Bodies in Motion

Catherine: Whoa, Warrick, why do you have a ring on your finger?!
Warrick: Because I'm married.
Vartann: Since when?
Warrick: Since yesterday.
Vartann: Congratulations. How much did you pay her?

Catherine: So, you get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of perverse game are you playing here, Gil?
Grissom: I'm not a pervert.

Room Service

Nick: Isn't he supposed to be the next Brad Pitt?
Warrick: Now he's the next River Phoenix.

Kate Villa: I was in Julian's suite when he died? I am so getting into that club for sure.

Brass: So our interpreter is hiding something.
Grissom: Well that's not lost in translation.

Bite Me

Catherine: What are you thinking?
Grissom: Led Zeppelin... Stairway to Heaven.

Grissom: They were married and they slept in separate rooms.
Sara: Maybe one of them snored or had insomnia or liked to work at night.
Grissom: Maybe they were suffocating each other and he couldn't breathe.
Sara: *opens a drawer and finds a bottle of lubricant* Sexual lubricant! It's half empty, sticky! You know you don't have to sleep in the same bed together to have sex or romance.

Shooting Stars

Brass: So dump the body, raid the refrigerator.
Grissom: I guess they had an appetite for murder.

Catherine to Grissom: Who are you today? Moses?

Grissom: Have you been to the pyramids?
Catherine: Does the Luxor count?
Grissom: I'd like to see the pyramids one day.
Catherine: Keep walking. We could come upon them today.

Grissom to Catherine: We've got two choices, go back or go forward...

Greg: I also found a melted name tag with a sun burst logo. Figured I'd let my finger do the walking.
Sara: You scanned the Yellow Pages.
Greg: I knew the first three letters. By the way, do you know how many companies in Las Vegas start with S-U-N?
Sara: I so don't care.

Catherine: Did you notice those buzzards earlier?
Grissom: No, but something sure smells good to 'em.

Grissom: Are you having the same mirage, as I am?
Catherine: Yeah, a silver Beamer in the middle of the damn desert.

Abigail: You don't believe we're alone in the universe?
Grissom: Abigail, I'm sure if there is something out there looking down on us from somewhere else in the universe...they're wise enough to stay away from us.

Gum Drops

Greg: Don't you think it's weird that the McBride's did all this with two kids in the house?
Nick: Yeah. If they didn't care before, I bet they do now.

Sara: Everything in our experience tells us they're dead.. all four of them.
Nick: Doesn't mean we just give up.
Sara: No one's giving up. It's just that... you're acting like you're gonna rescue a person, not recover a body. And on this job that's not usually the case.
Nick: I was rescued.
Sara: It was not your day to die. When it's your day, it's your day. You know?
Nick: I don't think it was Cassie's day.

Sara: I was really into gold stars when I was a kid.
Greg: As opposed to now? *looks at the mail* Whoa! The McBride's must have a broken meter. Even if they left every light on day and night, it wouldn't add up to 2,000 dollars. Maybe Brass can check it out.
Sara: I think this print dust is getting to me. Would you mind finishing up the fridge?
Greg: Do I get a gold star?
Sara: Ha-ha-ha. *she walks out of the room, looks around and sees something's wrong with the lock on the basement door, opens it and goes down the steps* Greg? I found something.
Greg: Is it the bodies?
Sara: No.
Greg: Whoa, Sweet Mary Jane. The emerald city.
Sara: Explains the 2,000 dollar electric bill. And all the foot prints through out the house.
Greg: It's the ganja graveyard.
Sara: No... it's motive.

Sage: You know, you're third eye is so open right now. Are you having visions or hearing voices?
Nick: No.
Sage: I'm really sorry, but you are really radiating this crazy femine energy.
Nick: *chuckles* Really?
Sage: Do you believe in past lives?
Nick: No, ma'am
Sage: How come?
Nick: 'Cause I'm just trying to make it through this one.
Sage: I think you're doing pretty well.
Nick: Hey, Sage...thanks.

Sara: Did it make you feel like a man? To kill a little girl?

Secrets and Flies

Sara: Project Sunflower promotes itself as doing God's work.
Catherine: I knew a stripper who claimed the exact same thing.

Lab analyst: Why did the fly, fly?
Grissom: Because the spider, spied her. Catherine's daughter told me that when she was three.

UnderSheriff McKeen: What are you doing?
Grissom: Circling blow flies.
UnderSheriff McKeen: Why?
Grissom: Dead flies tell no lies.

A Bullet Runs Through It *both episodes*

Sofia: What are you doing? Put it down.
Cop: Yeah, sorry. I was just trying to secure his gun.
Sofia: He's not going to be using it anymore.

Grissom: Grissom.
Catherine: Hey. I just interviewed Sergeant Adams. He and Bell were making a routine traffic stop when the Capris cut in. The initial vehicle was a...
Grissom: A Buick?
Catherine: I hate it when you do that.
Grissom: Lucky guess. I'll call ya back.
Greg: How'd you know that hubcab was connected to the case?
Grissom: I'm a trained observer, Greg.
Greg: No, really.
Grissom: How long do you think a perfectly good hubcap like this would sit around out here? Now, there's a freeway on ramp about two blocks away. Check and see if there are any traffic cameras from here and there.
Greg: You know, you scare me sometimes. It's kinda freaky. You ever bet on the ponies?
Grissom: I prefer Poker, horses are harder to control. Make sure you document these skidmarks.
Greg: He said skidmarks.

Officer: Nobody gives a crap about a dead cop.
Other officer: I don't see them lighting any candles for Bell.

Catherine: They were shooting all the time?
Brass: Oh, yeah... it was like movie guns. They never run out of bullets.
Nestor: I don't go to the movies.

Nick: *about police car* Looks like a porcupine.
Sara: 78 bullet holes.

Grissom: Left to right, back to front... only cops were shooting in that direction.
Dr. Robbins: Are you saying Bell was hit by friendly fire?
Grissom: Maybe not so friendly.

Grissom: Toss one of the guns up there.
Hodges: Actually they're Bobby Dawson's guns. He made me sign for them. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate it if we brought them back damaged.
Grissom: Technically they're my guns so toss one up there.

Sara Sofia. You're on adminstrative leave.
Sofia: I know.
Sara: You should not be in this building.
Sofia: I was just talking to a friend. If I can't talk to a friend, who the hell am I supposed to talk to?
Sara: Any friend outside the department.
Sofia: And how many friends outside of work do you have, Sara. Oh, maybe I should go talk to my mother, oh no sorry, she's a cop too.
Sara: I can recommend a departmental psycologist.

Grissom: We have reason to believe that Officer Bell was killed by friendly fire.

Sofia to Brass: I'm always going to be the cop who shot a cop.

Dog Eat Dog

Sara: Oh, yeah the victims have a golden retriever.
Hodges: Well if you cracked that mystery at the scene, you would have saved me a lot of time. *sighs* I've been working like a dog.

Hodges: I heard your case is going to the dogs.
Nick: Oh Hodges heel or better yet play dead.
Hodges: I'm throwing you a bone.

Grissom: Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
Greg: Well, hopefully I find a weiner.

Still Life

Catherine: It's hard for anyone to let go of someone they loved.
Grissom: Yeah. After my dad died, my mom would still get him a present every Christmas. She'd put it under the tree. Christmas morning the wrapping paper would be all crumpled up. And uh.. the tie or the sweater or whatever it was would be hanging in the closet.
Catherine: How old were you when you he died?
Grissom: Nine.
Catherine: Little guy.
Grissom: He taught botony. He uh... came home from school one hot and humid day laid down on the coach, I was watching TV. My mom brought in some cold drinks but she couldn't wake him up. No one would tell me why.

Sara: Jesse has been missing for four years. We're chasing a ghost.

Werewolves

Warrick: Why silver?
Brent Martin: It seemed appropriate.

Hodges: And I thought Robin Williams had hairy arms.

Mrs. Bradford to Grissom: I was in labor for 27 hours. They didn't want to come out. Can you blame them?

Daddy's Little Girl

Grissom: Well, in my experience I found that most threesomes end up being one too many.. so, David, check and make sure that they didn't pull a Lorena Bobbitt! Take a look! *David feels around and then pulls back sharply*
David: No, we're good! My man's all there!

Warrick: Who brings a gun to a knife fight?
Grissom: The winner?

Kiss-Kiss, Bye-Bye

Greg: That's like distroying a part of Las Vegas history.
Sara: Yeah. Why ruin 40 year old priceless carpet?

Lois to Grissom: The boys that want me dead have been at this a lot longer than you. I need you to catch up fast. Remember when your tummy starts to rumble, I tried to help.

Grissom: Oh, by the way Sam's here. He's one of the people who left the room during the time of the murder.
Catherine: Oh. *looks over at Sam* Maybe I should say hi to dear old Dad.

Killer

Bus Driver: I notice everyone who gets on my bus. I saw the movie Speed. I'm not going to get hijacked.
Brass: That bus wasn't hijacked, it was wired to explode.

Bus Driver: He came out of the desert like Moses himself.

Greg: Nobody throws away porn; it's like an heirloom, passed on down the family tree.

Karl: Hey officer, I'm gonna make your day.

Karl: So tell me where I went wrong?
Grissom: You killed two people.

Up in Smoke

Sara: I know why a John Doe was stuffed down the Sidley's chimney. When you and Warrick were working that missing persons case you couldn't get a warrant and Martin wouldn't let you in right?
Catherine: Right.
Sara: Don Fitzgivens tried to gain access to the house through the son...
Catherine: But the son wouldn't corporate.
Sara: I think he knew that if the house became a crime scene CSI could get in there.
Catherine: Well, it's a logical theory. But to kill someone and stuff him in a chimney in hopes of getting information on your missing daughter?

Don Fitzgibbons: It's true, all of it. Are you going to arrest me?
Catherine: You just admitted to murder, I think you know the answer.
Don Fitzgibbons: Hold on, I didn't kill anyone.
Catherine: The body in the chimney?
Don Fitzgibbons: I took the body from Desert Palm hospital, from the morgue. He was already dead. A John Doe. Auto-accident in a stolen vechile. The car exploded he was burned beyond recognition. Miss Willows, I stole a dead body and I trespassed but that's it.
Catherine: And Tad Sidley's ID? Did you place the gym card on the body?
Don Fitzgibbons: You're a mother right?
Catherine: Yes.
Don Fitzgibbons: Why do you think I did it?
Catherine: You wanted Martin Sidley to know what it's like to lose a child.

Don Fitzgibbons: Look, I wish I could say that I was sorry for that trouble that I put you through. The petty crimes that I've commited. But I didn't hurt anyone...and Martin Sidley is behind bars and my daughter is getting her funeral. And that's all I wanted.
Catherine: I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we couldn't find your daughter without your help.

I Like to Watch

Cameraman: Mr. Grissom can you please discribe want you are seeing?
Grissom: A long night

Grissom: Everyone learns from science; it all depends on how you use the knowledge.

Catherine: What kind of fireman goes to the fire 22 minutes before the fire happens?
Grissom: Somebody that knows it's going to happen.
Cameraman: Sorry about that Grissom, we may not have gotten that. Can you repeat that?

Cameraman: Do you watch our show? It's got a lot of forensics.
Grissom: There's too many forensics shows on TV.

The Unusual Suspect

Sara: Stacy landed here and bled out from the tramua to her skull.
Nick: Darcy, why don't you put those headphones back on?
Darcy: Like I didn't hear what you just said.

Hannah: You don't think I could have done it. Either one of you.
Sara: That's a big job...for a little girl.
Hannah: Not if you have the right tools.
Sara: Smart kid like you, knows your brother is suffering, you feel bad, you wanna help...so you fabricate some evidence.
Hannah: Uh, if you thought the evidence was fake I wouldn't still be in jail. *Sofia and Sara both give each other looks knowing that Hannah is right* Don't you wanna know why I did it?

Sara: Do you have any physical evidence that would conclusively rule Hannah out as a suspect?
Nick: Well...yeah. She's four-foot three and sixty-five pounds. The crime just required more strength than she's got.
Catherine: How old is she?
Nick: Twelve.
Warrick: In high school?
Nick: She's a high school senior. She skipped six grades. She's a prodigy.
Sara: Which means that she has the brains for murder.

Sara: Hey there.
Hannah: Did you come to say bye?
Sara: No, actually you and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other. If you thought the DA wouldn't prosecute a twelve year old for murder, you were wrong. He wants justice for Stacy and her family.
Hannah: Of course, he's a total linear thinker. Most of you guys are.
Mrs. West: Shame on you Miss Sidle. Come on, Hannah, you don't need to listen to this.
Hannah Mom...just give us a second. *her mom walks away* You were saying?
Sara: Here. *goes and sits on the bench and Hannah stands in front of her* Hannah with your gifts you could have done anything you could have wanted and you picked murder, you can't take that back.
Hannah: You're worried how I'm gonna turn out?
Sara: Of course I am. I know it seems like a really long time but...in five years all the Stacy's of the world would have been behind you.
Hannah: Let me guess? You were a smart kid in school, maybe you feel that we're a little bit alike?
Sara: There aren't many people like you.
Hannah: That's what my parents always say too. The last four months all they cared about was the effect of the trail on me not Marlon. It's been that way ever since I was 14 months old and was spelling words with plastic letters. It's so unfair and nobody ever sees it. He doesn't deserve to go to jail. If I get convicted, what's the worst case senerio? I mean, I'll be out in five years with an undergraduate degree. There's no sun of Sam law in Nevada. That was ruled unconstitutional, so I'm free to write a book about all of this. *Sara is staring opened mouthed at her, shaking her head* The story will be worth millions. Freaks are always good box office.
Sara: You're not a freak.
Hannah: When was the last time you had to sit down to be eye level with a murder suspect who was standing up?
Sara: Hannah you are smart.
Hannah: So I've been told.
Sara: But you are not smart enough to get away with murder.
Hannah: I think I am. A lot of people are smart enough to get away with murder. You probably are too, but you have to be really smart to get people to think that something happened that never did.
Sara: What do you mean...exactly?
Hannah: Please don't worry about me, I'm gonna be fine. *she leans in close to Sara's ear and whispers* I didn't kill Stacy, Marlon did. *Hannah walks away, leaving Sara looking completely shocked*

Warrick: You rang.
Catherine: I got the DNA results from the blood on Hannah's sweater.
Warrick: Stacy?
Catherine: Hannah.
Warrick: So, she fabricated evidence and put her own blood on the shirt.
Catherine: Maybe, maybe not. I mean, the soil was consistant with the dump site. Hannah could have been at the scene. She could have cut herself buring the body.
Warrick: Or she could have gone back the field any time in the last four months and rubbed her shirt in the same kind of dirt.
Catherine: And counted on us to make the match? Well, that's just plain scary smart. I mean, my daughter is a few years older than her and the most important thing on her mind right now, is how much belly-button to show off at the mall...I never thought I'd be grateful for that.

Spellbound

Grissom: Okay, what am I thinking?
Greg: You're thinking I'm due for a promotion?
Grissom: I'm thinking you need to focus on your other five senses.

Greg: Have you ever been to a psychic?
Grissom: Would you be surprised?
Greg: Yeah.
Grissom: Surprise.

Greg: Well, it's a long story, but the short answer is... I have an expertise in the occult.

Wendy: Hey - I'm on a break, I'll see you in twenty.
Greg: Vending machine is on me if you give me the results first.
Wendy: No. Make it dinner.
Greg: Me and you?
Wendy: Me, you and my friend Julie.
Greg: Okay, but I get to sit in the middle.
Wendy: Deal.

Greg: Hey, Henry, what's up?
Henry: My job can get a little mundane sometimes *brandishing a vial* - not today.
Greg: I'll second that and raise you a stripper.
Henry: Okay, sure...

Warrick: Tight suit, baby.
Hodges: Actually it's not. I've only gained a couple pounds and I tend to--
Warrick: No, I mean it looks good on you.
Hodges: I see. Well, thank you, Warrick.
Greg: So what's with the get up?
Hodges: I was with Conrad and the mayor at the city council budget meeting requesting more funds for you slackers.
Greg: So, you probably didn't have any time to get some work done?
Hodges: Oh, contrair, multitasking is my forte. In fact, I showed your results for the city council fine crime fighting, courtesy of your trace lab.

Grissom: Where are you and Lindsey going this year?
Catherine: Disneyland. With the parents.
Grissom: Quality time with dad?
Catherine: Oh yeah. And Sam wanted to take some Tangiers jet, but my mother refused, said it wasn't the tradition. So now we're driving. Yeah, that would be hell of a road trip.
Grissom: Have fun. Say hi to Sam.

Poppin’ Tags

Dollar: I got more enemies than some countries got people.
Brass: Give us some names.
Dollar: It's gonna be a long list.

*Nick & Brass find Dollar gagged & locked inside a trunk in the back of his car*
Dollar: Where we at, man?
Brass: You're outside your hotel, sir.
Nick: Don't worry we're gonna get you out of there and get you some mediical attention alright.
Dollar: Man, you crazy? Look what I got on. I got all these people around here, the press! Man, let me know when we get to the hospital man. *closes trunk*
Brass: He's got a point.

Rashomama

Grissom: Did you know the original role of the bride's maid was to act as a human shield against the bride's enemies?
Sara: Women would dress similar to the bride in an effort to confuse and outsmart evil spirits that might try to overtake the bride on her wedding day.
Nick: Wow, for some one who's anti-wedding you sure know a lot about it.
Sara: I'm not anti-wedding, I'm just anti-stupid. You know, people who do things for the sake of tradition with no clue as to why...
Grissom: Anyway...

Sara: Did you guys decorate the wedding car with those beer cans?
Bryce Gundy: Yep.
Sara: Did you drink all of the beer first?
Bryce Gundy: Yep.
Sara: Awesome. Did you also tie the groom's mom to the bumper?
Bryce Gundy: No.
Sara: Good chat. Umm, I'm gonna need to get your fingerprints so that I can compare them to the ones I got off the car.
Bryce Gundy: Cool.
Sara: You are aware that someone has died...?
Bryce Gundy: No one's going to miss her except her son or her cellphone provider.

Nick: Why do we always eat here?
Greg: It's tradition.
Sara: Ah tradition, like becoming property exchanged between your father and your husband.
Nick: No, that's not what a wedding is. It's a public declaration of love.

Greg to Nick: Dude where's your car?

Brass: Hey pimp. How do you like your new ride?
Catherine: Hey look, they fixed it.
Nick: Ooh, Ooh, that's not funny.
Catherine: Oh, it's a little funny.

Undersheriff McKeen: So who wants to go first?
Grissom: I don't think it matters I'm sure our stories are all the same.

Jill: She made the past six months of my life hell. So, I told anyone that would listen that she should die a fiery death and now everyone is gonna think that I killed her.
Grissom: Would you like to be more specfic?
Jill: Okay, well when we got engaged, um...she ran into the backyard and she screamed "Why god, why me?" Okay. She wore white today. She-- She invited Adam's very, very, attractive, very um...single ex-girlfriend. When she found out that I had registered for sporting goods and she went behind my back and changed the registry to housewears. Saying that I better learn how to cook. Okay, I'm a vegitraian and she demanded roast beef. Um...and then, then there's the toast. The toast.
Grissom: Are you tryin' to make me think that you didn't kill her?
Jill: I would never do that to Adam. I-I honestly don't know how such an amazing man came from...from...that.

Mikey: Where's that Sara chick?
Catherine: Oh Romeo, I don't think you'll have time for romance. You're being charged with grand theft auto, obstruction of justice and conspiracy of murder...
Mikey: Okay. I will cop to everything but the murder.
Catherine: Well, if you didn't commit the murder, why did you steal the car?
Mikey: Look, the lady was already dead, all right? And then you guys show up...and then this bridesmaid comes up to me and starts askin' me all these questions about my tow truck.
Catherine: Which bridesmaid?
Mikey: The hot one. The next thing I know she wants to be the Bonnie to my Clyde. She asked me to steal this car and trash all the evidence.
Catherine: So you commited grand theft auto to get laid?
Mikey: Have you ever stolen a two-ton piece of machinery? It's way much better than sex. And finding a girl that doesn't wanna kick you to the curb for it, I mean c'mon, that's hot! Besides, I haven't gotten a wedding gift for my sister yet.

Mindy: I am not a bad person, and we didn't exactly kill her. I like to think she killed herself because she was...
*Cuts to Cindy*
Cindy: Crazy. She did crazy thongs to our friend. I mean, who hates a pediatric nurse. Granted, we'd been drinking a little, but she drove us to it. Sisterhood is...
*Cuts to Valerie*
Valerie: Powerful this and powerful that. She was on a total trip. We couldn't let our friend endure a life of that. I tried to shut her up with the drugs, but that backfired, leaving us...
*Cuts to Lacey*
Lacey: No choice, she was coming at me. I just defended myself, I didn't mean to take her down. But for what she was, I felt nothing. There she was just staring at me and all I could think was, Thank God.

Time of Your Death

David: Mom was right, always wear clean ones because you never know what could happen. What do you think this is?
Warrick: Why don't you take a whiff?
David: Why am I always the guy who has to sniff the shorts?
Warrick: Because it's your job.
David: You do it.
Warrick: *laughs* Red Wine.

Nick: The biggest fantasy here in Vegas is that everything happens by chance. Nothing here happens by chance. The odds are set before you even walk off the plane.

Caprice: Oh and may all your dreams come true.

Catherine: Caprice unlimited. Anything is possible. Sounds like a sex business.
Sara: What are you gonna say?
Catherine: Uh, something other than 'a guy is dead and it looks like you're involved'.

Catherine: Stimulate erection, and a pain killer. party in a pill.
Doc Robbins: Where was that on my wedding night?

Bang Bang

Tina: Hey baby.
Warrick: What's up?
Tina: Nothin' much.
Warrick: Where you at?
Tina: I'm at the Vanican getting a manicure. I hope you're in for a good back scratching session tonight.
Warrick: Who you talkin' 'bout?
Tina: What?
Warrick: Me or the guy standing next to you? See that little dome over your head? Give it a wave. I'm in the surveillance room watching you lie to me.
Tina: Warrick.
Warrick: Hey, maybe I'm gonna have to call that show cheaters.
Tina: Do you even know what you're talkin' about?
Warrick: Don't even bother comin' home tonight. I'll just text you the number of what storage bin your stuff will be in.
Tina: Do you wanna know what's up, huh? What's really up?
Warrick: I can see what's up.
Tina: You can't see a damn thing. He's a VIP host helping me plan your birthday party. I hope you enjoy spending it alone. *hangs up and glares at the camera*

Doc Robbins: Gil... have you even been even close to getting married?
Grissom: Once... when I was younger. Her name was Nicole Dailey. I asked her to marry me. We were classmates. She liked bugs too. I gave her my grandmother's ring, but my mother made me get it back. *Doc nods* Second grade.

Nick: I'm taking a trip around the world, you wanna go?
Sally: Sure. Can you afford the affair, darlin'?
Nick: Is 2 G's enough?
Sally: Where you at?
Nick: 3057 Westfall. It's right off of Charleston. It's a single level building. All the way in the back.
Sally: What do you look like?
Nick: Um... I've got a little Tom Cruise thing goin'.

Way to Go

Greg: Does he always wear a suit? Like when you guys go to dinner, the movies, or whatever it is you do when you hang out? Cause I've got to tell you, the thought of him in a sweater... it freaks me out.
Grissom: We don't... hang out Greg.
Greg: No kiddin'? I just assumed.

David: *about the guy* Do you think this is some kind of birth defect?
Grissom to Sara: What do you think?
Sara: I think... I feel fat.

Grissom: I dunno. Most people want to die in their sleep. I suppose... and never know that it is happening. Like a crime scene: 'Surprise! You're dead!' I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer actually. Have some time to prepare. Go back to the rainforest one more time, re-read Moby Dick. Possibly enter an international chess tournament. At least have enough time to say goodbye to people I love.
Sara: *exits the bathroom* I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Bobby Dawson: Hodges will have to verify this, but I believe that is cream of wheat.
Grissom: So he's a cereal killer?
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackles, pop!

Grissom: What are the odds?
Doctor: Mr. Grissom, this isn't a casino. I don't give odds.
Grissom: Do it.