Pilot

Grissom to Holly: We scrutnize the crime scene. Collect the evidence. Recreate what had happened without ever been there. It's pretty cool actually.

Holly: There were...bodies. I could feel them.....breathing...
Grissom: It's okay, Holly. It's alright. *turns around to yell at the bodies through the door* You assholes! *Holly laughs* There. Okay?

Grissom: We are so sorry about this Mrs. Harmon. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.
Mrs. Harmon: No, you don't understand. This is his picture, but that's not my son's voice.

Holly: Look, um, I got to be honest. This isn't me. I was pushed into it by my mom. She's a Lieutenant in Traffic. She's never going to get out of traffic so, um, I'm fulfilling her dreams, not mine.
Catherine: I can sit here and I can baby you and I can tell you to quit but I'm not going to do that, because I really love my job. We're just a bunch of kids that are getting paid to work on puzzles. Sometimes there's a piece that's missing. Sometimes we solve it in one night.
Holly: So you think I should stick with it?
Catherine: Stick with it? The cops? Forget it. They wouldn't know fingerprints from paw prints and the detectives...chase the lie. We solve. We restore peace of mind. And when you're a victim, that's everything. Stick it out. At least until you solve your first. And after that, if you don't feel like King Kong on cocaine, then you can quit. But if you stay, with my right hand to God, you will never regret it.

Cool Change

Catherine: Wait a minute. Uh, you-you can't give him the Holly case. I mean, all due respect, Nick. I want this one.
Grissom: Nicky is the only one that didn't have any personal contact with Holly. I don't want you on this, Cath.
Catherine: Why?
Grissom: Because you're emotionally involved.
Catherine: Yeah. She was going to walk. I convinced her to stay. If anyone's to blame here, it's me, and I want this case. *grabs the assignment sheet from Nick* Fire me.
Grissom: I'm not firing anybody. Look. I know we're pulling a double. We're on edge 'cause of Holly. I just want everyone to stay calm and to do their jobs for the next ten hours. And for now, we're short of help. So I'm bringing in Sara Sidle to give us a hand.
Catherine: Sara Sidle?
Warrick: Who's that?
Grissom: She's a CSI out of San Francisco. She's a friend of mine; someone I trust. She's going to handle our internal investigation and I want to keep this in-house. I don't want I.A. involved.
Catherine: Great, that's just what we need: somebody sniffing around.

Sara: You were playing $100 on every spot. You have a system?
Warrick: I'm counting cards.
Sara: Isn't that illegal?
Warrick: Not if you do the math in your head.
Sara: You play anything else?
Warrick: I bet sports from time to time.
Sara: So...let me get this straight. You were assigned by Brass to shadow a trainee, a robbery comes up on M.L.K, and you go for coffee.
Warrick: An officer was there.
Sara: So, you felt safe to leave? Do you know the policies and procedures for clearing a scene?
Warrick: Yes.
Sara: Then, why'd you leave? I mean, what was so important that you had to rush out of there?
Warrick: I told you. I went for coffee.
Sara: Was that before or after you made your bets? Sunday...Vegas...NFL football... guy like you...come on, you trying to tell me that you didn't make a little pit stop? *Warrick doesn't say anything* Look at me. Did you log on...tell dispatch where you were going?
Warrick: Do you know how many times I've been left alone at a crime scene when I was a rookie?
Sara: Yeah, well, this time is different.
Warrick: Yeah, why's that?
Sara: Holly Gribbs died on the operating table twenty minutes ago.
*Warrick turns to look at Sara, shocked by the news. He's absolutely stunned*

Grisssom: They say I have to let you go. You violated the policies and procedures for clearing a scene. I read Sara's report.
Warrick: I know. I messed up. And Holly's dead. I'm sorry, Gil.
Grissom: I'm sorry, too. I don't want to do this.
Warrick: You got to. You know where I was?
Grissom: I think I have a pretty good idea.
Warrick: I went to lay a bet. I didn't even think I was doing anything wrong. Never occurred to me.
Grissom: It never occurred to me, either. You know what? If I let you go I got to let me go, too. And Catherine ... and Brass. We're all culpable in this. I don't care what the book says. I lost one good person today. I don't want to lose another...here. *Grissom hands Warrick his badge and his gun*
Warrick: I won't let you down again.

Grissom: Alright, Nick. Standing by for operation Norman. Let him fly.
*Nick throws three dummies off of the roof, after each dummy thrown the crowd applauds*
Grissom to Crowd: Yes, yes. *takes a photo of the first dummy, to himself* Norman pushed. *takes a photo of the second dummy* Norman jumped. *takes a picture of the third dummy* Norman fell.
Sara: Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs. Roper?
Grissom: I don't even have to turn around. Sara Sidle.
Sara: It's me. Still tossing simulation dummies? There are other ways to tell, you know?
Grissom: How? Computer simulation? No thanks. I'm a scientist I like to see it. Newton dropped the apple, I drop dummies.
Sara: You're old school.
Grissom: Exactly. And this guy was pushed.

Sara: What are you gonna say? "Hi, I'm a Criminalist. I was in the neighborhood..."
Catherine: Shh. It's ringing.
Jerrod Cooper *over the phone*: Hello?
Catherine: Oh, hey.
Jerrod Cooper: Who's this? I just dialed my own damn beeper.
Catherine: It's my beeper now. I found it.
Jerrod Cooper: It ain't yours. That's my beeper. I do a lot of business on that beeper.
Catherine: What kinda business?
Jerrod Cooper: Oh, you know. Slangin' a little somethin' somethin'.
Catherine: Oh, a little somethin' somethin'. Or maybe a little bling-bling?
Jerrod Cooper: What do you know about a little bling-bling?
Catherine: Invite me over to your crib, baby. You might find out.
Jerrod Cooper: Three Aces Motel. Room 202.
Catherine: Three Aces Motel, room 202. See you soon. *hangs up* Did I just do that?
Sara: So what's a "bling bling"?
Catherine: Got me.

Grissom: Was he in town with anybody?
Detective Barns: His girlfriend. She's upstairs in police custody. Do you want to talk to her?
Grissom: Not yet. Right now, I want to talk to him.
Detective Barns: How do you talk to a dead body?
*Grissom moves in closer to the body and kneels down to look at it*
Grissom: I let him talk to me, actually. In fact, he just spoke. Didn't you hear him? He just told me that he didn't commit suicide. *Grissom holds up a pair of broken glasses*
Detective Barns: No. You-you lost me.
Grisson: This guy fell to his death wearing prescription eyeglasses. Jumpers take their glasses off.
Detective Barns: You can tell all that just by looking at a pair of eyeglasses?
Grissom: You have no idea.

Crate 'n Burial

Grissom: People leave us clues, Nick. They speak to us in thousands of different ways. It's our job to make sure we've tried to hear every single thing they've said.

Grissom: You have to see the birthday present I got for your daughter.
Sara: What's the rule? How long do I have to be here before I start kicking in for gifts?
Catherine: When the spirit moves you, Sara. So, in your case, I guess, never.
Grissom: I got one of these chem labs when I was six. I almost blew up the whole house.
Catherine: I hope you can return it 'cause, uh, Lindsey doesn't want a party.
Grissom: Yeah, what kid doesn't want a party?
Catherine: My kid.
Nick: Hey, Catherine what time's your little girl coming by?
Catherine: She isn't.
Nick: Yeah, but I got her a chem set.
Sara: You keep that; might learn something.
Nick: Stop flirting with me. Cath, really, when's the party?
Catherine: What do I have to do---put it on the bulletin board? There is no party. My daughter doesn't want a party. Is everybody clear on that?
*Everyone's pager goes off, they all leave, as Grissom leaves he places his chem set on Nick's*
Grissom: We'll play with these later.

Pledging Mr. Johnson

Grissom: Get in the boat. Pull the engine cord.
Catherine: What?
Grissom: Get in the boat.
Catherine: Why?
Grissom: Just indulge me, please?
Catherine: There's no gas. It's not gonna start.
Grissom: That's not the point.
Catherine: As long as there is one.

Catherine: New pet?
Grissom: The African Red Baboon Tarantula---the most feared of all arachnids. But basically harmless.
Catherine: Yeah, well just keep the lid on it, okay?
Grissom: I think you scared him. All his hairs are standing up.
Catherine: If you're through amusing yourself I have some news on the boat.
Grissom: Was it at the Marina?
Catherine: What do you think?
Grissom: My spider sense says it wasn't.
Catherine: Right. We need to find the boat.

Catherine: When Eddie was cheating on me I sure wish somebody would have said something.
Grissom: You mean me.
Catherine: Who else?

Greg: Come on. Level with me. Who do you think killed her.. the husband or boyfriend?
Grissom: And you've narrowed it down to just two suspects?
Greg: Actually, you did. You see, my second week at CSI, you told me that when a cheating spouse is murdered there's always two suspects at the top of the list: The lover and the betrayed.
Grissom: I told you this?
Greg: Mm-hmm. You see, I'm thinking that the husband caught Wendy with the boyfriend and when she left his house, he killed her in a jealous rage.
Grissom: And this theory is based on...?
Greg: Nothing. I'm just trying to help.

Brass to the Judge: You're under arrest for obstructing justice, tampering with state's evidence, and violating seven articles of being scumbag.

Friends and Lovers

Grissom: Let me tell you something, Humbert. You're twice the age of these kids and most of them couldn't find their ass with a map. You prey on innocent children concocting god-knows-what from god-knows-where selling Russian roulette in a bottle and you think we came all the way out here to bust you for "possession", you dumb punk? I'm gonna get you for murder.

Grissom: Teenage wasteland.
Warrick: Who?
Grissom: Exactly.

Grissom: Someone chased this kid to death.

Grissom: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane next to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet there'd be this tiny brown spider fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the next day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, Scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the next day and what do you think happened to the spider?
Warrick: Dead.
Grissom: On his back, eight legs up. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then I realized, where we stand. For the first time I understood our role. We don't impose our will. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence.

Grissom: There are three kinds of people I hate. Men who hit their wives, sexual violation towards children, and the scum who sell death to underage kids.

Catherine: Heavy on B.S., zippo on truth.
Nick: You don't seem too bummed about it.
Catherine: Hell, no. I'm stoked. We drew the best case, Nicky. I can feel it.

Cassanno - Lawyer: I can tell you right now we're going to plead diminished capacity.
Grissom: Good. I hope you win.
Bobby: It doesn't matter.
Cassanno - Lawyer: It's the difference between prison and a hospital, Bobby. It matters.
Bobby: You don't understand. I don't care what happens to me. I killed my best friend.

Who Are You?

Greg: So, the French Palace, huh?
Catherine: Yup.
Greg: You know, my friends and I used to go there. Payday Fridays.
Catherine: Uh-huh.
Greg: Maybe I saw you perform?
Catherine: Oh, I doubt it.
Greg: Why?
Catherine: You would've remembered.

Sara: Both gun's are nine millimeter automatics. Brass isn't going to like this.
Warrick: I don't give a damn what Brass likes.
Sara: Like I do? If Tyner's dirty, he goes down. I just know what happens when you piss off the P.D.
Warrick: Yeah, it's war.

Brass: So I bet you think I owe you one, huh?
Warrick: We work. We get paid. You don't owe me anything.
Brass: Fine with me.

Nick: Ten bucks says the owner sells the house.
Grissom: By law you've got to disclose everything. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a skeleton.

Amy Hendler: There was blood... everywhere. No one else could see it ... but I knew it was there. A dead body is so heavy.

Grissom to Amy: For five years, you've been washing the blood off your hands.

Catherine: I'm a forensic scientist.
April Lewis: Scientist... wow. You look so normal.
Catherine: Thanks.

Eddie: When are we going to talk about what happened?
Catherine: What's to talk about? You cheated on me. I caught you.

Nick: Mrs Hendler, do you and your husband do much rock climbing?
Amy Hendler: Yes. *points gun at Nick* That's what I killed her with.

Grissom: So, how's the thing going on Eddie Willows?
Warrick: What thing?
Grissom: The thing that I told Catherine to pass off to you.
Warrick: Oh, good. Um...we just put some stuff through the lab.
Grissom: Get ahold of the DMV?
Warrick: I was just about to.
Grissom: Warrick, why would you call the DMV for a rape case?
Catherine: Okay. I didn't hand it off.
Grissom: Really?
Catherine: I'm sorry, Warrick.
Warrick: If you want me to suave anyone, I got to know the shot.
Catherine: I know. I'm sorry. *to Grissom* I'm doing this for Lindsey.
Grissom: You so much as breathe on the evidence, it's contaminated and I end up the bad guy.
Catherine: Eyes, no hands.
Grissom: What's the status?
Catherine: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.
Grissom: Vigorous.
Warrick: She's trying to tell you Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine: Thank you, Warrick. Eddie said that she was into it.
Grissom: "He said. She said?" It's about the evidence, Catherine. And you may not like where it takes you.

Blood Drops

Grissom: What did you find out about the psych exam on the little girl?
Sara: The shrink says the kid is in a catatonic state from a trauma. I could've told you that. But she did respond to the name "Buffalo."
Grissom: Respond how?
Sara: She freaked out.
Grissom: And...what are you doing about it now?
Sara: Going back to the girl. I left her in the car.
*everyone looks at her*
Sara: The windows are cracked.
*everyone still staring and Sara smiles*
Sara: Give me a little credit. She's at the hospital.

Grissom: Hey, stop! Evidence!
Det. O'Riley: We got to hug the wall? This is the only room with no blood in it. There's nothing to disturb.
Grissom: You guys will never get it, will you?

Grissom: Do you feel this?
Sara: Her soul's still in the room.

Anonymous

Nick: You care to back that up? My phantom driver against your crime scene?
Warrick: How much?
Nick: Fifty.
Warrick: I don't get out of bed for less than a bill.

Grissom: We're going off the board tonight.
Sara: Off the board?
Catherine: Old Cases. The ones that got away; fish.
Sara: Ah. I missed that one.

Brass: Oh, you're gonna love this. Ring any bells? Rub-a-dub-dub, dead man in the tub.

Uniformed Cop: Why does he want to be alone?
Brass: He wants to get his mojo working.

Unfriendly Skies

Grissom: Okay, Vicki Mercer and Carl Finn. I believe are in the bathroom.
*Warrick and Catherine carry their dummies into the plane's bathroom*
Warrick: Mile high club.
Catherine: If you ask me, it's their spouses that are the dummies.

Sara: I take it that's not blood?
Grissom: No, but it has protein in it.
Sara: Ah, the mile high club. That means the two passengers may have had no idea what was going on inside that cabin.
Grissom: High altitude enhances the entire sexual experience. It increases the euphoria.
Sara: Well, it's good. I don't know if it's that good...Cite your source.
Grissom: Would you hand me a swab please?
Sara: You're avoiding the question. "Enhances sexual experience. Increases euphoria." Cite your source.
Grissom: A magazine.
Sara: What magazine?
Grissom: "Applied psychodynamics in forensic science".
Sara: Never heard of it.
Grissom: I'll get you a subscription. Now cite your source.
Sara: Oh, now you wanna go down that route?
Grissom: Yeah.
Sara: Nah, nevermind.
Grissom: You started it.
Sara: Delta Airlines, Flight 1109, Boston-Miami, March '93, Ken Fuller. Hazel eyes, Organic Chem Lab TA, BMOC...overrated...in...every aspect. Could we get back to work please?
Grissom: Yeah, I think due to your uh...first hand knowledge and expierence in airplane bathrooms you should do the swab.

Grissom: A, B, C, D or all of the above? Standoff with the police -- guy gets shot in the chest, runs back into his burning house inhaling smoke as he goes. The roof collapses, the air conditioning unit falls on his head, he dies. What killed him?

Grissom: It's not about that. You all have different opinions but you've taken the same point of view. You've put yourself in the shoes of the passengers, but nobody's put themselves in the shoes of the victim. That's the point.
Sara: I'm sorry. What are you saying?
Grissom: Nobody stopped to ask Candlewell if he was all right. They just assumed, because he was kicking the back of Nate's seat, that he was a jerk -- because he was pushing his call button that he was bothering the Flight Attendant -- because he was trying to get into the lavatory he was making a scene -- because he was going back and forth up and down the aisles, he was posing a threat.
Catherine: He was a threat.
Grissom: No. He turned into a threat. It didn't have to be that way. People make assumptions. That's the problem. You just did. And I think these passengers made the wrong assumption and now this guy's dead.
Warrick: Well, if that's your stance how could it have been prevented?
Grissom: If just one person had stopped and taken the time to look at the guy to listen to him, to figure out what was wrong with him it might not have happened. It took five people to kill him. It would have only taken one person to save his life.

Sex, Lies, and Larvae

Sara: I hate bees.
Grissom: Just paper wasps. They're having too much fun to worry about us.
Sara: I never get used to this part, you know when the bugs get going.
Grissom: Just doing what god intended, recycling us back to the earth.

Grissom: "The worms go in the worms go out the worms play pinochle on your snout."
Sara: Shakespeare again?
Grissom: An old nursery rhyme.
Doc Robbins: A very special insect, Dr. Seuss?

Grisson: No, Sara's gonna work with me. You've got a missing person, Sheryl Applegate. Her husband notified the police that she took the car and headed to LA, but she never showed up. A few hours ago, the PD found her car at the bus station. They requested a CSI.
Nick: She took the bus instead, case solved.

Grissom: You have empathy for her, Sara. You want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara: You want to sleep with me?
Grissom: Did you just say what I think you did?
Sara: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams ... You can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.

Brass: So, you planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?
Grissom: It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.
Brass: I thought your bugs never made mistakes.
Grissom: They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket or clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight---maybe tighter than I realized---which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects
Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Brass: Well, let me ask you this. You killed a pig just for this?
Grissom: This poor ham was already on its way to someone's Christmas dinner table.
Brass: Wouldn't a rabbit be easier?
Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.

I-15 Murders

Grissom: "I've killed 5 women... catch me if you can."

Nick: I need your shirt.
Kristy: Why is it every time we meet you're wanting me to take my clothes off?
Nick: Because every time we meet you put yourself in a position where you have to take them off.

Grissom: That's my Big Mouth Billy Bass. It's better than a watch dog. I got some valuable stuff in here.
Nick: Yeah, I'm sure lots of people would want to steal your two headed scorpion and Miss Piggy.

Fahrenheit 932

Jail Inmate: Yo Grissom! This guy is the reason I'm in here. A shoe print! Yo next time I go barefoot!
Grissom: Even better, foot prints.

Grissom to Sara and Warrick: Listen, you guys. You're like Dodger fans. The ball game's only in the seventh inning and you're already out of your seats.

Boom

Warrick: What are you guys doing?
Sara: We're going to go blow up some bombs.
Warrick: Oh, I definitely got the wrong end of this investigation.
Grissom: Alas, poor Warrick.

Grissom: I can't tell whether he's brilliant or nuts.
Brass: Sound familiar?

Grissom: You told me you weren't dating her.
Nick: I wasn't till last night after I broke up her fight with this guy, uh... Jack.
Grissom: And Ecklie's at her house now.
Nick: Yeah, and I can tell you what he's going to find. My fingerprints; my DNA. Grissom: What were you thinking, Nicky?
Nick: I wasn't.

To Halve and to Hold

Catherine: So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Grissom: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.
Grissom: Hmm.
Catherine: Stars and trucks?

Grissom: All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Catherine: Well, it is a leg bone and my guess is that it didn't walk out here by itself.
Grissom: It could have been a hiker who got lost. It's interesting to me how you always expect the worst.
Catherine: You see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised.
Grissom: Potential crime scene. Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body?
Catherine: Yes professor. I, too, took osteology.
Grissom: Well, 205 more bones and we have a complete skelton. If we find the rest then we can determine if or if not it was a murder.
Catherine: Well, I feel it in everyone of my 206 bones that this was a murder.

Grissom: You bring in a specialist without my approval?
Catherine: What? And you don't bring one in, possibly compromise the case because you two had a relationship?
Grissom: Relationship? I hardly know that woman.
Catherine: Oh, so I guess that dopey look in your eye whenever she's around is just that.

Table Stakes

Grissom: Who found her?
Brass: Look around you. This is gonna take all night.
Grissom: Come for the hors d’oeuvres... stay for the interrogation.

Nick: Marco?
*Warrick dived under the water and gets the evidence and came back up*
Warrick: Polo.
Nick: You want to get out of there, sir? Pool closed at sundown.
Catherine: Can I get you a towel, sir?
*Warrick gets out of the pool*
Warrick: Yeah, please.

Catherine: Well, according to her credit card records Portia Richmond hasn't spent a dime since she's been in the Mediterranean.
Sara: She's dead.
Catherine: Not necessarily. She may have been... swept off her feet.
Nick: Some guys still like to foot the bill.
Sara: Really? How would you know?
Nick: Hey, I only go dutch if girls ask the wrong question.
Catherine: What's that?
Nick: "What do you drive?"
Sara:: It's a honest question.
Nick: No it's not. What it means is "how much do you make so you can take care of me".
Sara: Well, not this girl.

Grissom: Now I see it...the family resemblance. Donny and Marie; brother and sister.

Brass: I hate having lunch with you CSIs, you notice everything.

Too Tough to Die

Catherine: You set me up. Again.
Eddie: How, by taking out daughter to dinner?
Catherine: Get over here.
*Catherine leads Eddie into the next hallway to continue to conversation*
Eddie: Oh, come on now! What?!
Catherine: You are so pathetic. Just so pathetic.
Eddie: Watch it, Cath.
Catherine: Sucking up to our daughter 'cause I caught you robbing me.
Eddie: The only thing I robbed you of is good sex.
Catherine: No sex is worth you. And you are not taking my daughter to a club with one of your music whores.
Eddie: Oh, they're whores? When I met you, you were taking your clothes off in a strip club.
Catherine: It was a job, Ed. And it supported you just like every other job I've had including this one!
Eddie: Yeah? And who paid to close up you're nose?
Catherine: You're such a bast...
*She moves to slap him but he grabs her wrist and pins her against the wall*
Catherine: Let go of me.
Eddie: I'll let go of you when I'm damn good and...
*Grissom comes over and pushes him off of her*
Grissom: Let go of her, Ed! Catherine?
Catherine: Just get him out of here. *walks away*
Grissom: I don't ever wanna see you in this building again. This is our place of business. You understand that?
Eddie: I always knew you two had a thing.
Grissom: Go home, Eddie.
Eddie: Sure.

Grissom: Hey.
Sara: Any luck on 23rd street?
Grissom: I, uh, broke in my new shoes. That's about it. What'd the lab say?
Sara: The DNA from the ball cap is a match to the semen we found on our Jane Doe. But ... CODIS hasn't kicked out a name.
Grissom: So you're just...looking at missing persons reports?
Sara: We're not having any luck finding the shooter from his DNA with a belt loop so I thought I would at least try and identify the poor woman before she dies.
Grissom: Sara. Do you have any diversions?
Sara: Do I what?
Grissom: You max out on overtime every month. You go home and listen to your police scanner. You read forensic textbooks...
Sara: Yeah.
Grissom: Look, every day we meet people on the worst day of their lives. It's a lot to deal with. Everyone who's had any time on this job knows that you have to have a diversion in order to cope with what we see. What do you do for fun?
Sara: I chase rabbits. And...I read crime books. And I listen to the scanner.
Grissom: You need something outside of law enforcement. Catherine has her kid, you know? I sometimes...ride roller coasters. What do you do?
Sara: Nothing.
Grissom: Okay. What do you like?
Sara: I don't like anything.
Grissom: You've got to find something to like. You can't get too close to the victims.
Sara: She's special...to me. I can't help it.
Grissom: If you don't find something they'll all become special and you'll burn out.

Nick: Hey, Sara, did anyone ever tell you, you have a pretty good singing voice?
Sara: If you like chalk on a board!

Shandra Thorpe: You police.. coming here with your attack dogs.
Grissom: Actually, they're scent dogs, and I'm not a police officer. I'm a Forensic Scientist with the Las Vegas Police Department.
Shandra Thorpe: What do I got to say to a scientist?
Grissom: You could say "hello."

Sara: The husband doesn't get it. *brushes a tear from her eye* He's so happy she's going to live. He doesn't realize she's going to be in a vegetative state for the rest of her life. And that kid Thorpe...is going to be out of juvie in 48 months. It's not fair.
Grissom: It's the system.
Sara: What kind of system rewards the suspect when the victim is too tough to die?
*Sara gets up to leave when she didn't get an answer*
Grissom: Sara...you got to learn to let this go or you're going to spend all your time in hospitals trying to help the people you couldn't save.
Sara: I wish I was like you, Grissom. I wish I didn't feel anything.

Face Lift

Nick: Which is radioactive. Do we need to evacuate the building or anything?
Greg: The amount is trace. We should be fine.
Nick: You sure?
Greg No.

Grissom: I hear that Greg found uranium on the swab from Felton's skull.
Nick: Yeah, he says I'm okay, but you know Greg. Tell me, am I radiating a green glow?

$35K O.B.O.

Sara: We're losing everything!
Grissom: Yeah... our killer got lucky tonight.

Grissom: Okay. How did her blood get on his shoe?
Nick: Gravity. Warrick, please, on the floor on your back.
Warrick: Man, why are you always trying to put me down?

Grissom: Our little Jessica was a prolific note-taker. *reading post-it note on computer* "Try to be a good person today."
Brass: Yeah, right. Try not to kill too many people.

Gentle, Gentle

Grissom: Have you let anyone else touch this note? Police, a relative, anyone?
Mr. Andersen: No, just us. Why?
Grissom: Well, because the person who touched it before you has your son, and he's just left us the first piece of the puzzle.

Sara: You told me a few weeks ago that nothing is personal. No victim should be special. Everyone follows your lead.
Grissom: Everyone didn't find that baby. I did. And that little boy is dead because someone lost their temper or screwed up, or god knows what. So, excuse me, but this victim is special.

Grissom: Let me tell you something. People are presumed innocent... innocent until a court of law can examine all the evidence and prove otherwise. Until then everything else is... gossip.

Sounds of Silence

Grissom: Hey O'Riley! I wouldn't book those suspects just yet. I think they ran over a corpse.

Grissom: I'm on a case.
Catherine: Mm-hmm. Is that why you forgot about the conference?
Grissom: The what?
Catherine: You missed the deadline. No Chicago for me.
Grissom: Oh, Catherine...
Catherine: This is the one meeting I needed to attend. I don't always want to be second banana. I can probably do your job. I know that I can do Ecklie's.
Grissom: I forgot. I'm so sorry.
Catherine: Make sure to submit the paperwork by the end of the day.
Grissom: I thought you said that it was too late.
Catherine: Well, I knew you'd forget so I upped the deadline.. gave you a buffer. Don't forget again.

Grissom: What do you call a guy with blue-dotted blood, lice, and keys to a Ford Explorer?
Warrick: A suspect?
Grissom: A killer.

Sara: So that's why Grissom's late.
Warrick: You just don't like other women in his life.
Sara: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

Sara: What was that all about? Grissom signs?
Warrick: What does Grissom drink when he goes out at night?
Sara: He goes out?
Warrick: Exactly. Who knows anything about that guy?

Justice is Served

Catherine: So you did the tox screen on my carny?
Greg: Roger that. You know, I have seen guys drink, like, five gallons of water to try and dilute their urine. It's the old straight flush. But all bad boy Sanders has to do is just test their specific gravity and-- blammo! -- I can still catch their toxic butts.
Catherine: Mm-hmm. So?
Greg: So your guy didn't do that.
Catherine: Great. What did he do? Try and mask it?
Greg: No.
Catherine: Oh, come on. That creep tested clean?
Greg: Yeah. For someone who's on the pill.

Greg: You know, most dogs have 42 teeth but, as you've discovered, your Cujo only has 41. Woof-woof.
Grissom: Did you ever hear a dog say "woof-woof," Greg? I mean, what is the origin of that? And what do we sound like to them, I wonder.
Greg: I don't know. Probably blah, blah, blah.

Catherine: What?
Sara: Well, this is fun.
Catherine: As opposed to?
Sara: A more scientific approach.

Grissom: What?
Nick: Most people don't admit when they're wrong.
Grissom: I'm wrong all the time. That's how I eventually get to right.

Grissom: Sometimes we deal with bugs, worms, waste or worse. But, as scientists, we look beyond the possibly offensive qualities of these things to what they might tell us about the puzzle we're trying to solve.

Evaluation Day

Nick: Peanuts? On the gas pedal?
Sara: It's one of those funny clues. Could mean nothing, could mean everything.

Catherine: Okay, let's get right to it. What's your shoe size?
Trent Calloway: Why?
Catherine: I have a shoe fetish. I love feet.

Greg: Squirrels love 'em ... they get tossed at dodger stadium and they make a hell of a butter.
Sara: You're nuts. You know that.
Greg: Exactamundo. Peanuts!

Nick: Look, I'm not one of your suspects you can trick, okay? If I'm not ready, be a man.. tell me I'm not ready.
Grissom: You're not ready.
Nick: You know why I took this job? Honestly? I wanted to pack heat, walk under the yellow tape, be the man ... but mostly, because I want you to think I'm a good CSI.
Grissom: And that's the reason I have to hold you back. Anybody who's great at anything, Nick, does it for their own approval not someone else's.

Grissom: Repeat after me. Silk, silk, silk.
Nick: Silk, silk, silk.
Grissom: What do cows drink?
Nick: Milk.
Grissom: Cows drink water. They produce milk.

Nick: Hey, Catherine, say, "Silk, silk, silk."
Catherine: Silk, silk, silk.
Nick: What do cows drink?
Catherine: Water. Why?
Nick: Never mind.

The Strip Strangler

Sara: Do we have a breakfast budget, Grissom?
Grissom: I believe Catherine was going to requisition one.
Sara: Good, cause our plates are up, and nobody has any money.

Agent Culpepper: We'll work the "Strip Strangler" case in conjunction.
Grissom: The what?
Agent Culpepper: He strangles them near Las Vegas Boulevard then removes their clothes. Strip Strangler. Why? What do you call him?
Grissom: Unknown Signature Homicide, Metropolitan Las Vegas.
Agent Culpepper: Oh. He's not kidding, is he?

Grissom: Did you come here to tell me about your new job?
Catherine: I told the Sheriff I'd pass.
Grissom: You don't want to be a Supervisor?
Catherine: Well, if I get a promotion, I want it to be on merit ... not because you're politically tone-deaf. So, our guys are outside in their Tahoes. If you're a civilian, we are. Except we are putting in for overtime.

Sara: He's escalating, Grissom.
Grissom: That's the pattern; it's a continuum.
Sara: Guess he wants to get caught.
Grissom: Signature killers never want to get caught and they won't stop until they do.