Sadly, Doug appears older and more decrepit than Don Larson, sixty-something former New York Yankee wildman / alcoholic / World Series perfect-game pitcher. We were at this show to get Mr. Larson's autograph. Mr. Larson, not exactly the picture of health, was overheard telling Graig Nettles -- seated next to him -- that "he [Doug] doesn't look too good."

One of my college housemates, I spent more time driving Doug to the emergency room for various respiratory system ailments than I did studying for finals.

Clearly, Dooger's poor health is a source of great amusement and many side-splitting anecdotes. I'll never forget the time we were watching Steve Bucemi's Living in Oblivion in a packed Manhattan art-house theater. Doug had one of his infamous coughing fits and had to leave the theater. After the coughing fit subsided, he returned to sit in the back row. We knew he was okay though (well, at least still breathing), because we could hear his constant coughing which drove many film-goers to loudly complain about his tuberculosis-like hacking. Hilarious!

However, Doug vows to outlive us all. His oath is that he will survive in a Captain Pike-like state until we all shuffle off our mortal coils. His dream is to piss on our graves. Good luck, Dooger!

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