For Better or For Worse
“Anya...Anya...”
His pleas were met with silence.
“We have to talk.”
He heard her sniffle but nothing more.
“You don’t understand...” He paused, sorting his thoughts. There was no use for
that. His head would not comprehend his heart. “I should have told you but
I really didn’t know it was...”
He hated talking to a door, and her silence struck him more than screams. “Things like this don’t disappear. Life isn’t perfect.”
“What are you trying to get at?” her voice was calm and even, but he realized there
was an edge as she pronounced ‘you.’
Everything came out in a rush of emotion. “I have misgivings about my status. Not
when I’m with you, but among everyone else, among your aristocrats. I know this sounds
silly. Don’t laugh. We have grown up in two separate worlds and I’m trying to fit in but I
don’t even know what to do. I always catch myself watching the moves I make and the...
I know in my heart...I’m not below them, am I?”
“I don’t understand.”
“I never expected you to change me like this. I always expected it to go the other
way around, but...I don’t want these formal engagements, I don’t want to play the noble
gentlemen, I don’t want to curry anyone’s favor. We don’t need elegance
because that’s not what love is about. It’s simple. Love is simple.”
“Please, tell me what happened.” Her voice was soft. His words were beautiful but she did not know what he meant by them.
“The wedding seemed so fake. Like we were putting on a show for everyone. Like I was
trying to prove myself to them. I didn’t want to mess up. I wanted to show them I was
above it all.”
He sighed, “At first, I was just nervous. Or at least, I thought so, and I went outside to clear my head. But...I wasn't just afraid that I would
embarrass myself, embarrass you, in front of so many people, so many rich and influential
people. It was superficial. The entire thing. I didn't even know the people in that building. I've never seen them in my life and sharing my vows with these strangers was... It was perfect the first
time. Well, it was rather silly too, but it was just you and me and nothing else mattered.
Nothing.”
“But nothing else has ever mattered except me and you. We've gone pass this. We have our love. We don't need anything else.”
“Then why did we do this? Why did you insist on this wedding? Did you even know the people on that guest list? And the flowers from Holland! The specialty cooks! The doves! Why this extravagance? It isn't you.”
"I thought this was the life you wanted," she smattered.
"Why?"
There was silence. She always thought he wanted riches and more riches. She had underminded him by giving him what she thought he had wanted. But it had been a illusion that he had carried for too long and when he gave it up for the truth, she was still holding onto it. He wanted what was in front of him. He wanted to create his own dreams instead of following it.
“It would have been a charade if you married me today.”
"I'm already married to you and I couldn't be more satisfied. I just don't want to pretend for anyone else...That wasn't why I wasn't there."
"Oh?"
He really didn't want to admit it but there was naught he could do. "I got lost in the woods," he said sheepishly.
Her giggles were muffled by the door but he could hear them.
He paused and contemplated. He knew he would but he wasn’t sure what the
consequences would be. She should know anyway. “You know I would stand at
that altar and I’ll pretend...for you.”
“But you’ll have to change for me,” she replied in awe.
“Yes.” Anya was struck by the affectiveness of that simple word. “I’m willing to
do that.”
“I don’t want you to.”
He smiled and tears glistened in his deep eyes. The door opened and Dimitri fell
through the opening into his wife’s arms.
“You know, I didn’t even know a quarter of the people on that guest list.”
“All the better.”
“Let’s go back to reality.”
“I want to grow old with you.” He kissed his wife’s forehead and walked down
the stairs before she reacted. A slow smile spread across her face.
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