The One with Monica's Thunder

Rachel: Come on, when Ross was getting married you were so upset that you slept with Chandler!
*Ross gives Chandler a sympathetic look*
Chandler: I don't care, she slept with me.

Ross: Where's Monica?
*Chandler points outside to terrace, where Monica is yelling*
Monica: I'm engaged!! I'm engaged!!
Ross: I thought it was just some kid yelling i'm gay!! I'm gay!!

Ross: From now on, the only one who'll be enjoying these bad boys is me.

The One with Rachel's Book

Ross: Take it from me...as the groom, all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.

The One with Phoebe's Cookies

Rachel: Oh God Joey, ohh I’m my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! I’ve been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin’.

Phoebe: Y’know, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that we’re trying to figure out her recipe. I bet she’s lookin’ up at us and smiling right now.
Ross: Looking up?
Phoebe: Oh yeah—No, she was really nice to me, but she’s in hell for sure.

Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why *Looking down* you’re burning in hell!!

Joey: Look at this clown! Just because he’s got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way jackass! Who names his boat 'Coast Guard' anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coast’s all the way over there.

The One with Rachel's Assistant

Tag: Phoebe! That’s a great name.
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.

Tag: I'd like to ask out Phoebe.
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe's gay.

The One with The Engagement Picture

Monica: Use the one with your bedroom eyes.
Chandler: Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?
Monica: Do you really wanna pull at that thread?

Monica: This is a great picture!
Chandler: Yeah, but I'm not in that one.
Monica: I know, but look at me all tan!

Ross: Dude, that reverse layup!
Chandler: And how about those three pointers?
Ross: Amazing!
Chandler: And those guys were THIS close to letting us play this time too!

The One with The Nap Partners

Chandler: Alright, I'm gunna go before Joey starts calling everyone "bitch".
Joey: What are you talking about, bitch?

The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs

Ross: Done! With time to spare.
Chandler: This might be a new world record.
Ross: You know I hate to lecture you guys but it's kind of disgraceful that a group of well educated adults and Joey, can't name all the states. Have you ever seen a map or one of those round colorful things called a globe?
Chandler: Uh Magellan, You have 46 states.
Ross: WHAT! That's impossible.
Joey: 46! Well who's educated now? Mr. I forgot 10 states?

Monica: "Hey, you guys know that your oven doesn't work?
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is ok, right?

The One with All the Candy

Gary: You live in this building?
Monica: Yes.
Gary: Mm! Seems i would have remembered you!

Chandler: I bet none of you even knows her name.
Guy: Candy lady??

The One with All The Cheesecakes

Joey: Hey, y’know you could always visit him.
Phoebe: Oh right, like they’re gonna let me have a passport.

Chandler: But I already opened the box, and you can't return the box after you've opened the box.
Rachel: Why not?
Chandler: Because it's too delicious!

Chandler: Well, thank you for lunch.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute, I didn't pay, I thought you paid!
Chandler: So apparently we just don't pay for food anymore.

The One Where Rosita Dies

Chandler: If anyone asks, your name is Rosita. Stevie, I was never here!

Earl: I've been working here at this meaningless, dead-end job, and nobody even knows I exist.
Phoebe: ... Chandler?

Monica: I used to love to play restaurant.
Ross: Yeah, not as much as you love to play uncooked batter eater.

The One With Joey's New Brain

Jessica Lockhart: It's a film in Guadalajara.
Joey: The airport?
Jessica Lockhart: That's LaGuardia!

Monica: Why is your family Scottish?
Chandler:Why is your family Ross??!!

The One With The Truth About London

Rachel: Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Ben: Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Don't do that.
Ben: Don't do that.
Rachel: Seriously. Your dad doesn't like pranks.
Ben: Seriously. Your dad doesn't like pranks.
Rachel: Uch, Damnit!
Ben: Uch, Damnit!
Rachel: No, No, don't say that!
Ben: Damnit!
Rachel: No, go back to reapeating!
Ben: Damnit!
Rachel: Oh, Crap.
Ben: Oh, Crap!

The One With Ross And Monica's Cousin

Monica: Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex until after the wedding.
Ross: A no-sex pact, huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America.

The One With Rachel's Big Kiss

Rachel to Chandler: Might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!?

Joey: 'Cause with Joey Tribbiani, you get a minister and an entertainer. I'm a ministainer!

The One With The Vows

Phoebe: I just hope it works. You know, 9 out of 10 marriages end in divorce.
Ross: Phoebe, that's not true.
Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. How's the missus?

Ross: With Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I died. She made no such promise.

The One With Chandler And Monica's Wedding

Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: No!
Ross: Well then you are neither of your parents!

Judy: I certainly see why the girls like coming here. The sexy blond behind the counter! *waves at Gunther*

Monica: I'm getting married today! I think I just cracked a rib. But I don't care, because today's my wedding day! My day is finally here!
Phoebe: You know, she might not even notice he's gone.

Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Um, hey, could you do me a favor and talk to Chandler's dad, and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom?
Rachel: Yeah. But I don't know what he looks like!
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Rachel: Man in the black dress... Hi! I'm Rachel! I'm a friend of Monica and Chandler's!
Woman: I'm Amanda.
Rachel: Oh I get it! A man, duh!

Charles: Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Nora: Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?

Ross: Huh, this is nice.
Phoebe: What?
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.

Chandler: I love you, and I know about the baby.
Monica: What baby?
Chandler: Our baby.
Monica: We have a baby?

Monica: Chandler, for so long I...I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now...here we are...with our future before us…and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go!
Joey: Chandler?
*Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows*
Chandler: *to Ross* No, that's okay. *Ross backs up* Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way, it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I'm sure? *He leans in and kisses her*