is photographing his words. He didn't have a visual sense. He just grew into it.
Byrne: He did grow into it.
Irons: Very, very quickly. He's a very straight guy, and that straightness is what he puts into this movie. The fact it doesn't have a kind of nudge-nudge, wink-wink feel about it. It's just about loyality, about honor, about truth and ideals. And I think that's very refreshing. There's no apology. Of course, you never gave him a hard time.
Malkovich: I had a lot of sympathy for him. I think once or twice I probably gave him a hard time.
USA: No practical jokes?
Malkovich: Leo's the practical joker. He does great impression of us all. He's very funny. His Randall...
Byrne: He has it down now to almost an abstract...
Malkovich: It;s like conceptual art. USA: This is a movie with lots of fake hair. Did it take a lot of time?
Byrne: John, in the true theatrical sense, did all his own stuff. He would come in the morning and put on his own wig and do all his own stuff. I've never seen that before in a film.
Gerard: It was tres bien.
Malkovich: You know f---ing Russell (Smith), the guy who produced this?
Irons: Yes, f---ing Russell...
Malkovich: When I was doing a not very good film that he produced years ago called Queens Logic, they fired the hairdresser. And without even checking with me, let alone without paying me or like giving me a union card, he made do with Linda Fiorentino's wig.
USA: You did all your own stunts? Someone leapt on a horse?
Byrne: That would have been Jeremy.
John: He's a great rider.
Gerard: I am scared of the horse.
Jeremy: He does very well on camels. I rode a camel for a day in India at Christmas. It was a girl. Just a wonderful camel.
Malkovich: But aren't they incredibly mean?
Irons: She was fine. Except for the end of the day. I wanted her to get down so I could get on. She wouldn't. She opened her mouth, and I looked in. And I wanted to take a photograph to in my son's basin. It was revolting. Sort of yellow and green.
USA: Did you use a body double for your butt scene, Gerard?
Depardieu: No body double. I did so many nude scenes, you know. When you give it all there is, no big deal.
Byrne: He said he did it because Michael Douglas did it.
Irons: He has great buns.
Depardieu: I like Porthos because he is like a child. He is very simple. He must do what he feels.
USA: And your fart noise wasn't dubbed in later?
Depardieu: I fart all the time. When I was young, my nickname was the farter. I always have a little gas. (Demonstrates - verbally.)
USA: And you got to be in the him, Jeremy?
Irons: Oh, it was wonderful. I used to live for the retakes. USA: What is Leo like to work with? Depardieu: He was really great. It can be dangerous to be treated like a pop star. But he never lost his childhood. He has a big, wonderful family.
Byrne: And a big circle of friends.
Depardieu: I'm very happy for him because I found him very, very smart and very talented. And honest.
Depardieu: Which is why he is so talented. He has great honesty. No bulls ---, a very open guy.
USA: Was he intimidated by all of you?
Malkovich: You'd say if he were in sports, the kid can play.
Irons: The first week, any feelings he might of had like that we tried to scotch. You only have to see our behavior to know that we are probably less mature than he is.
Byrne: He was very nervous though. I remember the day we were all getting a photograph taken, which was the first day we all got dressed up in the gear. We two were the last to go up. He said, "Tell me. Do I look like an idiot in this costume?" I said, "No, you don't look like an idiot. Why do you ask?" He said, "Because you look like a blooming idiot."
USA: Are you comfortable that this is being precieved as a Leonardo film?
Byrne: I think initionally that some people expressed reservations that there would be a lot of ego stuff going around. But it was remarkable. The egos were left at the door. I don't recall any incident of any bitchery or jealousy or anything like that.
USA: There were reports of girls chasing Leo around Paris.
Byrne (smiling): I think it was the other way around.
Malkovich: In all fairness both.
USA: Who is most likely to have read the book Man in the Iron Mask?
Malkovich: I'd say all of us.
Depardieu: I haven't read. I read a lot of Dumas books but not that.
Irons: I started reading it when we were shooting because I thought it would help, but it's so different than the movie.
USA: Who is most likely to wear Aramis cologne (named after the character Irons plays)?
Depardieu: What is cologne? (They translate.) Oh, non, non.
Byrne: I would never wear an aftershave.
Irons: In the past I used to wear something.
Malkovich: I don't wear any.
Byrne: I would think of you as an Old Spice man. I believe in natural odors. They say that's what women are really attracted to.
USA: Who was most likely to be late to the set? Malkovich (as all look at Depardieu): He would be late, but not for what you think... Usually he's on the phone.
Depardieu: I was early on the set.
Irons: There are shots in the movie where he'd have a sword in one hand and a phone in the other.
USA: One last question. What's best to wear under period costumes, boxers, briefs or nothing?
Depardieu: Underwear? (they translate.) Nothing. Oui.
USA: You wear none?
Depardieu: Period free.
USA: Um, I'll be thinking about that next time I see one of your films.
Copyright 1998, USA TODAY, a division of
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