More of the Incredible Experiment
By Squeaky
The prospects enter as Penny calls them. Penny and the prospect sit on the couch at the L&S set.
~*~ Pikachu~*~
Penny: "I don’t think selling all your magazines is gonna get you any money. There isn’t much demand of old copies of Stuffed Cats and Things."
Pikachu: Pika! Pika pikacu!
Penny: I didn’t get it. Let’s try it again. "I don’t think selling all your magazines is gonna get you any money. There isn’t much demand of old copies of Stuffed Cats and Things."
Pikachu: Pikachu!
Penny: See? That’s why Part 2 of "Laverne and Shirley and Pikachu" was never written. Next!
~*~ Tom Green~*~
Penny: "I don’t think selling all your magazines is gonna get you any money. There isn’t much demand of old copies of Stuffed Cats and Things."
Tom Green: You know Penny, it’s too hot in here. Is it okay if I take off my shirt.
Penny: Okay fine, fine but hurry up.
(Tom takes off his shirt)
Tom Green: My pits are sweaty. (His rises his arm and starts poking on his arm pits.) Sweaty. Sweaaaaty. Sweaaaaaty.
Penny: Oh stop that! You’re making me nuaseous!
Tom Green: You wanna smell my arm pits. They’re smelly....smeeeeeelly.
(He leans closer to Penny.)
Penny: (pushing him away) Get away from me!
Tom Green: Penny Marshall doesn’t want to be my friend! (at the top of his lungs) I JUST WANTED TO BE NICE! I’M SO STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!
Penny: Yes you are! Next!
~*~Madonna~*~
Penny: "I don’t know about you, but I’m beat!" Go ahead.
Madonna: "Oh, yeah, yeah."
Penny: Um...Madonna you gotta improvise; you gotta give me something. Let’s try again. "I don’t know about you, but I’m beat!"
Madonna: (thinks for a moment) Um... Okay. "So am I"
Penny: That’s uh... a little better. Come on think bottle capping. It’s exhausting; standing there all day. Come on. "I don’t know about you, but I’m beat!"
Madonna (mutters) Bottle capping... bottle capping... (out loud) My feet hurt... (giddy) oh I want to go to bed!"
(Penny pretended it was good, but Madonna just couldn’t act)
Penny: Let’s try another one. Let’s see---"
Madonna: Before we continue, could you bring me a pillow? This couch is too uncomfortable. And tell someone to bring me some Iced Tea. Three cubes of ice. I see more or less than that and I will just be abitch all afternoon. And could somebody move that light over there? It’s making me blind. Can’t the crew do anything right? Oh and fire everyone from the make-up department. I expiclitly said NO golden tones form me today. Ughh. This set is so ugly. You should have someone redecorate it. And one thing I wanted to tell you. Who does your hair??? Laverne should be a redhead."
Penny: Next!
~*~Dr. Evil~*~
Penny: "I don’t know about you, but I’m beat! Ain’t ya tired?"
Dr. Evil has Mr. Bigglesworth on his lap and caresses him.
Dr. Evil: "Are you tired Mr. Bigglesworth? You are? When Mr. Bigglesworth gets tired I get tired. So yeah... basically."
Penny: "Don’t you want Boo Boo Kitty better?"
Dr. Evil: "Ah, yes Boo Boo Kitty. I have some beautiful memories of that kitty. He was with me when I bougth that "laser" I was going to use to blow up the earth. That was a pretty "laser". (pause) "I remember when I bought Boo Boo Kitty. It cost me 25 cents on the black market. My father was angry I spent my money on that piece of "shit" as he called it. He locked me inside a wooden box for two weeks. I had to eat Boo Boo’s bow... thread by thread so it would last longer. I was afraid of being suffocated in there. My father kept putting a bottle of beer on the air hole. I guess he didn’t see it."
Penny: "Where is Boo Boo Kitty?"
Dr. Evil: "I accidentally threw him in some hot magma." (He wiped a ttear off his cheek.)
Penny: Dr. Evil you are hired!
Dr. Evil (his pinky rested on his lower lip): When do I start?
Suddenly Scott Evil entered the set.
Scott: Here you are! Just what do you think you are doing?
Dr. Evil: I am auditioning for Laverne and Shirley. I like the show and I want to be in it
Scott: No you don’t. You just want to be friends Penny so you get closer to Gary Marshall and then kidnap him.
Penny: What???
Dr. Evil: It’s a good plan really. Once I get my hands on him, Happy Days and Laverne and Shirley will be MINE all MINE! Little by little I’ll take over everyshow on TV and it won’t be long ‘til I rule the airwaves!!! Bwaaahaaahaaa!!!
Penny: I changed my mind: you don’t have the part.
Dr. Evil: Wha--- but I was good... I---
Penny: Next!
Dr. Evil started walking off the set followed by Scott.
Scott: Where are you going?
Dr. Evil: I’m leaving. She says I didn’t get the part. I guess I wasn’t right, you know. Maybe if I had put on a wig or something... Riiiiight...
Scott: So maybe I blew up your plan... I mean... it sucked anyway, but come on, moron, you are in the studio! Kidnap her! Or kill her or—do something!
Dr. Evil: How about ‘no’ Scott!
Scott: You suck!!!
Shirley Feeney still can’t be replaced. The search continues...
THE END
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