Disclaimer: See previous chapters

Acknowledgments: I would like to thank my magnificent and ever so dedicated Beta Reader, Robyn. You’re a life saver. Hugs and Kisses.

As Mallory made her way to the White House, she tried her best to remain calm. She had decided to take a cab, not really trusting her driving abilities right now. Her hands were unsteady and a chill had found residence in her spine. Nervousness and fear had claimed her body and her mind wasn’t far behind. Her father hadn’t given her many details regarding the situation, but the combination of him telling her that Sam hadn’t returned from his outing and the sadness in his voice was all she had to know to make her call a cab and head directly for the White House. Her father gave her the impression by his tone of voice that he didn’t think that was a good idea, but she didn’t care. She wanted to be there, where she knew she could get exact information and mainly because she didn’t want to be alone. She needed her father’s presence, his reassurance. She tried to convince herself that everything was going to be okay, but her father’s voice, filled with concern and fear, echoed in her head.

As she made her way down the hall to her father’s office, her muscles tensed, her body preparing itself for the blow she was probably about to receive. She entered the office and stopped after a few steps, taking in the sight in front of her.

Josh and Donna were sitting side by side on the sofa while her father sat on the coffee table in front of them. 3 pairs of eyes turned in her direction. Her father’s were loving, yet filled with concern. Donna’s resembled Leo’s, but sadness was also apparent. When she made visual contact with Josh, she almost cried out. She had never seen Josh look so defeated, so lost. His eyes displayed his emotional state like an open book. The redness and puffiness were also evidence that he had been crying. ‘That could only mean one thing,’ she thought. Mallory instantly brought her hand to her mouth, trying to contain her emotional outpour. Leo, realizing that she was reading the situation based on Josh’s appearance, quickly made his way to her side.

"Honey! No." He turned back and looked at Josh, who also realized what was happening and in response, hid his face in his hands, feeling guilty for making Mallory think the worst.

"Mallory, sweetie," said Leo, trying to divert her attention from Josh. He placed his hand on her chin and turned her head to face him. Her eyes were now a mirror image of Josh’s. "We don’t really know anything yet," Leo said, trying to appease her. "Here. Come with me," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders and directing her out of his office. He realized that Josh’s state had obviously absorbed all her attention and that if he was going to get through to her, she had to get Josh out of her sight. Before exiting the room, Leo turned to Donna.

"I’ll be in the Mural Room. Come and get me if there’s a call." Donna simply nodded. Mallory let her father motion her to the room across the hall from his office. She didn’t know what to say or do, so she just let him guide her. He sat her down on the sofa in the large room. Only a small lamp was lit, its shadows accentuating the colorful walls and the sorrow on Mallory’s face.

"Honey….." Leo said softly, sitting in front of her and taking her hands in his.

"He’s gone, isn’t he?" she asked looking up to her father, her eyes begging him for comfort.

"We don’t know, Mal. We really don’t know. They’re out there looking for him. They’re doing everything they can to find him. The only thing we can do is wait."

"What did they say? What did they tell you?" He wasn’t sure how to tell her, but decided to take the same approached he took with the President. He looked her in the eyes, still holding her hands.

"They don’t know where he is. His emergency beacon hasn’t been activated. He isn’t answering his radio and his cell phone is out of range." Leo sighed heavily before he continued. Mallory noticed his hesitance.

"Dad, I want to know," she pleaded.

"They are assuming that he’s somehow incapacitated and that’s why he isn’t answering the hails or activated his beacon." Leo decided that he wouldn’t tell her what the Coast Guard had compared the search to. She had heard enough as it was. Mallory looked at her father with confusion written all over her face.

"But, if there hasn’t been any word, Josh…." She said, confusion infiltrating her fear.

"Josh just let his emotions get the best of him. He’s the one that got the call about Sam and got in touch with Toby, CJ and me. He’s been through a lot tonight. He’s also convinced that that all this is his fault. Something about him not going with Sam and sleeping in instead, which is totally ridiculous," said Leo, trying to accept the logic behind Josh’s guilt trip. As he was talking, Mallory was processing what he was saying, but she stopped on the words regarding Josh not going with Sam. Then it dawned on her. She was supposed to be with him today. All of a sudden, a traffic jam of ‘what ifs’ started pilling up in her head.

"Oh God!" she softly whispered. Leo looked at her with concern.

"What is it, Baby?" She quickly stood up and started pacing the room, frantically combing her hands through her hair.

"No. No. No," she continued to whisper.

"Mallory, what is it?" asked Leo worriedly. Mallory turned to her father; her eyes were no longer reflecting sadness, but were now the picture of horror and panic.

"Dad, I was supposed to be with him," she told him.

"What do you mean? You were on the field trip."

"I wasn’t supposed to go on that field trip. One of the chaperones got sick and they asked me to fill in at the last minute. They were in a bind, so they asked me. Sam and I talked it over and …..something to do with responsibilities….I said yes…..but I was supposed to be with him. Out on his boat. Oh God, Dad. What if….."

"No, Mallory! No!" Leo said, cutting her off. He quickly stood and ran to her, taking her in his arms. "You are not doing this. I have enough of Josh pulling this guilt thing. It’s not doing anyone any good and it’s not helping Sam. Do you understand me?" he said, taking her face in his hands. She simply looked back at him, her eyes filled with tears. "Do you understand me? Don’t go there! I won’t let you. This is no one’s fault and what is done is done. We just have to wait. And pray. Okay, baby?" he said to her, his voice soft and loving, trying to make his daughter see the light. She nodded. He held her tightly in his arms again.

"Dad?" she asked, now quietly sobbing.

"Yes, honey."

"I think I love him," she said as her sobbing increased. Leo didn’t know what to say. It was hard to tell if it was just the emotional baggage of the situation or her true feelings talking. One way or another, it ripped at Leo’s heart that it took such an event for her to express her feeling about Sam to him. He realized that words would probably not suffice to console her aching heart, so he just held her in his arms, being the shoulder for her to cry on.

****

His throat was raw and dry. Every movement he made to get closer to his goal made him cry out in agony. Every few inches, he had to stop and try to control his breathing, which was now coming in ragged and painful breaths. He tried not to stop for too long, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to start moving again or that he would pass out. He felt like he had been at it for hours, when in fact it had only been a few minutes.

In his head, a three-way duel was playing out. A little voice reminding him over and over again that he didn’t want to die. That he had to stay awake and focus on reaching the emergency beacon. Another little voice was telling him that it wasn’t worth the pain. That he didn’t have the strength and that he should just give up and welcome death.

The third presence was the most domineering and it had a name: Pain. Sam decided to concentrate on that one, not that he could ignore it screaming in his head. If he felt pain, he knew that he was still awake, still alive and therefore still had a chance. With that decision made, he persevered, but then another problem that he didn’t want to have to face occurred to him: how was he going to get down the steps of the cabin if he could hardly drag himself a few feet?

****

CJ felt almost lifeless as she threw her portfolio on her desk and let herself drop in her chair. The words she had just spoken were repeating themselves in her mind like a broken record and she could feel the tension mounting throughout her body. All of a sudden, she shivered as a dreadful feeling enveloped her. It was so abrupt, it actually scared her. At that moment, she decided that she no longer wanted to be alone. She quickly got up and marched out of her office. Unconsciously, she made her way to Toby’s.

As she approached the Communication Director’s office, CJ scanned the bullpen and all the long faces present. Ginger glanced up and acknowledged her with a weak smile. She looked into Toby’s office. He was sitting in his chair, his legs raised, his feet laying on his desk and his hand slowly massaging his eyes. She slowly tapped on his open door.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Sure," he answered, without looking her way. She let herself drop onto his sofa.

"Any news?" she asked, to break the silence, knowing that if there had been any, she would have already found out.

"No," he answered. He sighed heavily. CJ didn’t know what to say to him. Toby was often referred to as being an emotional enigma. She didn’t know how to approach him, to get him to open up to her or if he wanted to open up to anyone. His outburst in Leo’s office had taken everyone by surprise, probably even himself, judging by the look on his face. CJ had to wonder if Toby had suddenly become aware of his true feelings for Sam. It always saddened her that people often realize their true feelings for someone in situations like this. In most cases, the guilt of not having expressed them in the past is the hardest thing to overcome. She prayed that Toby wouldn’t have to live through that experience.

"You did a good job with the press," Toby suddenly said, taking CJ by surprise.

"Thanks," she responded, grasping for anything else to say. "Toby?" Slowly, he took his hand away from his eyes and looked at her. Meeting his gaze, she was now looking into her friend’s bloodshot, watery eyes. His emotional stare pierced into her heart like an arrow. Her throat instantly constricted as an overwhelming tidal wave of feelings overtook her. Neither of them able to say anything, too afraid of what might come out of their mouths, they simply maintained their gaze. A gaze that spoke a million words.

"I know," Toby said softy, saying everything that needed to be said between them. Just being with each other right now was better then any pep talk.

****

Cathy and Bonnie made their way into the bullpen at a panicked pace.

"Ginger, any news?" Cathy asked her as they both approached her desk. Ginger had called her 2 friends just before the briefing to the press was made. She didn’t want them to learn about Sam from the news. Ginger sprang to her feet and ran to her friends, the 3 sharing a comforting embrace.

"No, nothing," she said, shaking her head sadly.

"What exactly happened?" Cathy asked, having only gotten a brief summary of the events from Ginger when she had called. Ginger told the 2 women what she knew and what was going on. As she continued on, grim expressions began etching themselves on Cathy and Bonnie’s faces. The thought of losing someone they work with day in and day out was bad enough, but the fact that person was Sam only made things worse. Having become quite close to their boss’ over the last year, the 3 women couldn’t imagine Toby without Sam. Sam was the ying to Toby’s yang and vice-verse, and after having to endure Toby Ziegler’s grim and sometimes furious attitude, Sam’s gentle and calm presence was always a relief and greatly appreciated.

"Where is everyone?" asked Bonnie while taking her coat off.

"They’re kinda spread out. Toby and CJ are in there," Ginger said, pointing towards the closed door of Toby’s office. "Donna is with Josh in Leo’s office and they told me that Leo’s with Mallory in the Mural Room." They silently thought about the members of the Senior Staff and how hard this must be for them, knowing how close they all were.

"Is there anything we can do?" Cathy asked. Ginger sighed sadly before she answered.

"No. Not really. The phones have been quiet since CJ gave the briefing. All we can do now is wait." The 3 women sat at their respective desks and silently sorted through their emotions, and praying that this night would end with the safe return of their young boss.

****

He seriously thought he would never make it, but what he didn’t realize was that the hardest part was yet to come. Sam had finally made his way across the deck of his ship. He was unaware of how long it took him, but he was pretty sure that he had lost consciousness a few times along the way. He simply couldn’t tell how many times or for how long. He knew that he had to act quickly, for his strength and willpower were almost on empty. Sam lifted his head slightly and peeked into the cabin. His vision was blurry and distorted, but he could make out the radio and emergency beacon about midway through the cabin. His biggest obstacle right now was the steps. He knew it would take all his all he had left, but would it be enough? ‘To be so close and yet so far’, he thought to himself.

Slowly and carefully, he filled his lungs to their capacity, which wasn’t much, and gradually started moving his legs towards the hatch. Still laying on his stomach, he pushed himself backwards, his feet looking for the steps. The pain was screaming in his mind again. The strain was becoming unbearable. He realized that he was crying. The realization that death could actually be a possibility, that the sea that he loved could be his deathbed, made him angry, and he pushed himself to the limit.

He let himself drop to the floor of the cabin after giving one last push.

Painfully, he managed to sit up, his head swimming dangerously close to oblivion, his left arm hanging uselessly on his side, his chest protesting with every breath.

He slowly made his way down the cabin. Lifting his head, he saw the EPIR and on it, the button he had to press. With his last ounce of strength, he pushed himself up and reached up with his good arm. He reached out a little more, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold this position for very long.

Reaching into reserves he didn't even know he had, he let out a loud bellow as he pulled himself forward just that little bit more. He suddenly felt his finger come into contact with the button that might just save his life. He automatically heard the beeping noise indicating that the beacon was engaged and that the signal was being emitted. Upon hearing that noise, his body gave up the fight and he crumbled to the floor.

Sam let the pain overtake him as he passed out. He didn’t want to feel anything for a long time, therefore he was oblivious to the voice over the radio, calling his name, begging him to answer.

****

The President leaned against the doorframe of Leo’s office, quietly looking at the 4 silent people inside. He noticed the defeated look on Mallory’s face. He knew that his Goddaughter had deep feelings for Sam and it hurt him to see her this sad. His gazed then turned to Donna and Josh, who were sitting close to each other on the sofa, holding hands, supporting each other. The President was sure that Donna was doing most of the supporting though. It saddened him to see Josh in such a state. He looked like a devastated little boy. For a moment, he put himself in Josh’s shoes and imagined how he would feel if he was sitting there and Leo was lost in the middle of the sea. The most horrible feeling overcame him and he immediately took Josh’s shoes off. His heart ached at the thought that Josh had been feeling like this for the last few hours and he couldn’t take his shoes off. He shook the thought away and entered the room. Upon noticing the President, Donna, Josh and Leo all stood in their usual manner.

"Mr. President," Leo said, coming out of his daze. The President motioned for them to remain seated.

"Any news?"

"None yet, sir," Leo answered.

"Josh," the President said, staring down at him. Josh slowly raised his head and his sad, red eyes met those of the President. He didn’t have to ask Josh how he was feeling or holding up. The President could read all the fear, sadness, anger and despair through his gaze. He had to do something to stop the hurt. He sighed deeply and turned to Leo.

"Leo, get on the phone with the Coast Guard. I want them to get more helicopters and more cutters out there. I want them to search every square mile of sea off the coast," he practically yelled, his voice heavy with anger and worry. CJ and Toby decided to make their appearance in Leo’s office and were, like everyone else in the room, taken back by the President tone of voice.

"Sir, they know…"

"No, Leo, they don’t know. If they did know, we would have heard from them by now. They would have found Sam, but have they? No. That’s why I want you to get on the phone and tell them to do something about it. Even better, I will get on the phone and order them to find him!" The President’s outburst took everyone by surprise, but they all knew that when he made up his mind on something, there was no way to divert him. Before anyone could reply, the phone on Leo’s desk suddenly rang. Everyone in the room jumped. Leo forced himself to walk practically to his desk and grabbed the phone.

"Leo McGarry." Everyone stared intently at the Chief of Staff, trying to read the expression on his face as a one sided conversation took place.

All of a sudden, Leo’s face lit up and he smiled. A spark of hope spread throughout the room. As suddenly as the light on Leo’s face had appeared, it faded.

"Okay. How long?………As soon as……… okay." Leo hung up the phone and surveyed the group of people in front of him as they silently pleaded for him to say something.

"His emergency beacon activated about 5 minutes ago. They’ve pinpointed his exact location and should be there within 30 minutes," announced Leo. Josh sighed loudly and pulled Donna into his arms, hugging her tightly, his relief abundantly obvious. CJ and Toby did the same. Mallory simply looked up with her eyes closed, whispering a prayer of thanks. The President didn’t take his gaze off his friend, knowing there was more.

"He activated his beacon. That means he’s alive. He’s okay," Josh practically cried, not addressing anyone in particular. He needed to say it out load to believe it.

"What else, Leo?" The President asked. Everyone turned their attention back to Leo.

"Uhhhhmmm. When the beacon activated, they tried hailing him again, but there was no answer and usually the beacons are placed beside the radios. So….." Leo hated having to break that news to them. The grim expressions returned to all their faces as they realized that the next 30 minutes would probably be the longest of their lives.

To be continued….