Alcohol Warning Labels

Since product liability litigation is only expected to increase in the new millennium, beer manufacturers are considering using the FDA's suggestion that the following ten warning labels be placed on all beer containers produced in the United States during the year 2000:
 
1 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make
you think you are whispering when you are not.
 
2 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like an idiot.
 
3 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead
you to believe that ex-boyfriends/girlfriends are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in
the morning.

4 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
leave you wondering what in the world happened
to your pants.

5 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
make you think you can converse logically
with members of the opposite sex without
spitting.

6 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make
you think you have mystical kung-fu powers.

7 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
cause you to roll over in the morning and
see something really scary.

8 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the
leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the
forehead.
 
9 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter and more handsome than some really, really
big guy named Bubba.

10 - WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may
actually CAUSE pregnancy.