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�� The setting is middle Anglo-Saxon home in London. The date is December 31,999 AD. There is a door and window, stage right, a table and four chairs stage left, and a bench center stage. Elizabeth, in her mid-forties, is sitting on the bench, intent on her embroidery. Her daughter, Catherine, eighteen, is sitting at Elizabeth�s feet, clearly upset.

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CATHERINE: I don�t understand how you can sit there so calmly, Mother.

ELIZABETH: What are you talking about, dear?

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CATHERINE: Didn�t you read the Raphael report this morning?

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ELIZABETH: You know that I don�t have time for that nonsense, dear. Besides, I�m trying to finish this tapestry in time for your sister�s birthday.

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CATHERINE: It�s not nonsense, Mother. You should be more concerned about what�s going to happen tomorrow and less concerned about that stupid tapestry.

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ELIZABETH: Tomorrow?

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CATHERINE: You can�t honestly tell me that you don�t know what�s going to happen tomorrow.

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ELIZABETH: Oh... you mean New Year�s Eve.

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CATHERINE: No mother, where have you been? Today is New Years Eve! I�m talking about tomorrow, the first day of the year 1000. Do you hear me mother, 1000 years from when Jesus Christ rose to heaven, the end of the millennium and the beginning of the apocalypse; the great battle between God and the Anti-Christ that will destroy the Earth! (Beat. Catherine stares at her mother.) How can you sew at a time like this, the Heavens and the Earth will be consumed before you can finish that tapestry.

ELIZABETH: Oh, honey, it won�t be the end. It will just be another day.

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CATHERINE: How can you say that? If you had just read the Raphael report this morning, you would know what the Prophets and Priests are predicting. Worldwide panic!

(Henry, Elizabeth�s husband and Catherine�s Father enters.)

HENRY: Hello, my darlings. (He kisses Elizabeth and sits down with her on the bench.) What are you two discussing so intently?

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ELIZABETH: I don�t know dear... something about a Priest panicking.

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CATHERINE: (Rises to her feet) Mother! Can you please put down that tapestry and listen to me. This is serious!

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HENRY: (Rises to his feet) Please don�t yell at your Mother, Catherine. Now, why don�t you tell me what�s gotten you so upset?

CATHERINE: Father, aren�t you worried about what�s going to happen the first day of the new millennium?

HENRY: What�s to worry about? It will just be a day like any other day.

CATHERINE: Are you saying that you know more than the Prophets and Priests? Besides, you�re a stonemason for God�s sake; you should be more concerned.

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ELIZABETH: (Looks up at Catherine, but is still working on her tapestry) Please don�t take the Lord�s name in vane, dear.

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CATHERINE: I�m sorry, mother. But I just can�t understand how you and Father can be so calm about this. We�re looking at the end of civilization, as we know it. I don�t know who�s going to get us first, the Anti-Christ or the Vikings. Plus the change from a three-digit to a four-digit year is going to throw everything into chaos. You of all people, Father, should at least be concerned about that, seeing as how it will cause you extra work. I hope you�ve asked for a raise.

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HENRY: If all of the stonemasons and scribes asked for a pay increase at the same time, dear, it would throw the economy into chaos.

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CATHERINE: THAT�S WHAT I�VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU! WORLDWIDE CHAOS!

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ELIZABETH: (Stands up) Calm down dear. Why don�t you let me make you a nice cup of tea?

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CATHERINE: Aaarrgh!!!!!

ELIZABETH: Hot chocolate?

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(James, Henry & Catherine�s son and Elizabeth�s younger brother enters.)

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JAMES: Did I hear someone mention hot chocolate?

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CATHERINE: Is that all you can think about at a time like this? Your stomach?

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ELIZABETH: (Approaches Catherine) Now, now, dear, your brother�s a growing boy. Besides, don�t take it out on him just because you�re mad at me.

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CATHERINE: (Turns her back on Elizabeth and walks to window and stares out) I�m not mad at you,

Mother. I just wish you and Father were more concerned. This affects all of us, you know.

JAMES: What affects all of us? Were you having a family meeting without me?

HENRY: No son, your sister�s just been reading that Raphael report again.

JAMES: Oh? And what was the subject his time? Cross-dressing priests, or Cantor�s that can�t chant? Oh, no, let me guess.... the coming of the Anti-Christ.

CATHERINE: Go ahead and make jokes. It doesn�t matter. We�ll all be dead by this time tomorrow, anyway.

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ELIZABETH: Oh, dear, don�t exaggerate. The only effect the new century is going to have on us is that maybe your Father will have to work a few extra hours. That�s all.

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CATHERINE: It�s obvious that you don�t know what you�re talking about, Mother. But what can I expect from someone who�s just a Housewife?

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JAMES: Don�t talk to mother like that!

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CATHERINE: Mind your own business!

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HENRY: James is right, young lady! You shouldn�t talk to your Mother like that! Just because you�re eighteen now doesn�t mean that I can�t punish you. How would you like to walk to the market tomorrow?

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CATHERINE: You wouldn�t?

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HENRY: Try me.

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CATHERINE: But that horse was a present from Grandfather.

HENRY: That doesn�t mean I can�t take it away from you. Your Grandfather spoils you, anyway.

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JAMES: Amen to that!

ELIZABETH: (Angry) I�ll handle this, Henry!

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HENRY: (Hurtfully) Sorry, dear, I was just trying to help. (Sits down)

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ELIZABETH: (Confronts Catherine � pulls her away from the window) Don�t you dare call me �just a housewife� again! Do you understand?

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CATHERINE: (Under her breath) Oh no, here comes the speech�.

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ELIZABETH: What was that?

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CATHERINE: Nothing, mother.

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ELIZABETH: Listen up, young lady! You may think that I�m your personal slave, that I�m here just for you, to wash you clothes, clean you room, and take care of your menagerie of stray animals. But I had a life once, you know. I happened to have taken lessons from Brother Sterling when I was younger. He was a philosophical giant in his time, and I was one of his brightest students. I could have gone on to be a great philosopher, but, instead, I chose to marry your father. So don�t you dare talk down to me. I know what�s going on in the world around us. I still keep in touch. And I happen to know that the only change tomorrow is going to bring is, like I said before, a little extra work for your father. You should be ashamed of yourself for all the fuss you�re making!

JAMES: (To Catherine) Yeah, you should be ashamed! (Mad at her for upsetting Elizabeth)

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HENRY: Stay out of this, James.

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JAMES: Sorry, Father. I just don�t like seeing Mother so upset. (Walks over to Elizabeth and hugs her) I love you, Mother... uh, what�s for dinner?

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CATHERINE: There he goes again. Is that all you ever think about is food?

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JAMES: At least I don�t get all freaked out over some dumb so-called prophet. If you want to know what the future holds, why don�t you try reading the Holy Scriptures?

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ELIZABETH: That�s the first sensible thing anyone�s said all night.

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HENRY: Hey!

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ELIZABETH: (Pats Henry�s cheek) I didn�t mean you, dear.

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CATHERINE: Why don�t you just come right out and say it? You all think I�m a doomsayer.

ELIZABETH: I wouldn�t quite go that far dear, but you do tend to get caught up in your causes.

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CATHERINE: My causes?

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ELIZABETH: Yes. (To Henry) What was it last week, dear?

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HENRY: I believe it was the supposed mistreatment of horses.

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JAMES: And the week before that she was at the local Abbey, trying to get the Sisters to stand up for their rights.

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ELIZABETH: Oh my!

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CATHERINE: (In James�s face) Snitch!

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JAMES: Doomsayer!

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HENRY: (Separates the two) That�s enough you two! Catherine, you help your Mother prepare supper. And James, you can help me clean out the stable.

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CATHERINE: But what about the new millennium? Aren�t any of you the least bit worried?

ELIZABETH: Trust in the Lord, dear.

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CATHERINE: That�s your answer to everything!

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HENRY: Your mother knows what she�s talking about. Besides, King Aethelred will protect us.

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CATHERINE: All right, already! But don�t say I didn�t warn you.

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ELIZABETH: I wouldn�t dare, dear.

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(Henry and James leave. Elizabeth and Catherine begin to prepare supper. There is a knock at the door.)

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ELIZABETH: Answer the door, Catherine.

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CATHERINE: But I thought you wanted me to help with supper!

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ELIZABETH: Can�t I ask you to do anything without you arguing about it? Need I remind you what the Holy Scriptures say about honoring your Mother and Father?

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CATHERINE: Why do you always have to bring the Holy Scriptures into it?

ELIZABETH: Because that�s my job. Now answer the door!

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(Catherine stomps to the door, clearly unpleased. She opens the door, and the Postman is standing there.)

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POSTMAN: Mail for you, Miss.

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CATHERINE: Thank you.

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POSTMAN: (Hands mail to Catherine) Happy New Year to you, Miss.

(He leaves and Catherine shuts the door.)

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ELIZABETH: Who was at the door?

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CATHERINE: It was the Postman. There�s a letter for you.

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ELIZABETH: (Excited) Oh my! Let me see!

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(Catherine begrudgingly hands letter to Elizabeth. Elizabeth opens and reads the letter.)

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CATHERINE: Who�s it from?

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ELIZABETH: It�s from your Grandmother. (She reads letter out loud)

Dear Daughter: Father and I wish you a glorious New Year. We would like to be there to help you ring in 1000, but the Vikings are getting too close for comfort and we wanted to stay here to protect our land. King Aethelred has promised to send his troops, but so far nothing. Oh well, God will protect us, both against the Vikings and the Anti-Christ if he should come this next millennium, as prophesied. Father wants to know if Catherine is enjoying her new horse. Hope Henry is treating you well, my precious, and is not working you too hard. What are stonemasons wages nowadays, anyway? You are not too prideful to ask for help if you need it, are you? Oh my! I must end this letter now, as the Towncryer has just announced that the Vikings have reached the outskirts of the village. Don�t worry about us, dear; God will protect us. Hope to see you soon.

Love,

Your Mother

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ELIZABETH: (In reaction to the letter) Well! The Vikings! Please don�t say �I told you so�, Catherine.

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CATHERINE: I wouldn�t dare. Besides I won�t need to. Something will happen at the moment of the new millennium. You will see.

ELIZABETH: Oh nothing will happen, in fact we won�t even know what time it is. Remember, father�s stardial does not work on cloudy nights.

(Elizabeth and Catherine resume cooking dinner)

(Transition from daytime to nighttime. Stage lights down)

(Elizabeth and James are playing a game of checkers with the game set so James is about to win. Up soft lights and candles come on.)

CATHERINE: (Is obviously quite displeased with the way everyone is ignoring her and the impending doom she is sure of.)

ELIZABETH: James I remember when all you wanted was to beat me in a game of checkers, now I can�t win a single game.

JAMES: Oh mother, you taught me everything I know. I am sure you are just having some bad luck.

ELIZABETH: Henry, isn�t James a clever and gracious young man?

HENRY: He has always been very good about helping around the house without a lot of� talking back. Perhaps he can give obedience lessons to the rest of the family.

(Elizabeth spends a moment contemplating her next move.)

ELIZABETH: He is busy right now giving me a checkers lesson.

(After a moment Elizabeth goes to make a move on the checkerboard but pulls back confused about her next move. All cast members focus on Elizabeth.)

(All candles and lights go out.)

CATHERINE: Oh no, its happening! The Devil is striking the whole Earth into darkness. What do you all have to say now? I recommend that all of you get on your hands and knees and pray for deliverance like the Raphael report said to do. Mother I told you to buy the candles that had been blessed by the priests to withstand the powers of the Devil. But no, you would not listen. What do you have to say now?

ELIZABETH: Ben the candlestick maker told me the candles the priests were selling are the same as his; that it was a ploy for the priests to make money from the fear griping everyone. I am sure there is an explanation; Ben has always been so honest and nice.

CATHERINE: I will give you an explanation, we are now in the year 1000, we have crossed the great threshold of time and the Earth is coming under the powers of the Heavens. How do you like that explanation mother?

HENRY: Doesn�t anyone feel the cold draft in here? James, go and see if the front door blew open again.

JAMES: Yep, there is a howling wind outside blew the door wide open. I got it shut tight so lets light these candles. Catherine, would you like to light the candles, or has the Devil turned the candlesticks to pillars of stone.

CATHERINE: Shut up.

(While James is lighting the candles, Elizabeth moves the checker pieces to her advantage. When James finishes lighting the candles, he walks over to Catherine to taunt her.)

JAMES: What�s wrong sis? Feeling foolish again? Like when you were sure you could read messages in the smoke of incense or when�

CATHERINE: Leave me alone! Everybody just leave me alone. No one understands me. Maybe I was born at the wrong time. I wish I were born in the twentieth century. The year 2000, that�s the appointed time. That�s when the world will crash into chaos, when�

ELIZABETH: All right you two knock it off before I create an apocalypse on both your rear ends with your father�s belt.

JAMES: Yes mother. (Beat) Hey we still need to finish our checkers game. (James sits down to finish the game. Scratches his head trying to understand what happened to the game he was about to win.)

THE END

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Historical note: From 1003 to 1006, and again in 1013, King Swein of Denmark led devastating attacks on England. And the Anti-Christ has yet to come.