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"Send in the clowns...' Yeah, right. And die laughing. The fact is, this clown is a demon. He just doesn't walk around looking like one. Maybe 'cause I don't want to, that's why.'
"See, it's like this. There was once this demon, devoted to beloved boss. And this demon's job was making his master's layabout Hellspawns into razor-sharp fighting machines. The problem is, they're humans, or were, and humans are pathetic. They're not fit to wear the uniform, but I gotta go along with it, orders are orders."
"So, anyway, what did I, er, this demon do, but force these saps into using their powers, expending energy. Most of 'em don't need to be pushed, but some, well, you can lead a horse to water but you can't always drown 'em. Some Hellspawn need learning and that's where this demon comes in big time."
"Well, let me tell you, the job stinks. After thousands of years and dozens of Hellspawns, a demon can only take so much. They always manage to wriggle off the hook, or get konked by some angel bitch, or just plain refuse to budge. A miserable gig."
"Nah, they've never kicked his butt. I mean, this demon's bad. So, along comes the Master's new favorite and by now, well, the demon's about had it 'cause he knows he can do a better job. But no, the Master says make this guy into some kind of evil fearless leader. No prob. The demon figures he'll push him here, shove him there and the guy'll fall into line. Does he? No way! So, the demon rips his heart out, but the Spawn is still kicking, so the demon gets real pissed and lays into him. And then, the Master says "Bad doggy!" and whips the demon's butt just for doing his job. So, now the demon's stuck being a clown, 'cause he can't change back."
"But this demon's smart. There's more than one way to disembowel a kitty, right? So he decides to screw up everything the Hellspawn cares about. He goes after the guy's ex-family, 'ex' 'cause he's dead, right?, and figures the guy'll cave. That or the Master'll figure out that he should use demons, not these worthless humans, for his officers. So, the demon clown goes to it, ruining the new Spawn's old life so he'll finally get on with it and do some evil, or die trying. And it's worked 'til this very day."
"Okay, so the tale has to have a moral, right? Hah! How about 'humans are stupid'? No? How about in the end, everybody gets what they deserve'? Works for me. Now hand over those fries." |
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