TITLE: FIND THE TRUTH.

AUTHOR: Triton

(Sure, Fine, Whatever!)

Email: triton-x@yahoo.com

or visit my little library at: http://geocities.datacellar.net/triton-x/Fanfic

DATE: January 4th, 2000

DISCLAIMER: X-Files, Mulder, Scully and all related characters belong to that amazing person called Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions and the Fox Network. I mean no infringement. I am just borrowing the characters briefly to satisfy a selfish desire to deceive, inveigle and obfuscate. CC can have them back anytime he likes (well, only if he tells us the truth first!).

CATEGORY: MSR themes.

RATING: PG-13

SPOILERS: None

ARCHIVE: I have NO idea about this - so please just ask me. Thank You.

NOTE: This story is a result of the following challenge set out by Jill at ScullyFic:

"Your writing challenge is to compose a love letter from one XF character to another (any characters you choose). It can be whimsical or sweet or angsty -- whatever you'd like -- but your goal should be to make the letter sound as in-character as you can."

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When this notion first crossed my mind I felt foolish, and chastised myself for even contemplating it. But tonight, as I drove the solitary distance from Mulder’s apartment to my own, I came to realise an important point. An epiphany of sorts.

There have been many times when I have wondered what I would say to you if we were to ever met face to face. I have also wondered whether we will ever meet.

I do hope so, and not only because it is desired by someone who is important to me. I have heard so much about you, and have seen the ramifications of your absence on the one person who has come to mean more to me than any other human being. I crave to physically encounter the persona who has ignited this unfaltering persistence and faith of discovery in the complicated man I call my friend.

I have decided to write this letter to you because it is quite possible that you may never have the opportunity to meet the wonderful person that is your brother. His quest has, yet again, taken him close to the brink of death, and although I hope dearly it will never happen, I am sure that his reckless perseverance will eventually lead to his ultimate end.

My heart beats slowly tonight. I have also wiped a few tears from my eyes and hope you forgive the occasional blurred word where a wayward salty droplet has fallen. I am weary of fighting the demons, but it has become my quest also as I strive to bring meaning to all that has been lost.

Once upon a time there was a young boy who loved his sister dearly. One day she disappeared, and he was devastated by the loss. He searched for her over the course of many years, at first innocently, and then with an increasing fervour. A reputation of unrest, distrust and haunted beliefs followed in his wake. His passion for discovering the truth overwhelmed his existence until he could only focus on the search.

When I first met your brother, he was heading down a lonely dangerous path of destruction. So encompassing was his quest that as I willingly followed him, I almost became devoured myself. Through this struggle, he reached for me and I reached for him, and we held each other afloat. We have survived only because we had the intermingled strengths of both our beliefs.

If you ever do resurface, I would like you to read this letter and know something about your brother, that for all his loneliness, there was one person who did love him wholly. For I am sure that no one else could admit the same.

Your mother was unable to know his mind nor understand his motives, and through the many circumstances that entwined their lives, he was isolated emotionally from her.

His peers judged him harshly by his methodology and alternative beliefs. Sadly, it was simply that they were unable to see the truth from the same perspective as he.

His Superiors shared disdain for his achievements and offered censure.

Walter Skinner, if available, will no doubt provide a high level of praise for Mulder’s accomplishments, and will bore you with tales of loyalty, honour and dedication. But you may find these tales meaningless.

I would like to tell you of his soul.

Mulder cares deeply. About people. About individual rights. About the disadvantaged. He looks out for those he loves. He tries to protect the unprotected.

He feels deeply. His heart breaks a little more each day as he is reminded of each loss we have experienced and of those we will probably experience in the future.

He loves deeply. He shows this in many small ways. Whether it is revealed in a gentle touch, or a shared joke, or a reassuring smile, he unwittingly declares his affection like a neon indicator. He is also incapable of accepting unconditional love from others.

He is in essence a curious enigma. He embraces challenges constantly, unyieldingly, unerringly. He never gives up.

My intention is not to speak on behalf of your brother, as I hope desperately that he can tell you these things himself, but I fear he will be too modest to clearly relate the full repertoire of his virtue.

I have loved your brother for a long time. The intensity of my devotion towards him often leaves me breathless. I have basked in the surety that he also loves me in return, and knowing that he loves me has held me together through my own personal losses and heartaches. I yearn for him at times, wishing that our quest could abate long enough for us to satisfy our mutual needs, but I also hold realistic expectations and understand this may never happen.

As of yet, we have not indulged ourselves intimately, and neither of us can give a clear reason as to why this should be, except that something has always held us back, some ominous sense of apprehension has blocked the fulfilment of our desires.

I hold some optimism that, for Mulder’s sake, there is a reconciliation between sister and brother. I also carry the hope that I will be present to witness this momentous occasion.

Time is running out for both Mulder and I. I cannot confess to optimism over the distance this journey will take us, and fear that we are nearing the finale of our investigative pursuits.

I will be placing this letter into a safety deposit box with clear instructions that it be delivered to you in the event that I am unable to do so myself. I have not mentioned it’s existence to anyone, but I too hold faith in Mulder’s truths.

All he wanted was to find the truth.

Yours Lovingly,

Dana Katherine Scully,

Partner to Special Agent Fox Mulder.

END.