"What interview?" Dande asked. "You're not thinking of leaving the clinic, are you?" Visions of rampaging women and Jedi crashing through the door filled her head. '"And so close to the video release date…" Dande moaned. She stretched her legs out and propped her feet up on her desk. Her white coat was becoming wrinkled where The Mastah was rubbing the morning's tensions from her shoulders.
"It's only part-time." Darry said walking behind a screen and stripping out of her short white dress, nurse's cap, white stockings and white shoes. She changed into a tailored Calvin Klein suit made up of a jacket, open to show a vest with plunging neckline and a skirt as short as the nurse's dress had been. She completed the outfit with stockings and officious-looking fm pumps. She re-wound up her hair and put on her horn-rimmed glasses.
"What would the Temple do without a steady supply of servants, gardeners, chefs, and chocolate? Someone has to keep the government from hassling us."
"Are you being hasseled, Little One?" Qui-Gon asked from behind Dande.
"No, but it still helps to have a friend in the government. Besides, you never know; the political climate might radically change and we need to be prepared."
"It hasn't changed in centuries, what could suddenly happen now?" Qui-Gon asked. Dande and Darry looked meaningfully at each other. "I must leave, my pet," Qui-Gon said to Dande. "I told Jenn I would stop by and help her with a school project. I also need to find my Padawan, who, at last sight was modeling some black outfit for Emmy and Diebin. I haven't seen them in hours." He leaned down and kissed the top of Dande's head.
"If you need me later, you know where to find me," Dande said as he headed through the automatic door of the clinic. Once he'd left, Dande turned and eyed Darry suspiciously.
"You're not worried about the government. What are you up to?"
"No, really," Darry said, transferring items from her little black bag to her Coach briefcase. "What do you think the Empire would do with the Hunkette Temple once they'd finished with the Jedi Temple? We need to ensure that both survive and that there will be opportunities for hot gratuitous Jedi sex for years to come." She stopped by the mirror by the door and reapplied her lipstick. "And I am fully prepared to sacrifice myself for the sake of the mental and physical health of my siblings."
"Yeah," said a disbelieving Dande. "And this was the SPEB's definition of altruism, I'll bet."
"That may have had something to do with it…" Darry said as she waved goodbye.
She entered the Naboo Senatorial offices and was greeted by a nondescript man behind a desk.
"May I help you?" he inquired as condescendingly as possible.
"I'm here to see Senator Palpatine." Darry said, setting her briefcase down by her feet and giving the man an icy smile.
"Do you have an appointment?" the man asked.
"No, I don't need one. I'm his new personal assistant."
"I beg your pardon? I don't recall the Senator saying that he was hiring an assistant." The secretary waded through a stack data pads on his desk. "And I don't see anyone's name on his appointment list for this afternoon."
"I told you, I don't need an appointment. Just tell him that Darry Willis is here to talk to him about the assistant that he requires."
"I'm sorry, but to my knowledge, the Senator needs no assistant! And, he will be tied up in a meetings with the Queen all afternoon, so if you don't mind-"
"Trade Federation trying to cause trouble?" Darry asked nonchalantly.
"Excuse me?"
"Believe me, he will need an assistant very soon, so I suggest that you just tell the Senator that I'm here to meet with him and negotiate a contract for employment. You can do that, can't you?"
Darry removed her glasses and gave the man her most professional nurse's glare. This was the one she reserved for Hunkettes who had repeatedly not taken her advice to control their thudding ("just do him!"), or for a certain padawan who insisted she stay in bed rather than go to work. (Funnily enough she'd never had to use it on the Farmboy; he was such a good boy. Oh well, she'd fix that later.)
Unable to withstand the virulent optical attack, the secretary pressed the com and timidly spoke into it.
"Sir, your new assistant is here to see you."
"Oh?" Came the response. "I wasn't aware that I had a new assistant."
"That's what I was trying to explain to her sir, but she apparently is not taking no for an answer."
"I see." There was a pause. "Well, by all means, show her in. I believe I have a few spare moments."
The secretary broke the connection with the inner office and pressed a button under his desk. The door to the adjoining office opened.
"You may go in," he said, looking up. Darry was already through the door.
Senator Palpatine rose as Darry walked into the office. He gestured to one of the plush chairs facing the large ornate desk. Darry noticed he was wearing the same stunning blue number Lucas had him dressed in for the entirety of The Phantom Menace.
Darry set down her briefcase and sat down, making a mental note to contact a tailor. The color did suit him, but he needed a few more outfits. She was determined to keep him out of that drab Sith garment for as long as possible. It was hardly telegenic and not at all the image a politician should convey.
"May I offer you something to drink, young lady?" the Senator asked.
"No thank you," Darry said. He sat, looking at her carefully.
"My secretary informs me that you are my new assistant. I have to admit to not remember hiring one. Perhaps you can enlighten me."
Darry was all business. "I can understand how this may have slipped your mind. I am sure that the current situation on your homeworld has you preoccupied."
"And what situation would this be," Palpatine leaned back in his executive leather chair and steepled his fingers.
"The pending blockade by the Trade Federation, of course, but that's not what I've come here to discuss." The Senator raised his eyebrows, but made no other show of surprise.
Darry dismissed his look with a wave of her hand, her Cartier watch jangling.
Palpatine tilted his chair upright and looked at her, presumably using some Sith trick to read her mind. Silly man, she thought. He'll have no more luck than the Jedi did. They had discovered Hunkettes don't allow anyone to know their thoughts unless they wanted someone to know them (and these shared thoughts generally ran along the lines of "Oh, I wish so-and-so were here" and "I'd love it if you'd do *that*" and "more, don't stop, more!")
Darry reached for her briefcase, making sure to move slowly enough for the Senator to have a chance to look down her blouse. Then she sat up and opened the case, rifling through some papers.
She found the one she wanted and put on her glasses.
"Here are my terms for taking this job. I am not your secretary. I am your assistant, 'right hand', 'intern extrordinaire' and any other terms that reflect my stunning professional abilities. I will ensure that this office runs smoothly and that you are not hindered by any visits by undesirables such as the media (except when necessary), special interest groups, and bothersome constituents, which I might add, is a skill your secretary could do with some training in. I will gladly undertake any and all meetings with said people, as I am very good at telling them what they want to hear; qualities, I might add, that I admire in you.
"I will happily take calls, run errands and make coffee when your secretary is out, but I expect a lavish office and use of the company hovercar and chauffeur. I can also make as many personal phone calls as I want and use the photocopier for non-senatorial business.
"There is no need to either keep me informed about or hide your political aspirations; I'm very much aware of them. I know everything, so don't bother having me done away with. I guarantee that it will be much more lucrative for both of us if you just placate me. In fact, I have a few ideas about developing a nice logo to represent your party, and also know where you can obtain some technical plans for a building project you might want to undertake.
"I reside at the Hunkettes Temple and therefore stipulate that part of my benefits package include unceasing amounts of champagne and chocolate plus facilities, provisions, bar staff and cleaning services for random parties at the drop of a hat. In turn, my siblings and I will ensure that those pesky Jedi stay out of your business.
"I will make every effort to dress professionally and provocatively. I expect you to call me 'Ms. Willis' in public, 'my dear' in private and to make at least one inappropriate advance toward me every day."
She put the paper back in the briefcase, put the briefcase back down on the floor and removed her glasses, staring directly into his eyes, daring him not to hire her.
Senator Palpatine looked at Darry for a long time and then began to smile. He stood and walked around to the other side of the desk, leaning on it just in front of her. Then he picked up Darry's hand and kissed it.
"My dear, I think we shall get along splendidly."
End