"Ms. Willis, -RRAWAWWAWWA-could you-RAWWWARARR-come out here please?"
Darry put down the latest Jedi Apprentice novel that Jenn had loaned her, took her feet off the desk, and pressed the com.
"What is it?"
"-RWWAWAWWA-"
"And what's that godawful noise?"
"-RRRAAAHHAWWW-problem-RRAWAWWAWA-"
"You don't say..."
Darry walked out into the main office and found the Senator ankle-deep in paper that was gushing out of the copier in waves. The sound it was making was deafening.
"My dear, I seem to have my hands full here," Palpatine shouted over the noise of the copier.
"Really?" Darry folded her arms over her Donna Karan jacket.
"You don't happen to know anything about copiers, do you, my dear?"
"I know enough." Darry leaned over, opened a panel on the machine, and pulled the out the powercell. The copier stopped and the office quieted.
"Ahh, that's much better," Palpatine smiled.
Darry removed the original and paced around to the secretary's desk. "Why didn't you ask me to do this? We have a copier at the Temple. How many do you want?"
"Uh…."
"What's the matter?"
Palpatine reached for the document.
"What is this, anyway?" Darry looked down at the paper.
REWARD!!!!!!
LOST: Lop-Eared Rabbit
COLOR: Brown
SIZE: Medium
NAME: Mr. Jaggers
If found, please call Darry Willis, Naboo Senate Offices
"You have GOT to be kidding?" Darry said incredulously.
"Uh, no. He seems to have disappeared."
Darry had turned away and covered her hand with her mouth, trying not to laugh in his face.
"Where's the secretary?"
"He's visiting his family on Alderaan."
Ah. So the annoying little bugger was from Alderaan. Hmm… bit of luck there.
"I repeat, how many of these do you want?" Darry reached for the com at the secretary's workstation and sat down.
"I should think about 500 would suffice. I was going to place them around the Senate offices."
"Of course," Darry giggled. She coded in the Hunkette Temple and swiveled around in the chair.
"Yo, talk to me."
"Mace, what the hell are you doing over there!"
"Hangin' with my girls."
"Uh huh…is one of 'your' girls around now?"
"Of course, they're crawling all over me. They can't get enough-mmmrrppphh"
"Enough is right. It's Eiluned, Darry, watcha need?"
"If I fax something to you can you copy it for me?"
"Sure, send it over." Darry turned to the fax machine and shouted.
"Nooooooo!"
"Darry, what is it? Are you all right?" Eiluned cried from the com.
"I'm on it," called Mace. He raced from the room, lightsaber ignited.
Darry grabbed the Senator's arm as he attempted to smash a copy of the lost bunny notice through the fax machine.
"My dear, are you certain that this is an appropriate time for this?" He reached for her other arm.
"Get away from that fax machine." Darry waved him away.
Eiluned smirked. Not only did it sound as though Darry wasn't in any immediate danger, Mace, in attempt at shining on the Hunkettes, had dashed to her rescue, knowing neither her circumstances nor her location. He'd realize his mistake once he was off Hunkette property, which was pretty much where Eiluned wanted him.
"Eil, nevermind. I guess I'll call Kinkos. Get off, will you!" A jar of paper clips went flying.
"Are you ok?" Eiluned asked.
"Yeah. No! Not the label maker!"
KaBLAM!
"Oh, is that what that is," Palpatine mused.
"Was," Darry sighed. "I think I'd better go, Eil, things here are getting dicey."
"Ok, we'll see you when you get back."
"What's Vicki cooking for dinner? Please tell me it's not rabbit."
"She said something about chili, but she has a hard time keeping a certain Jedi from leaning over her shoulder and eating from the stove while she's cooking chili."
"Oh, and I'm sure she hates it…" Darry smiled, imagining Vicki in her "Kiss the Cook" apron and the kitchen door locked.
"See ya in a few," Eiluned said and signed off.
Darry leaned down as far as she could in the short skirt and began picking up paper clips.
"Your attire is particularly smart today, my dear," Palpatine said as he watched her.
"Rather than ogling me, you could help, you know." The Senator crouched over and began picking up paper clips.
The vidscreen sparked to life.
"Senator Palpatine, is that you?" came a haughty female voice from the screen.
Palpatine and Darry started at the voice, then banged their heads together while looking up at the same time.
"Ow."
"Oh shit," Darry muttered under her breath.
"Ah, Ms. Willis. May I take this opportunity to thank you once again for the holiday presents. The one you mailed has just arrived and I have placed the picture upon the wall of my chambers. I assume that this Ricky Martin is a man of some importance on your world.
"You could say that."
My handmaidens would like to know if he is…available."
Darry tried not to make retching noises. "I'm not sure, your highness."
"I will admit, he is not unattractive."
Several light bulbs flashed above Darry's head and she wished not for the first time that she knew someone at Lucasfilm.
"Yeah…well, anyway, I have to go call several repair people and I'm sure you have important business with the Senator." Darry walked into her office while Palpatine sat down at his secretary's desk.
The outside com signaled the minute she sat down. Darry picked it up while settling her feet back on the desk.
"Naboo Senate Offices, Ms. Willis speaking."
"Sss-Senator Palpatine."
"No, Ms. Willis."
"Get me Senator Palpatine."
"I'm afraid he's in a meeting, can I take a message?" Darry said sweetly as she absently rubbed the bridge of her nose.
Heavy breathing emanated from the phone followed by a menacing voice. "I have the rabbit."
Darry reached for her nail file. "Uh huh?"
More breathing. "If you want to see it again, you'll put 5000 Republic dataries in a brown paper bag and prepare to deliver them to me at a yet undisclosed location."
"Sure. Anything else?"
"I will call again in one hour to disclose the yet undisclosed location."
"No problem, Maul. And how much of that will you be giving to me to keep this quiet?"
There was a very long pause.
"I don't- uh- that is- I'm not…how did you know it was me?"
"Because you tried to read my thoughts. Most of the Jedi now realize that Terran women are immune to mind whammies. It's obviously not the Boss, who really IS in a meeting, so that leaves you."
Maul now vaguely recalled how Sidious had explained to him that his new employee was something called a Terran and immune to mind touches.
Bah! How could he have been so stupid?
"Plus, I recognize your voice," Darry continued.
Maul felt even less bright that he did a moment ago. "Uh- look, I'll just bring the bunny back, while he's out of the office, ok?"
"Works for me, " Darry glanced at the Senator's datebook, being careful not to break the rhythm of her nail filing. "Looks like he'll be in a meeting with the Trade Federation all afternoon."
"He's meeting with them a lot, these days."
"Yup. See ya later, tat-boy." Darry broke the connection and rose to her feet. She walked into the Senator's office, retrieved the datapads and documents he needed for his meeting, put them in his case, and strode out to the secretary's office.
"Time for your next meeting, Senator." She found Palpatine trying to shut off vidscreen by hitting it with his fist. He obviously thought that the two holes he'd already made in it hadn't done the trick.
Darry patted him on the arm. "I'll take care of it. And I'll bring in those flyers for you tomorrow." He smiled at her as took the briefcase.
"You're so good to me, my dear."
"Let's not forget that, as time goes by, eh?" Darry reminded him as he left the offices.
Then she looked around the room. The stapler was stuck in the potted plant, and the staples all seemed to be imbedded in the desk. The datapad cabinet had been knocked over and its contents were spilled all over the floor, as were the contents of the jar of paper clips…again. A spring was sticking out through the back of the leather chair.
Darry shook her head and returned to her office and her book. Two hours later, she heard the office suite doors open and then close. She walked out to the secretary's station and found a large, brown, lop-eared rabbit peeing on the desk.
Time to go home, Darry thought.
* * * * *
She arrived at the Temple where various Hunkettes and Jedi were lounging around after coming home from work or school.
She glanced toward the kitchen. The door was shut and giggling was coming from behind it. It smelled like dinner was cooking, though. Well, she'd come back later.
Darry went to up to her room and changed out of her work clothes, pulling on her sweats, and grabbing a shirt that looked like one of Luke's from off a chair. Then she laid down several pages from a discarded copy of the Coruscant Clarion on the bathroom floor, deposited the rabbit on the paper, and quietly shut the door.
Darry headed back downstairs and walked to the kitchen.
"Vicki, I need some lettuce and carrots and other kinds of rabbit food," Darry said to the door.
She tapped her foot and waited patiently. About three minutes later, the door opened a crack and a bowl full of salad was thrust into Darry's hands.
"Thanks!"
"Uhhnnn," replied a voice that sounded too low to be Vicki's.
Darry ran back upstairs and put the food in front of the rabbit, which happily began eating.
"Dinner," shouted Vicki's aerobic's instructor's voice.
* * * * *
Darry sprawled in front of the vid screen watching the news and eating in one of the Temple's many lounges.
"Darry!" called Kathleen from the top of the stairs.
"What?!" She pulled a hair from her bowl of chili.
"I was just returning that perfume I borrowed and couldn't help but notice that you have a bunny in your bathroom."
"Yeah, I brought some work home with me." She inspected the hair: her length, but she coloured the grey out of hers…what a surprise.
End