Heaven
by Jera
RECAP: Liz left for London for an indefinite length of stay after finals. Lucky realized he was being a fool for pushing Liz away. Nikolas offered to let him use the Cassadine jet.
Liz stopped by the Serpentine Lake in the Hyde park. The early morning air was doing wonders for her lungs, but nothing for her heart. There was only one boat on the lake. Liz sat down on the grass not caring the grass was still wet. Her parents' rental house was in Mayfair which was right by the Hyde park, and she'd grown to love the different kinds of birds she'd seen in the park. She didn't understand how a park in the inner city London would have so many different kind of birds. Sure the park used to be a hunting forest, but that was long time ago. Nowadays, people boating on the lake, talking in the Speaker's corner, it wasn't the middle of the nowhere any more. Maybe the birds were much better at adapting than human. Much better than her that's for sure.
Liz was idly pulling the tips of the grass on the ground. What would Lucky be doing right now? Would he be sleeping? Or could he be thinking about her? She shook her head, and was furious with herself for not being able to get Lucky out of her mind for even just a few peaceful minutes. The single boat on the lake was coming toward her way slowly. She remembered the boat ride Lucky took her a few months ago. They'd been so happy that day. They'd kissed for the first time that day. How she wished Lucky would be here with her. And she was going to Paris this morning. It would certainly be perfect if Lucky was going to Paris with her. Instead, she was going there with Sarah. Sarah apparently had friends there which was why their parents agreed to let them go even though they couldn't get the time off to go with them. Sarah had looked happy here. She'd gotten over Nikolas all right. She was dating and crazy in love with the guy. Somehow Liz didn't think it was going to be as easy for her. Lucky still had her heart, and he probably always will. How do you try to love someone else when your heart was not there? Impossible. She still hadn't decided if she was going back to Port-Charles. Not seeing Lucky at all was a lot more painful than seeing him even if they weren't talking. She'd found that out very quickly after she got to London. Would she be able to live under the same roof with Lucky knowing he didn't want her anymore? She threw a little rock into the water and watched it disappear yet left the ripple effect on the water for a long time. Lucky was the rock that was thrown in the lake her heart was made of. A Very Big Rock. She thought. And laughed at herself. She was helpless. She was completely helplessly in love with Lucky.
The little boat was coming closer, and she could now see that there was only one person on the boat. A young man who was obviously very at ease on the boat. He smiled at Liz, showing his beautiful teeth. He was dressed very well. Probably someone who lived in the Knightsbridge, the extremely rich neighborhood south of Hyde Park. Liz smiled slightly back to the young man who looked to be a couple years older than her. She looked back down on the ground, and peaked at her watch. She needed to get home and get ready to go to the airport with Sarah. She stood up, and walked off not knowing the young man on the boat kept his eyes on her until he couldn't see her any more.
The cab stopped in front of the expensive looking house Liz's parents were renting. Lucky stepped out of the car, the over-night bag in hand, thanked the driver and went to knock on the door. Not before taking a deep breath, of course. He'd made it here. He'd gotten the address from Laura, who was being very understanding about Lucky's having to make the trip right away. She'd caught Lucky standing at Liz's bedroom door staring at the almost empty room when he came home to pack. For the thousandth time Lucky was thankful he had such cool parents. Laura didn't say a word about not wanting him to go even though he knew she would be worrying about him. He'd reminded her that he got to Port-Charles on his own when he was barely eleven years old, and hoped that would ease her mind just a little.
The door opened, and a middle-aged woman with British accent asked him what she could do for him. He asked for Elizabeth Webber.
Woman: Young Miss Webber? She's not here. She left for Paris an hour and half ago. You should come back in a week. She'll be back then.
Lucky: Paris? Elizabeth went to Paris? Why? Did she go with her family?
Woman: No, just her and Miss Sarah. They went to see Miss Sarah's friends.
Lucky: Do you know when the plane leave? Where are they staying in Paris? Please, it's very important. I came all the way from Port-Charles to see her.
Woman: (hesitated for a moment while she looked Lucky over) All right, wait right here, please.
The woman disappeared and came back with a piece of paper in her hand.
Woman: Here. These are Miss Sarah's friends addresses in Paris, and the hotel they are staying in. You better hurry. I can't bear to see Miss Elizabeth so sad any more. And I bet you are the key to it.
Lucky held on to the piece of paper tightly, and thanked the woman before she closed the door. He had to find Liz. He would find her no matter how far he would have to travel to get to her. Thank god for Nikolas's jet, he thought.
The hotel Liz and Sarah were staying at was on Avenue de Tourville which was probably how the hotel got it's name: Hotel Le Tourville. Their suite was elegantly decorated with some excellent copies of the famous art in The Musee d' Art Moderne---the museum of the modern art. Sarah was calling her friends before she even put her bags down. Liz took her bags into her room, and sat down on the beautiful four poster bed. A week in Paris. It should feel like paradise, but it didn't. Liz sighed and lay down on the bed staring at the ceiling through the thin lace canopy. She was going to have to try harder. Sarah poked her head in and then walked in the room.
Sarah: I'm going over to Elisa's house right now to meet everyone there, you want to come with me? Or are you a little tired?
Liz: You go ahead, I think I'll just stay here and get settled in first.
Sarah: Are you sure? You can come with me if you like.
Liz: No, it's all right, Sarah. I'll be OK.
Sarah hesitated for a moment, and nodded her head, left the room. Liz stayed on the bed for a while, got up and went over to the window. She could see the Seine, and smiled. She was going to get out and meet Paris. She was going to try and have fun no matter how hard it might be. There has got to be a way that would make her forget her trouble for a few minutes, she was in Paris! She had wanted to come here since she was 8 years old! Liz grabbed her purse, and the room key Sarah left her on the living room table, and walked out of the room.
It took her about 10 minutes before she finally understood the direction the bell boy was giving her. She wanted to take the boat trip down Seine. It didn't sound far, so she decided to walk. August was considered low season for tourists in Paris though Liz wouldn't know the difference anyway. There were people everywhere. She strolled down La Tour-Maubourg, and smiled when she found herself walking along side Seine. And then there he was.
The one she dreamed about night and day.
Lucky Spencer was standing a few feet in front of her.
She thought she was dreaming again until Lucky walked up and stopped right in front of her. She hadn't seen him in almost a month and a half now, and her tears welled up quickly when she saw those blue eyes.
Lucky: Hi.
Liz couldn't find her voice. She started to run, away from Lucky. She missed him, but she wasn't ready to see him. She didn't know that until this moment. She wasn't sure why Lucky was here in Paris or how he'd found her, she just wasn't ready to face him yet. She didn't want to hear him say those cruel words again.
"I'm not sure if it shouldn't stop"
Lucky chased after her while the other people walking along the Seine watched with little curiosity. They were probably used to the drama that went on around here everyday. Lucky and Liz were both thankful for that. Liz turned around and saw that Lucky was closing in on her, she tried to speed up. And that's when she ran straight into someone. She nearly fell if weren't for the strong arms that held on to her. She lifted her head and was about to say thank you when she saw the man's face, and she once again was speechless. It was the young man she'd seen on the little boat on Serpentine Lake. What was he doing here?
Man: Are you all right, Miss?
He had French accent, Liz thought. Then he probably didn't live in Knightbridges as she had thought that morning. What was he doing there? Was he visiting someone there? Before she could think of a word to say, Lucky had caught up with them.
Lucky: Elizabeth, please, I have to talk to you!
Liz looked at Lucky and shook her head vigorously.
Liz: I can't, Lucky. I can't talk to you just yet. Please, not yet.
Lucky: Elizabeth, I came here to tell you that.......................
The young man that was still holding on to Liz's arm stood between her and Lucky before Lucky could finish his thoughts.
Man: Excuse me, but the lady said she can't talk to you yet. Could you just give her some time?
Lucky: With all due respect, it's none of your business, I need to talk to her.
Man: Ah, but she's here to meet me, could you respect her wish and give her some time first?
Lucky looked at the man, and was sure he was crazy. Liz was here to meet this guy? That can't be. He'd caught Sarah at the lobby and knew that Liz had decided to stay in the hotel. He was trying to calm himself down enough so he could go talk to Liz when he saw her got out of the elevator. He watched as she asked for directions from the bell boy, and followed her from afar, not sure how to approach her. Yet this guy here said Liz was here to meet him??
Lucky: Elizabeth, it's not true, is it?
Liz looked from one man to the other. She wasn't sure why the man had told Lucky that, but she needed time. She simply couldn't talk to Lucky right now. She would only cry her heart out.
Liz: Lucky, please, I'll talk to you later on. Please, I need a little time.
Lucky stared at Liz for a few moments, and looked down at the tip of his shoes.
Lucky: All right. I'll see you back in your hotel tonight.
Lucky turned and walked away. Liz closed her eyes, and put her face in her hands. The man was just watching her with concern.
Man: Are you all right? Miss? Would you like to sit down?
Liz: I'm all right. Thank you.
Liz looked up at the sky, and back to the man.
Liz: Why are you here? Who are you?
The man motioned to the chair by the river, and Liz walked over and sat down on it with him, keeping some distance from him.
Man: I was hoping to run into you again. This is fate.
Liz: Excuse me?
Man: I've been noticing you in the Hyde park for some time.
There was that beautiful smile again.
Liz: You followed me here?
Man: Oh, no. I wouldn't have called it fate if I had followed you. I just got back this afternoon. I was just out for a walk, and there you were.
Liz: Why.....did you hope to see me again?
Man: I wanted very much to know why you are so sad. And I think I just met the reason for it, didn't I?
Liz stared at him, and the next thing she knew, she was sobbing.
Liz: I missed him....I still love him..but I can't bear to hear what he has to say again. What am I going to do? What am I going to do now that he's here?
The man moved a bit closer to Liz and put his hand on her shoulder. Liz was surprised that she didn't flinch at the contact.
Man: Maybe he has something different to say this time. He did come all the way here to find you.
Liz looked up at him, and thought about his words for a second.
Liz: He did.....didn't he? But, I still......I'm scared. He broke my heart last time we talked. He didn't want me anymore. How would I know it won't happen again even if he changed his mind this time? I don't think I can live through another heartbreak like that. I can't.
Man: You still love him very much.
Liz: Yes.....how could I not love him? He was everything I ever wanted in a friend, a lover. He was someone I could see myself grow old with. He was someone who understood me. He was.....everything.
Man: Then why don't you give him a chance to explain himself? I don't know what he said to you last time, but I can see he still cared about you very much. Do you think you could let him say what he came all the way here to say before you shut him out?
Liz gazed out to the Seine River. The lights were starting to come on, and the reflection on the river was simply stunning. She still loved Lucky. That much she knew. She also knew that Lucky came all the way here to tell her something. She thought about their conversation in the school hall way. She hadn't allowed herself to think about it because she would just feel that gut-wrenching pain again. What exactly did Lucky say? He'd asked her why she chose someone like him. He'd asked her......if it could have been anyone............Liz started to tremble. What did he mean by that? Could it have been just anyone? Did it have to be him? Liz covered her mouth unconsciously. Oh, god. Did he mean what she thinks he meant? Did he think she was with him only because he was there with her throughout the mess her life had became after the rape? Liz searched her memory for everything else Lucky had said that day. He'd said something about if he wasn't there she might have found someone better. At the time she thought he was saying that thinking he was being nice because he didn't want to be with her anymore. Maybe she was wrong about that? Was Lucky simply insecure because he thought she had fallen in love with him not for love but simply for the habit of having him around? Liz stood up abruptly.
Liz: I have to go. I have to ask him what he meant by that. I have to go find him.
The man simply nodded.
Man: You know how to get back to where you came from?
Liz: Yes, I do...........thank you, thank you..........
He smiled. Liz picked up her feet and started to run, then remembered that she never asked for the man's name. She turned around, and he was nowhere in sight. She stood there confused for one second, then started running for her hotel.
She couldn't find Lucky anywhere in the hotel, and she hadn't seen him on her way back there. Didn't he say that he was going to be waiting for her in the hotel? Did he have a room there? She checked with the front desk and knew that Lucky didn't have a room in the hotel. She went back to her room, closed the door and leaned back against the heavy frame. Had he decided not to wait? No, it can't be. Not when she was finally ready to ask him why he said what he said. And why they let each other go in the first place. She'd thought she was doing the right thing by setting him free. What if she was wrong? What if they were both wrong? She felt the tears in her eyes again.
Someone knocked on the door.
She jumped, and turned to open the door quickly. The roses were the only thing she could see in front of her. Finally they moved slowly to the side, revealing the face behind them. Those blue eyes were looking right at her.
Lucky: I hope you like roses.
Liz: I do.......I've been looking for you.
Lucky: So have I. And I was so stupid to have let you go after I've found you.
Liz's eyes grew big at his words. What was that he just said?
Lucky: Elizabeth Webber, would you please give me another chance to show you how much I love you?
For the third time that day, Liz lost the ability to speak. Did he just say that he loved her? Was she imagining it because that's what she wanted to hear? Lucky handed her the roses, and stepped closer to her. She swallowed hard, and stepped back.
Lucky: May I come in?
Liz nodded. Lucky closed the door behind him when they were both inside of the room.
Lucky: Elizabeth, I'm sorry.
Liz stared at Lucky. He was trying to blink back the tears.
Liz: Lucky............
Lucky: I was afraid of loosing you if you discovered that you were with me only because I was the one going through that year with you. I was afraid of loosing you and the idiot that I was, I pushed you away. I know I've hurt you, I know you shouldn't forgive me for my stupidity. I just want to ask yo for another chance to prove to you that you are the only I'll ever want in my life. I don't care why you fell in love with me. I just want to be with you. Elizabeth. I Love you.
Liz felt the hot tears on her cheeks, her voice choking.
Liz: How could....how could you? Lucky? How could you doubt my love for you? I thought you were the only one that understood me completely. I thought you knew how much I love you. It wasn't just because you were there after the rape. I love you because you are kind and sweet, and not just to me. I love you because you are a kindred spirit. I love you because when I look into your eyes, I see my soul. I love you because when we are together, it felt right. I love you because I could see myself grow old and ugly with you. I love you because you are so damn stubborn sometimes that it makes me so mad! I love you because your kiss always makes my head dizzy. I love you because every minute with you is heaven on earth. I love you because you are what I want. I love you because there isn't anyone else on earth I'd rather be with. How could you not know it? How?
Liz sinked down on the chair behind her, dropped the roses on the floor, and buried her face in her hands. Lucky squatted down in front of her, and held her in his arms, sobbing himself.
Lucky: Elizabeth, I was a fool. I should never have talked myself into believing the stupid idea in my head. I was afraid you'd leave me if someday you remembered you don't need me anymore. I was afraid because I realized how much I need you. And I'll probably always need you. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm not good with words, and I've never loved anyone like this in my life. I just know I can't loose you. Please tell me what I can do to make you believe that I love you. I'll do anything. Anything, Elizabeth.
They stayed in each other's arms for a long time. When the sobbing gradually quieted down, Liz pulled away slightly, and looked into Lucky's eyes.
Lucky: Elizabeth..................
Liz: Just shut up and kiss me, you fool.
Lucky didn't need any more encouragement than those words. He covered Liz's soft, warm lips with his own, and he took. Liz felt her hair spilling down her back upon Lucky's fingers released the ribbon, and the feeling of Lucky's body pressing against her was making her heart beat like a wild horse sprinting out in the open field. How she'd missed Lucky's kiss. Lucky's touch. Her pulse was hammering everywhere inside of her. The kiss turned ravenous quickly, their tongues entangled, their teeth nibbled, their hands desperately exploring. Without her realizing it, Liz pulled Lucky's shirt free of the waistband of his jeans, her hands found the flesh underneath, and she let her hands wandered on his chest with no hesitation. Lucky took in a sharp breath when he felt Liz's cold hands on his warm chest. He thought he was going to stop breathing, and it wasn't because of the sudden contact with coldness. He stopped the kiss. Their eyes locked.
Lucky: Elizabeth..................
Liz: I want to feel you, Lucky. Please don't say no.
Lucky: Baby, we.........
Liz put a finger on Lucky's lips.
Liz: Lucky, if nothing else, I've learned that you are the only one I'll ever want to be with even when I thought you didn't want me. I just want to feel you, I just want you to feel me. I want to know that you are really here. We are really here, together. Please....................
Lucky: Oh, God. Elizabeth, I want to feel you, I do.
Liz: Then feel me, Lucky. I want you to. It's no conflict with what we talked about on the beach, is it?
Lucky drew in another sharp breath. His voice shaken.
Lucky: I love you, Elizabeth.
Liz: I know.
Liz leaned in and took Lucky's mouth with her own. Her hands were under Lucky's shirt once again, stroking the muscles she'd long to feel. She felt herself being lift off the chair she was on, she didn't care. She pointed the way with one hand while her the other busied with the buttons on Lucky's shirt. She loosened the first one....then, the second...then, the third............
"In your eyes" By Peter Gabriel
Love
I get so lost
Sometimes days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are
All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade
So soon will burn
Without a noise
Without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes
The light the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
In your eyes
The resolution of all fruitless searches
In your eyes
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see
In your eyes
I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive
And all my instincts, they return
And the grand facade
So soon will burn
Without a noise
Without my pride
I reach out from the inside
TO BE CONTINUED...............................................