* * * * *
Passions rose as their eyes met over the table-
* * * * *
"Ok ladies, try not to make too much of a mess." Aya said.
She paced around one side of the huge Hunkette Temple banquette hall where the large T-shaped dining table was set up with white construction paper on it. Along it's length the Hunkettes sat in rows. At intervals on the table were art supplies of every kind.
Jael walked along the other side of the table looking over the shoulders of the Hunkettes, who were all busy personalizing their valentine mailboxes.
"Hey!" yelled Tammy at Carolann. "Stop getting paste on my smock!"
"Ladies..." Jael warned.
"I'm out of glitter!" Emmy wailed from the end of the table.
Dorotea grabbed a canister of glitter from another part of the table and walked down to Emmy. "How much of that are you going to put on there?"
"As much as I need to," Emmy said.
Judy raised her hand. "Yes?" Jael walked over.
"I think Darry is copying off me," she whined.
"Am not!" yelled Darry from across from Judy.
"Are so!" yelled Judy.
"Don't make me separate you." Jael cautioned. "Let's see what you've got." She looked at the two Hunkettes' artistic attempts.
"Uh, Judy, I don't see any similarity. You've pasted on nice scenes from romantic movies and musicals, and all the pics on Darry's look like they came from the Good Vibrations catalogue." Jael shook her head.
Darry sneered at Judy. "See? Em, pass over the glitter!"
"Sho' thing, my sister!" the bottle of glitter came flying down the table and burst, covering everything, as it fell short of Darry's hands.
Chaos ensued.
* * * * *
Her bosom heaved-
* * * * *
Please enter your credit card number.
Senator Palpatine entered the Naboo Treasury's private account number and hit "send".
This was great. Why had he waited so long for Darry to introduce him to the joys of cybershopping?
He spun around in the big leather chair at his desk and surveyed the merchandise that was slowly collecting. He stood and walked over to his latest purchase.
He heard Darry enter her office and set down her briefcase. A moment later there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," Palpatine called while lining up the shot.
Darry entered, carrying her appointment book, and quietly waited while the Senator putted the golf ball down the narrow office green. It just missed. Darry raised an eyebrow and nodded approvingly. It would have been very easy to make the shot using a little "assistance", but Palpatine preferred to learn a new skill as thoroughly as possible before manipulating it.
She plucked a bit of lint from her Prada suit.
"Good afternoon, my dear. What's on the agenda for today?" He strode over and stood behind her, looking over her shoulder at her appointment book and placing a kiss on the side of her neck.
"Senator, please," she chastised. "The window blinds are wide open. You never know what kind of sick weirdo might be looking in here from the next building."
"Quite right," he said, brushing his hand through her hair, then turned and walked back to his desk.
Darry looked down at her book. "I'm meeting with the Naboo Treasury Offices today and thought it might be a good idea that you know the story I'll be bullshitting to them about the numerous recent withdrawals."
"Splendid." He sat, smiled, and steepled his fingers, his eyes firmly fixed to a point roughly 12 inches below the bridge of Darry's nose.
"Well, there's the Pokeman trading card collection that the Queen is amassing and I thought I'd also throw in the increased cost of parking space on Coruscant. Work for you?" Darry looked up.
"Absolutely," Palpatine said, as he reached for the computer mouse, a gesture that Darry noted had recently become one of dismissal.
She was a little concerned about her boss' behaviour since their return from Naboo. She wasn't overly worried about the daily delivery of roses he was sending her, but he now seemed obsessed with the new computer she had brought in. Rather than using his time to plan his scheme to become Chancellor, he'd been on-line.
She walked out to the secretary's station where a large vase of yellow roses waited for her.
"That boyfriend of yours must be made of money," the secretary intoned, feigning interest.
"Not for much longer..." Darry remarked absently as she carried the vase into her office. "Put the Treasury Department through when they call."
* * * * *
His manhood throbbed-
* * * * *
"So what's the theme for this party, again?" Luke asked Darry as she walked in from the steamy bathroom in her robe and slippers with a towel around her neck.
"Famous Terran Valentines." She sat down on the bed in front of Luke and picked up the TV remote, as he reached for the towel and began patting her hair dry. Darry leaned back against him.
"What the hell are you watching?"
"Judge Judy, I think."
"Ack! Mind if I change it?"
He chuckled. "Not at all."
Click. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate and distinct, though equally important ..."
* * * * *
But the past would always haunt her-
* * * * *
"Luke?" Banaoire knocked gently at Darry's door. "Time to take me to brunch."
"He's gone to find you, Ban," Darry called through the door and then yawned. Thank god for the weekend; the clinic worked on an on-call basis for the next two days and the Senate was not in session. Darry stretched under the covers and prepared to doze for the rest of the morning.
"Cool. By the way, Darry, you're sister's here."
* * * * *
They were reunited years later-
* * * * *
"So, my name's Mace, if you ever need to find me..." he leaned in and breathed on Jennifer's face, his medallions flashing.
"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Jennifer looked around nervously. No one was in the foyer; the woman who had let her in had gone upstairs to announce her and hadn't returned.
"Mace, isn't it time for your medication?" Darry called from the top of the stairs. Jenn appeared behind Darry, who turned and demanded, "Jenn, call off your pet."
"Here Macey!" Jenn clapped her hands and he went running up the stairs and yanked her down the hall.
Darry descended the curving staircase to greet Jennifer.
"Hosehead. Long time, no see."
"You too, Hoser."
"How'd you get here?"
"I brought her," said the voice of a male coming through the Temple door.
Silence hung in the air.
"Hosehead, Brad Pitt seems to have just walked in."
"Actually, he's Paul Maclean, from the "River Runs Through It". You can get sued for writing actor fic, you know," Jennifer reminded her elder sister.
"Oh, yeah. So, what brings him HERE, then?" Darry asked.
"He was getting tired of standing in a creek, I guess. I told him where you were living and he suggested we drop in for a visit. Personally, I think he wants to play with all the futuristic gadgets in the Star Wars fandom."
"Well, let me show you to the guest rooms."
* * * * *
The story unfolds in a palatial mansion-
* * * * *
Dande offered to be tour guide. Darry followed along.
"In order to keep the 'noise' in the residence halls to a minimum, the Qui-chicks occupy this wing; the Obi-chicks are over here; the sammich, Mace, and Luke chicks are those between them."
"Downstairs is the kitchen, dining rooms- we have two, one smaller and informal, one larger and more formal. There are also four or five lounges, a library, conservatory- basically the entire Clue(do) board.
Darry opened a door that led to a hall and toward a glass-fronted large room with "Jedi Clinic" stenciled in large friendly letters on the door.
"Here's the clinic." Jennifer and Paul glanced in.
"Do you get a lot of business?" Jennifer asked.
"Quite a lot, actually," Darry said. "There are all sorts of training accidents over at the Jedi Temple."
"But don't they have their own medical facilities?" Paul asked.
"Weeeeeelll, technically they do, but for some reason we get most of their trade," Dande said, smiling.
'Gee, wonder why," Jennifer muttered under her breath.
"Our personal service," Darry said with a smile.
"Yeah, that's what I figured."
"And don't forget our money-back guarantee," Dande enthused.
"What?" Paul said.
"I think she's being facetious," Jennifer said.
"So, how long are you staying?" Darry asked as they made their way back to the Temple proper.
"Well, is there anything happening here that we should stay for?"
* * * * *
As ruler of an empire, he was ruthless-
* * * * *
"Your call is being forwarded to the business offices, please hold."
"I do NOT wish to hold any longer," Palpatine roared into the com. "Put me through to your ruler now, or I will destroy you all!"
The obsequious voice from Seattle responded "Sir, we get thousands of threats a day; what makes you think that your complaint is any more important than the others?" The politician was immediately put back on hold.
Palpatine wished Darry was here. She'd know how to handle these officious middle-management types. He did know, but he was still wary of Terrans despite his ever-increasing knowledge base.
He paced around the quiet senatorial offices as he was bombarded by advertisements for new and improved Microsoft products.
Finally a voice returned. "This is technical support, my name is Chester, what's your name?"
Palpatine called on his anger and hatred, honed by a faulty ISP, out-of-stock merchandise, SPAM, and chain letters addressed to some girl named Loretta in Baton Rouge.
"My name is Darth Sidious and I order you to assist me in fixing this infernal machine."
"Absolutely Darth. That's what I'm here for. Now, before we start, can I get your zip code?"
"No, you may not, and my name is Sidious, you fool."
"OK, Mr. Sidious...um, what seems to be the problem?" Chester asked, the insipid customer-service pleasantness in his voice momentarily frightened away.
"I have been trying to download...uh...an Internet site for three hours and it refuses to come up."
"Which site is this, Da-I mean, Mr. Sidious?"
"It's the-" Palpatine decided to bite the bullet. "Victoria's Secret on-line catalogue."
"Oh, that's simple, sir. Let me give you the url."
"I already have the url, you stunted slime. I am having trouble with placing an order."
"Ah, that's sweet. Is it a Valentine's Day present for someone?"
"That's none of your business. Now just fix it."
Chester talked Palpatine through several code commands. With a growl, Chester was dismissed.
Following that, the Senator was able to get into the site and chat with the cyber sales clerk, who helped him pick out a nice black lacy camisole.
Please enter your credit card number.
Senator Palpatine entered the Naboo Treasury's private account number and hit "send".
*This program has preformed an illegal operation and will be shut down.*
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I hate you Bill Gates!" Palpatine smashed his fists into the monitor, then fell across the desk, electrocuted.
About three minutes later he raised his head and glanced around. He seemed to be ok, aside from a bit of tingling through his arms and fingers.
And the computer seemed to be off-line.
* * * * *
As she stood on a chair, the minx showed a hint of ankle-
* * * * *
The ballroom was choking with red and white crepe paper.
Darry, Jennifer, and Paul surveyed the decorations being hung by various Hunkettes.
"LAVA WANGERS!" yelled an irritated voice from the foyer followed by a crash. Jennifer and Paul looked quizzically at Darry.
"That would be Emmy," she said. "I better go find out what's happening." They all walked out to the great hall and saw half a dozen Hunkette mailboxes in a pile on the floor and Emmy holding a stack of them almost as tall as she was.
Paul stooped and helped her collect the fallen Kleenex boxes covered in paint, pictures and glitter.
"I need to stack these in the foyer, so that everyone who comes through the door, has to put a valentine in the boxes before they enter the party."
"How many people are you expecting?" Jennifer asked.
"Well, there's us and the Jedi Temple," Dorotea said walking in with another armload of boxes.
"There must be a lot of you and them," Paul mused, as he took the boxes from Dorotea. The two girls began arranging them alphabetically around the room.
"How would the two of you like to judge the costume contest?" Darry asked.
* * * * *
She laced up her bodice with trembling fingers-
* * * * *
"So, let me just make sure I've got this right," Jennifer said to Darry as she watched her sister donning a wig of shoulder-length tightly curled hair. "You and the Hunkettes are dressing up as 'famous Terran Valentines' and the Jedi are supposed to learn about that?"
"That's pretty much it. Just a flimsy excuse for a drunken shag-fest, really." Darry put on a man's shirt and tuxedo jacket. Jennifer walked around Darry's dressing room inspecting the décor and contents. Lifting a pile of discarded clothes from a chair, she sat down.
"What is all this?"
"Oh, most of those are Obi's tunics. He has a tendency to oversleep and dash out, barely dressed. All the Obi-chicks have a collection of them."
"No, I meant THIS." Jennifer held up a piece of newspaper that had carrot and lettuce remains hanging off it.
"Oh, never mind. It would take too long to explain. How do I look?"
"Not very much like Tony Geary," Jennifer said.
* * * * *
Illuminated by a thousand candles, the dancers twirled-
* * * * *
The ballroom was full of Hunkettes in costume, Jedi in their traditional garb, and uniformed wait-staff.
Jennifer and Paul danced to the hired orchestra's music- mostly waltzes and romantic movie music.
She bumped into Laure dancing with Qui-Gon. They made an interesting couple; he wearing tunic and robe, she dressed like Jane from a Tarzan movie.
"Hey! I didn't know you lived here."
Laure turned and shouted over the music. "I don't. I live in Sunnydale. But I come here for the parties. I'm also in charge of the youngest padawans while they're here."
Jennifer looked around. "I don't see anyone below the age of 17."
"Yup, and you won't. They're all sound asleep. We had a marathon tetherball tournament this afternoon. Tuckered them right out! See ya." Qui-Gon waltzed her away.
"Odd place," Paul commented.
"Odd sister," Jennifer said back.
* * * * *
Masks hid their identities; hid lovers from lovers-
* * * * *
"The costume contest will begin!" Paul called from the dais in the ballroom.
The Hunkettes all clapped and jumped up and down. The names and pictures of the real people they were impersonating were posted around the room, along with short abstracts expounding their importance as icons in Terran history. The Jedi were encouraged to read these in order to become more familiar with Terran culture.
Jennifer read from a card. "Our first couple is Panth & Kim." Panth and Kim jumped up on the dais modeling their costumes. Panth was wearing a white turtleneck sweater, naval officer's hat and held a pipe firmly between her teeth. Kim had on a slinky dress, strappy ankle-tied high heels, and carried a microphone.
Jennifer continued. "Let's hear it for Captain and Tenile!" The crowd went wild. "Where would we be without their contribution to history? After all, such songs as 'Love Will Keep Us Together' and 'Muskrat Love' are timeless."
Panth and Kim twirled up on the dais, and then made room for the next couple.
"Eiluned and Kayla!" Fred and Daphne joined the Captain and Tenile. Eiluned spoke at length, and assured the crowd that Fred, despite all evidence to the contrary, did not have a thing for Shaggy.
"Dande and Maeve!" The diamond around Maeve's neck looked like it was giving her whiplash. The orchestra behind them played a Celine Dion standard.
"Vicki and Laure!" The orchestra played the Flinstone's theme.
"Bam bam!" yelled Vicki, as she swung her club around. She was having a great time, as the catering for this party was being done by Martha Stewart. (Which explained why absolutely no one was hanging out in the kitchen.)
Tammy and Aya, as Batman and Catwoman joined the famous couples, looking very 60ish. Dudda dudda dudda dudda dudda dudda dudda, went the orchestra.
Tasha and Darry walked up on stage arm in arm, Tasha in a wedding dress and Darry in a tux. "Luke and Laura Spencer!" The General Hospital fans among the crowd went wild.
Finally Jenn and Emmy joined the group. Em wore jeans and a long-sleeved striped shirt. Over her hair, she wore a dirty yellow shoulder-length wig. Next to her Jenn slinked up in a white shredded long dress and wore clunky white shoes. The orchestra made a good effort at "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
* * * * *
Shhh! It's a secret-
* * * * *
"Did you get a receipt?" Palpatine asked Maul as his apprentice handed him the pink and white-striped bag filled with tissue paper.
"Yes, my Master, but the assistant assured me that any young lady would love such a gift."
"I hope she is right." Palpatine said under his breath, considering all the trouble he'd gone to. The Senator had finally dispatched his apprentice to Cherry Hill Mall on Earth in order to procure the garment he'd been trying to order all afternoon. Maul had done well. He considered sending Maul on more Away Missions. Palpatine dismissed his apprentice and looked at his new purchase.
Then he sat at his desk and wrote out the card to accompany the narrow box. He left his home, wearing black robes and cape, and made his way to the Hunkette Temple, determined to ensure that the right Hunkette received the package. He did not trust Maul to do this. In fact, he was sure Maul would be distracted by a Temple full of beautiful women.
Palpatine used the Force to conceal himself from the formidable security system around the Temple and approached the kitchen door. He thought he'd sneak in and make his way to Darry's room by following the scent of Jean Paul Gaultier perfume. He'd leave the box and sneak back out.
Instead, he was met at the door by an angry-looking, middle-aged woman wearing an apron and wielding a whisk.
"What do you want?"
"Uh, I've just come to deliver a Valentine's Day gift to one of the occupants."
"Dressed like that? Who are you some kind of pervert?" She shook the whisk at him menacingly, covering him with meringue.
Palpatine reached for the implement with the intention of using the Force to disarm her. Instead a violet lighting bolt issued from his fingertips and zapped the woman, who collapsed in a heap. Palpatine casually stepped over her while inspecting his fingernails.
* * * * *
And there was much rejoicing-
* * * * *
"And the winners are...." Jennifer announced as the orchestra's drum section rolled, "Fred and Daphne!"
Kayla and Eiluned bowed and accepted their prize: a year's subscription to Harlequin Romances and Playgirl Magazine. All the other contestants received 1lb boxes of chocolates.
And the band played on.
* * * * *
Slowly, she revealed her silky undergarments-
* * * * *
Later that night, Jennifer knocked on Darry's door.
"Come in," Darry called.
Jennifer opened the door and looked around.
"I'm not disturbing you and a date, am I?"
Darry giggled. "Not tonight. Luke was here yesterday and I see Obi about once every week-and-a-half. There's a rotation schedule after all, and he has a number of women to...see."
"Ah...so what are you doing?" Jennifer once again placed the discarded tunics on the floor and sat down.
"I'm going through my valentines. We all got one from every member of the Jedi Temple. And they all had to be written personally."
"Gawd, who's the one from that's got flashing lights and is playing Barry White's "Can't Get Enough of Your Love'?" Jennifer asked.
"Three guesses and the first two don't count," Darry replied.
"And what's this?" Jennifer held up the Victoria's Secrets box.
"Oh, that's from...Earth, actually."
"There's a card." Jennifer read the neat cursive handwriting. "'Happy Valentine's Day, my dear. A little something to wear around the office. P.' Uh, on second thought, I don't really want to know, do I?" She held up the camisole. "It's very pretty, though."
'Yup, " Darry said as she dove into the box of chocolates.
* * * * *
And they both lived happily ever after-
* * * * *
Paul snuggled up to Jennifer in front of the guestroom's big fireplace.
"Well, that was an interesting experience. I guess this place is kinda normal, considering..."
The Temple's loudspeaker crackled to life.
"Sorry to disturb everyone," came Vicki's voice. "I have a couple of brief announcements. Number one: Yoda would like to be taken down off the tetherball pole now, Laure. And number two: someone seems to have killed Martha Stewart.
That is all."
END
* * * * *
Happy Valentine's Day Siblings! XOXOXOXOX
Commentary courtesy of Laure's vast collection of romance novels.