I
believe.

      Which is getting rare these days. But I can empathize with anyone who doesn't. I've been there. More than once. I've rejected everything I was taught, only to come back, brush it off, kiss it tenderly, and pick it up again.

      I'm still in the process of "questioning everything". But I love the Bible. I really do. Have you ever read Ecclesiates? If you haven't read it, I bet you'd be surprised by it. It's not the kind of thing people expect to find in the Bible. It's been really nice to have that to fall back on when I get cluttered, clogged, and confused (erf, alliteration, sorry) by all the rigidity that I grew up with. Not that I have a problem with things being strict, but sometimes it confuses me. Ecclesisates is very real. It admits that everything seems hopeless, and that offers me hope. Figure that one out. I've always been that way.

      I also love Jesus. Yup. The J-word. That guy was/is cool. He hung out with whores and tax collectors because they were completely unacceptable to the "religious" people. He ate dinner with them and became their friend, and tried to teach them how to be happy and free. It's so cool to be angry in this world that we've forgotten how wonderful it is to be free. That includes me. I was surfing a bunch of angry sites today and I was jealous. I was jealous because other people's homepages are more interesting than mine. Why? Because they're more clever than I am and because they're angry.

      But I'm free and happy, and lovin' it.

      So how does a person become free? (WARNING: You are now entering the Opinion Zone. Proceed forward and you will hear exactly what I believe, theologically and spiritually speaking. You have been warned.)

      1. By having a clear conscience

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Luke 23 One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: "Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!"
But the other criminal rebuked him. "Don't you fear God," he said, "since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."
Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom."
Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

      What's the point? Good question. Going through live with guilt sucks. Period. The only way to get around going through life without guilt is to build up a calloused heart/conscience. And callouses ruin life. Calloused people are unhappy. They don't notice the beauty anymore. They get angry. They hurt, but they pretend not to. They don't stop and watch as the sunrises because they're too busy trying to justify themselves in their mind - or trying to pretend they don't hurt anymore.

      I don't wanna live like that.

      So, fine, I want to live with myself. We could go into deep theological philosophical thinking at this point and muse over what causes guilt, etc, etc, but my page has a long way to go and it won't change a thing. We all feel guilt, we all want to not feel guilt. How do we get rid of it?

      We could be perfect. Have you ever tried that? Me, too. If you wanna call that trying.

      Or we could be forgiven. Being forgiven by people is wonderful, but sometimes it doesn't come. Sometimes they're dead. Sometimes they have no desire to forgive you. Should you be chained by their anger? I don't believe so. Sometimes their forgiveness isn't even enough.

      God's then. Is that such a ludicrous idea to you? All you have to do is ask. He's not asking you for penance, for money, or for promises you can't keep. He simply wants to be asked for forgiveness for betraying him, yourself, and the people around you.

      2. By freeing yourself from unhealthy compulsions, addictions, and habits.

      3. By having a source to draw energy from.

      4. By not being afraid.