NOTE: This was a "Boston-themed" show and the whole audience was from that city.

David Letterman: Our first guest stars as Queen Amidala in a quiet little film that just opened up entitled Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Ladies and gentleman, here's Natalie Portman. Natalie...

[Natalie comes out, shakes Dave's hand and sits down.]

DL: Welcome back!

NP: Thank you.

DL: Natalie, how many times have you been on the show here?

NP: This is my...third time?

DL: Third or fourth time? Something like that.

NP: Yeah.

[Note: It's actually her fifth.]

DL: Yeah...over the course of a couple years. How old were you the first time you were on the show?

NP: Thirteen, maybe?

DL: Thirteen years old.

NP: I think so.

DL: And you're now what, just fifteen or so? Fifteen or sixteen, how old are you?

NP: [smiling] I'm almost eighteen!

DL: You--you're almost eighteen years old? Wowww...well, you still seem, well you are a kid at eighteen years old.

NP: Mmmhmm.

DL: How have you been?

NP: I've been wonderful.

DL: It's a big Boston show, I know you spent some time up there.

NP: Yeah, I was just in Boston over the weekend. [Audience cheers]

DL: What were you doing up there?

NP: I was visiting some friends. It was so great...We went to--[to the audience] We went to Herrell's for ice cream? Amazing. [Audience cheers] And uhm, and we went to Pinocchio's for pizza? It was wonderful. Loved it. [Audience cheers again]

DL: Ladies and gentleman, please hold your applause until she's mentioned every establishment in Boston! [Natalie laughs] And...you worked up there in a uhh...

NP: Yeah. I did, we opened 'Anne Frank' there.

DL: Uh huh.

NP: So I was there for about a month--

DL: That must have been great, don't you think? Wasn't it fun?

NP: It was, it was really wonderful. We stayed at--[laughing, turns to audience again] Swissotel? Which is, it's...the, the "hotel" part doesn't have an 'H'. So you're forced to become like, you know when Alex Trebek on Jeopardy, when all of a sudden, he says a French word and he'll be like, "Sacre bleu!", you know. So you have to say like, "I'm just coming from the Swissotel!" You know, there's no way you can say it without sounding stupid. [laughs]

DL: Well, it's very nice. It's very continental, don't you think?

NP: Yeah--very, very.

DL: And, and now, uhh...look at you, uhh, the first time you were here, what was the movie you were on the first time you were on the show?

NP: "The Professional", maybe? [Audience cheers]

DL: Yeah, something like that. And then, and now you're in like the Star Wars movie. Wow--

NP: I know...

DL: My God, how 'bout that?

NP: It's insane!

DL: Now, have you been to see the Star Wars movie?

NP: Three times!

DL: No, really? Has this changed your life? Taken it to a different level?

NP: A little. It--it's a little weird. You just become...EVERYWHERE pretty much. You're all over the place.

DL: And are you excited because you, you got the prom coming up?

NP: Yeah.

DL: Are you going to the prom?

NP: [smiling] Yes, I am.

DL: Now, who's the kid who's going to take a movie star to the prom?

NP: [squirms and acts shy] He...he's a friend of mine. [laughs]

DL: Really!

NP: [laughing]

DL: And is there a lot of pressure on the kid to take a movie star to the prom?

NP: No...we, we've known each other since we were like eleven years old or something.

DL: Uh huh.

NP: He's known me for a long time.

DL: Yeah.

NP: No problems.

DL: And...what kind of things will you do at the prom? [Audience laughs]

NP: [laughs, embarrassed] Dance?!

DL: And then that's it?

NP: Dance!

DL: Yeah?

NP: A lot!

DL: But then after the prom, do you have like the limo, you go out, you do stuff?

NP: Mmm---we got a Hummer limo.

DL: Ahh! The HUMMER! [Dave looks at the audience as everyone cheers and hoots] That's a nice ride!

NP: Sixteen person. It's gonna be...monster truck.

DL: Now, you have your driver's license right?

NP: I just got it last week. I made a promise to myself that I would get it before I was 18, and uhm, I kinda missed out cuz, during 'Anne Frank' I couldn't learn how to drive.

DL: Did you go to driver's ed?

NP: Yes I did.

DL: Is it a class in high school?

NP: It is, but I got cut...I, I was, left out cuz uhm...I, I didn't sign up early enough.

DL: I see.

NP: So I went to another driver's ed school.

DL: Right.

NP: And I had my test, and it was...[embarrassed] I screwed up a little.

DL: Screwed up on the driving part of it?

NP: [laugh] Yeah.

DL: Well, what did you screw up?

NP: Well, I don't know how, but, somehow, on my 3-point turn, I turned on...being the genius I am, the windshield wipers. [Audience laughs] So I'm like...I'm like, horizontally blocking the street. You know, from front to end. And uhm, uhm...it's not my car so I didn't know how to, it's the drivers ed car, so I'm like [holds hands in front of her] "Ohohohohoh..." You know, I didn't know what to do.

DL: Yeah.

NP: And so the, the woman finally had to do like, [gesturing] this is how you, you know, you turn it off. And I was like "Oh, thank you."

DL: Yeah, but you know, you gotta be thinking, at all times when stuff like that happens, you gotta use your head because it's not your car--

NP: Exactly.

DL: And the windshield wipers come on. You, you look at the woman and say, "What the hell IS this? Faulty wiring?!"

NP: [laughing]

DL: "How am I supposed to take the damn test, when you gotta problem with your circuit-breakers?!"

NP: [laugh] Exactly.

DL: Gotta be on the offensive. So they gave you the license anyway?

NP: Yeah, and also I--[pauses as Dave's implication sinks in. The audience laughs and Natalie looks embarrassed] And uhh, I had to make a left turn and I didn't wait for the oncoming traffic to pass? [makes a face to the audience and laughs]

DL: You know, I'll tell you, I'll tell you something, as you drive...this is the thing that has been driving me crazy since I had my license at 16.

NP: Mmmhmm.

DL: And I passed with flying colors. I'm an excellent driver, by the way--

NP: Okay. [Audience laugh]

DL: I've been cited for speeding several times, but I'm an excellent driver--

NP: Okay.

DL: And maybe you'd know this, maybe you don't know this, but it's the kind of thing you should know, and if you don't, you're gonna learn it here tonight. You come to, let's say it's a four-way stop...

NP: Okay.

DL: Four way stop.

NP: Right.

DL: Okay. Who has the right of way?

NP: The first person--

DL: 4..4...

NP: The first person that gets to the stop.

DL: Four cars waiting at a four way stop. Who has the right of way?

NP: The first one to the stop.

DL: Mmmhmm.

NP: And if you come at the same time, you have to give eye-contact, or--

DL: NO! You don't have to give EYE-CONTACT!

NP: [laughing]

DL: If you arrive at the same time, the car with the right of way is the car to the right.

NP: ...okay...[she seems to be thinking about what he's saying]

DL: The car to the right has the right of way.

NP: Yeah, but...you're in a circle, so...

DL: No, you're not in a circle, you're at a 4-way stop! [Dave looks at the audience like he's dealing with a dummy]

NP: Okay! You're in like a square, but still, whose right? Whose right goes first?

DL: Ahh, ahh...[laughs as he realizes she's correct] but no...alright, four cars stop at a cul-de-sac, is that better? [audience laughs] You're a car...I'm a car...

NP: [sits up and pretends to be a car] Okay.

DL: Okay look, we've arrived at the intersection simultaneously.

NP: Alright. I'm ready.

DL: Okay, who goes first?

NP: I do.

DL: That's right. Why?

NP: Because I'm to your right.

DL: That's right.

NP: But, question...[There's a game show "ping" sound indicating correct answer. Natalie laughs and looks over at the band, though the sound effect probably came from the control room]

NP: No, but, I wasn't...if four, if you're four cars...THEN who goes?

DL: It's--

NP: ...and they're all at the same time.

DL: It seems unlikely that four would arrive simultaneously...[Audience laugh] but it still then would be, it would be whoever was to the right of the last car who arrived--that arrived.

NP: [smiles and shrugs at the audience, like now she's just humoring him] Okay!

DL: Here, here's what you don't want to do: when you pull up to the intersection, and you, and you're unsure of what the law is, what the rule is, don't do this. [Gesturing frantically for cross traffic to go ahead. Audience laughter.]

DL: That indicates--

NP: That's so what I would do.

DL: Yeah, but no, that indicates that you don't know what the law is. It's the car to the right, or the car that arrived there first.

NP: Thank you.

DL: Well, you don't...[mumbling]

NP: [laughing]

DL: Oh hey! We have your license here...

NP: Yeah.

DL: Take a look at that.

NP: I'm very angry and pale in this.

DL: Yeah, well congratulations, it's uhh...[Close-up of the license. Audience laughs because she does look angry and pale.] You just got back from Japan?

NP: [excited] Yeah, I went to Japan with my Japanese class this year.

DL: You speak Japanese?

NP: A little bit, yeah. So uhm, we made many friends. We brought Hershey's Kisses--they don't have Hershey's Kisses there, so we took them and we'd give them out on the subway and then we'd, you know, we'd ask them in Japanese if they were our friends. And they'd say sure, and then we'd take pictures of them. It was wonderful!

DL: And so they have no, they have no problems taking candy from uhh, from Americans? [Dave reaches back to get photographs]

NP: No, not at all. I can even show you one of my friends...[Dave holds it up for the camera, but they don't show it in close-up at first]

NP: [looking at monitor offscreen] They're not showing it...

DL: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought they'd take a look at it...[Finally the picture is shown in close up. Natalie is grinning next to a Japanese man in a subway car.] There you are, yeah.

NP: It's me and uhh...see, he's got Hershey's Kisses in his mouth.

DL: Right. [Audience and Natalie laughing. Dave shows the next picture of students sitting on the ground, and a monk standing over them with a big stick]

NP: And uhm...we...that's Zen Buddhist meditation. They uhm, there's this guy and...you have to sit, you know, in the position...you sit like this, and when you feel that--you have to keep your spirit up, and when you feel that your spirit isn't concentrated, and isn't good, you have to go like this [placing open palms together] and the guy comes and HITS you.

DL: Wow!

NP: [laugh] So of course, when we first started, like no one wanted to do it, because who wants to get smacked, you know? But uhm, but after a while he got insulted, he was like, 'I wanna hit you guys!' [laughing] So then every 5 minutes, we'd have to you know, stop and let him smack us a little.

DL: Very strange...you would give him the candy as well?

NP: [laughing] No. [Dave shows a picture of a guy reaching out to hug a Japanese girl.]

NP: And uhm...this is one of my friends, David. He uhh...loves hugging people, and apparently that's a no-no in Japan.

DL: Really? They don't like to be hugged?

NP: Because of germs and stuff...

DL: Oh...

NP: You can't, umm, you can't hug, and touch, and kiss.

DL: Oh, really.

NP: That's why they bow instead of shaking hands and stuff.

DL: Oh. Good for them.

NP: Yeah. [Natalie and audience laugh]

DL: Alright, well congratulations on the big Star Wars blockbuster...

NP: Thank you.

DL: Nice to have you with us again.

NP: Thank you, it's so nice coming back.

DL: Thank you. Look, it's Natalie Portman! [Audience cheers]