Bert Boehmler
"You know guys, sheep are the most anatomically similar to women."
| Bert, AKA Boy Boehmler, is one of the only three from the Hollander Gang to make it through all four years with me. We made it through a lot of fun stuff like Capture the Flag at midnight ("When we say it has to be visible, that means you CAN'T BURY THE FLAG, YOU MORONS!"), the enormous snowball fight in the Freshman Quad ("Justin, wake up - EVERYONE is in the Quad having a snowball fight!"), Six Flags our Sophomore summer, and heading down to the shore for Jay Path's birthday. |
| Then there was that Spring Fair Sophomore year when I said, "Bert! Bert! They need some people to dress up as Sesame Street characters! I'll be Ernie if you be Bert!" I didn't think he'd actually say YES, but when he said, "Ok," I stared at him a minute and said, "Okie," and went and signed up. It was a lot of fun, but you would NOT believe how many gay people came up to us and say, "You guys are our heroes!" Bert, remember the lesbian couple that wanted to take a picture with us? Bert also scores major points since he was the only person to actually make it to Mardi Gras with me, when all the REST of our friends bailed on us, senior year! And of course, after graduation he was my main hang out person who I could call when I needed something to do. Of course I shudder to think of the enormous amounts of time we lost playing Goldeneye or just watching television, but Bert's moved to Philadelpiha now, so I am more productive with my time. (i.e. I talk to my stuffed animals a lot more and incessantly play with my computer now!) | 
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| Bert actually made it to an InterVaristy event once, so he finally met some of my little IV buddies (Michelle had been quietly spreading the rumor that Bert was someone I made up because I had no friends, so it was a good thing he met them at least once before he left Baltimore!) The last time I saw him was our friend Ted's wedding. During the dancing we would constantly duck out to the bathroom because I am an abyssmal dancer so I avoid it like the plague, and he hates dancing too - we were later admonished by one of Ted's friends because she said, "There were ten sorority girls standing around with no one to dance with, and you two ducked out?? What were you thinking??" We promptly tried to hook Bert up with her. |
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