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I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy
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WHAT: Fourth of July Potluck Dinner
WHERE: Grounds of the Hunkette Temple
WHEN: Duh!
WHO: All y'all
WHAT TO BRING: Sign up on refrigerator
And on the fridge:
Caeryn= chocolate trifle
Aya & Eiluned= sammiches
Jael= Jello mold in shape of a Gungan being strangled
Tasha= yellow shit in ANH
Darry= pitcher of martinis
Emmy=veggie burg--gimme that pen back, Obi....nnnghhh
~*~
"My dear, would you be so kind..." Senator P. twisted in his executive chair and motioned to the door.
Darry raised her eyebrows and stopped her filing. "Why? I know you're electronically transferring money into the Trade Federation's accounts." She returned to her nails.
"Ah. Well, in that case, how about a shoulder massage?" Suggestive smile.
Darry stood up from the corner of the desk she'd been perched on. "No thanks, I feel pretty good today. Went for a swim this morning. Seeya."
"No, I meant for m--" he was cut off by the slamming of his office door. "Oh never mind...now, let's see. Three Trade Federation ships full of weapons and droids to be launched to Naboo from Coruscant disguised as supply ships carrying a shipment of 'FUR-BAL-B-GON' to Kashyyyk. Yes, that should do nicely."
~*~
"You are NOT going to cornrow Qui's hair! I forbid it!" Laure stomped her foot. Shelley ignored her and kept brushing out Qui-Gon's tresses.
"Why not? It might look kinda cool." Shelley countered.
"Because, that's why!" Laure was not backing down.
"Don't you have to babysit or something?" Shelley said angrily.
"No," Laure yelled back. "All the little Padawan's are at soccer camp!"
Qui-Gon looked from girl to girl with a resigned sigh. Summer on Coruscant had a way of bringing out the worst in the Hunkettes. Okay, so there was no way to actually tell it was summer on a planet that had no seasons, but the Terran calendar indicated that it was summer. That explained why many of the Hunkettes had taken to wearing skimpier clothing. Except for Panth, who was attempting to hibernate.
Last summer too, it seemed like the Hunkettes couldn't get enough of the Jedi. This summer it seemed as though the Jedi were becoming part of the furniture. Worn and comfortable furniture, but furniture just the same.
"I say yes!" Shelley pulled a handful of Qui-Gon's hair.
"I say no!" Laure pulled another handful.
"Girls, girls, please. There's enough of my hair to go around. Or at least there was...." He trailed off as he felt the girls pulling roughly at his scalp.
Dande walked in on this scene. "Qui-Gon." He looked up. "You, me, bathtub...five minutes." She traipsed out of the lounge. Qui-Gon stood and followed her, leaving two pissed-off Hunkettes and a substantial amount of hair behind.
~*~
"What are you bringing to the potluck?" Obi asked Caeryn, pulling the JC Penny TM Jedi throw around them further.
"Trifle."
"Yummy."
"Yup."
~*~
Meanwhile, down the hall...
"What are you bringing to the potluck?" Luke asked Tasha, pulling his poncho around them further.
"I thought I'd make that nasty yellow shit your aunt forced me to eat the entire time we were visiting for Passover."
"You're kidding, right?"
"Nope."
~*~
"Alright! I will have quiet in this kitchen!" Vicki shouted over the raucous voices of the Hunkettes, each one clamouring to get to the appliances.
"Jeans are looking good, Vic," Darry said, while stirring a pitcher of martinis and motioning with her head towards Vicki's backside, which sported a paper Old Glory.
"Yeah, I haven't had time to get to the clinic."
"I'll patch you up as soon as I'm done preparing my contribution to the evening's festivities."
"Is that all you're bringing?" Vicki couldn't understand how anyone couldn't LIKE to cook.
"Hey, you're lucky I'm doing this much." Darry placed the pitcher in the fridge and the Stoli back in the freezer. She made a quick retreat out of the kitchen as Vicki put on her best aerobics instructor voice.
"YOU WILL TAKE TURNS! YOU WILL NOT LEAVE A MESS! YOU WILL WORK QUIETLY! YOU WILL NOT BREAK MY TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR KITCHEN AID!"
~*~
The Hunkette Temple grounds were adorned with red, white, and blue ribbons and outdoor tables were overflowing with peoples' contribution to the potluck. There seemed to be an overabundance of salad. Like the kind you buy in a bag when you're too lazy/cheap to make a real salad.
A loud crashing alerted the assembled guests that Qui-Gon and Laurie Ann had joined the party.
"Hey!" Emmy bitched. "That was my tree house they just fell out of!"
"I'll build you another one, sweetie," Tasha reassured her around a mouthful of potato salad.
"Ban, can I have some more of this great yellow stuff?" Luke asked.
"The food?"
"Oh, hell no. I mean the drink."
"Sure. It's called lemonade." She refilled his glass.
Darry leaned over and whispered to Shelley. "I guess I'm not the only one who brought alcoholic beverages to this party."
"Nope."
"Okay, what's in the lemonade?"
"Oh, a little lemon juice, a little water, a little sugar...and a whole lot of Everclear."
Vicki shouted over the din of clinking glasses, gulping food, slurping drinks, and bitching Yoda. "Now everyone, we have a surprise."
Everyone kept talking.
"SHUT UP, PEOPLE! I'M TALKING TO Y'ALL!!!!" People slowly quieted down. "Darry and I have a little surprise for you. With permission from Smokey the Bear, we have some fireworks. If you'll all have a look up..."
Those that were still sober looked up.
A beautiful display of fireworks began. It went on for about half an hour, while those that were still sober become less so.
For the finale, a huge blast went off and a spectacular explosion took place midair.
KA-BLAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!
"Was that supposed to happen?" Vicki whispered to Darry.
"Well, we were a little off course with that last one, but what the hell." Suddenly, debris began raining down on them.
Obi-Wan held up a piece of metal. "It says 'fur-bal' something."
"Uh oh." Darry breathed. "I think I'll take tomorrow off...."
End.
~*~
Have a happy and safe Fourth folks!