Welcome to the Hellmouth

(Interesting Quotes courtesy of http://www.swlink.net/~casper/buffy.htm)

Joyce: Try not to get kicked out? (talking about school)

Xander: Yeah. You know, I kinda had a problem with the math.
Willow: Uh, which part?
Xander: The math.

Buffy: Mr. Flutie...
Mr. Flutie: All the kids here are free to call me Bob.
Buffy: Bob...
Mr. Flutie: But they don't.
Buffy: I know my transcripts are a little... colorful.
Mr. Flutie: Hey... We're not caring about that. Do you think, uh, 'colorful' is the word? Not, uh, 'dismal'?
Buffy: It wasn't *that* bad!
Mr. Flutie: You burned down the gym.

Xander: Can I have you?
Xander: Duh…Can I help you?

Xander: We both go to school. Very suave. Very not pathetic.

Xander: Oh, me and Buffy go waaay back, old friends, very close. Then there's that period of estrangement where I think we were both growing as people, but now here we are, like old times, I'm quite moved.
Jesse: Is it me, or are you turning into a bibbling idiot?
Xander: No, it's, uh, it's not you.

Xander: And to return this. (holds up the stake) The only thing I can think is that you're building a really little fence.

Cordelia: Some guy was stuffed in Aura's locker!
Buffy: Dead.
Cordelia: Totally dead. Way dead.
Xander: It's not just a little dead, dead.

Buffy: 'Cause, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck, and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, ooo?
Giles: I was afraid of this.
Buffy: Well, I wasn't! It's my first day! I was afraid that I was gonna be behind in all my classes, that I wouldn't make any friends, that I would have last month's hair. I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus.

Buffy: To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing.

Giles: Like zombies, werewolves, incubi, succubi, everything you've ever dreaded was under your bed, but told yourself couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real!
Buffy: What? You, like, sent away for the Time-Life series?

Giles: Something's coming, something, something... something is, is gonna happen here. Soon!
Buffy: Gee, can you vague that up for me?

Buffy: Yeah, I'm goin' to a club.
Joyce: Oh. Will there be boys there?
Buffy: No, mom. It's a nun club.

Buffy: It is. From now on I am only going to hang out with the living. I mean, lively. People.

Buffy: What do you want?
Angel: The same thing you do.
Buffy: Okay. What do I want?
Angel: To kill them. To kill them all.
Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. What I want is to be left alone!

Angel: Let's just say... I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

Willow: I-I-I don't actually date a whole lot... lately.
Buffy: Why not?
Willow: Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool, or, or witty, or at all. I-I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away.
Buffy: It's not that bad!
Willow: No, i-it is. I think boys are more interested in a girl who can talk.
Buffy: You really *haven't* been dating lately.

Buffy: There's one. (when Giles asked her to spot a vampire)
Giles: W-where?
Buffy: Right there, talking to that girl.
Giles: You don't know...
Buffy: Oh, please! Look at his jacket. He's got the sleeves rolled up, and the shirt! Deal with that outfit for a moment.
Giles: It's dated?
Buffy: It's carbon dated. Trust me, only someone living underground for ten years would think that was still the look.
Giles: But you didn't... hone.

Giles: The vampire is not dead?
Buffy: No, but my social life is on the critical list.

Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way, or... well, actually there's just the hard way.