Mummy, if I had known it would be this hard to live without you, perhaps I would have prayed harder and fasted longer...
If I had known you were really leaving us, maybe I would have held your hand tighter, hugged you closer and said "I love you" much louder...
Time has not eased the pain of losing you, it has only made me more aware of what it means not to have you.
Some have said to me, "it's ok -- your mummy is with you in spirit." But honestly, it isn't okay, because your spirit doesn't answer when I call, or dry my tears when they fall...
Nothing is the same without you -- not birthdays, not Christmas, not even trips to Lagos. The joy in these things is diminished because of your absence.
You were more than a great mother, you were an irreplaceable icon, and words cannot even begin to express how much I miss you, every minute of every hour of every day.
Still I trust that God knows best and I am comforted because I know that you're with Him now. There's no better place to be.

I love you. Rest in peace.

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April 2nd, 2001

Mummy,
Has it really been three years? Time flies, and still it moves ever so slowly. I wonder why the void caused by your departure feels more profound this year than ever before. Perhaps because as time passes, I am slowly coming to grips with the fact that you really are gone for good. I miss you so terribly. At this moment, I think I would give my right arm, even my very breath, just to hear you speak to me one more time…

I wonder if remembering you is always going to be this painful. At the same time, I worry that I will one day become numb to the memory of you… This is the dilemma of a child who lost her Mother far too early. To hold on, to move on, or perhaps to remain in this place? Somehow I can hear you saying to me: "Embrace life, make new memories….but cherish the old ones."

And now it occurs to me that you’re still very much here. Your love, your wisdom, your goodness – those things did not die. They live on in me, and I will teach them to my children, so that they too will know you.

See you in my dreams. Always.