Sarah: No way. What if the house explodes?
Chris: The house is not going to explode.
Sarah: You leave him here, it will.

Sarah: Why would my mom pay you good money so Brad can watch me?

Chris: What am I suppose to do?
Sarah: Get in the car and run him over.

Darryl: Guys what are we suppose to do with him?
Sarah: Guys, can't you read? Take him to the hospital.

Brenda: Sit for the Andersons. That'll depress anyone.
Chris: I'm to old to babysit.

Chris: What do you want?
Pruitt: I just want to help ya.
Darryl: Don't listen to him. He just wants to scrap our faces off.

(Pruitt finally gets to his house)
Sarah: (laughing) Can we do that again?

Chris: Where are we going?
Darryl: To hell. Kind of exciting don't you think?

(singing at a blues club)
Chris: Some guys are out to get us
Darryl: and Brenda is probably dead.
Brad: We ain't go a nickel
Blues player: and they should be in bed.

Blues player: Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.

Leader: Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell.
Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter.

Dr. Nuhkbane: There you are, one stitch, all better.
Brad: One stitch?
Dr. Nuhkbane: Oh, yes, one stitch.
Brad: My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch? Chris is gonna think I'm a total failure!

Brad: Where we gonna get 50 bucks?
Sarah: We could sell Daryl. Ya' think?

Chris: Sir. Would you please take us to the next corner, and drop us off?
Joe Gipp: *chuckling* In this neighborhood? Hey... I wouldn't even get out of the car in this neighborhood.
Brad: Could you drop us off at the nearest mall?
Joe Gipp: A mall? Where y'all think we're at, Boise, Idaho? Shooo!

Brenda: Uh, those are hot dogs, right?
Hot Dog Vendor: Yeah, want one?
Brenda: Mmm, yeah I'd love one.
Hot Dog Vendor: That'll be two bucks. *Brenda hands him a check* A check?
Brenda: Yeah, but it's a good check. See, Chris' mom wrote it to Chris 'cause Chris bought her something, I can't remember what. Then I bought Chris some press-on nails, I gave Chris the difference, and she wrote the check over to me. So I'll write the check over to you, you keep the difference, and I'll take the hot dog. So, you got a pen?
Hot Dog Vendor: Get outta here!
Brenda: Wait! I'm starving, you'd rather throw it away than give it to me?
Hot Dog Vendor: I work on a cash-only basis.
Brenda: But it's a perfectly good check!
Hot Dog Vendor: No! I'll make it very clear. you slip me the cash, and I'll slip you the wiener.
Brenda: But I don't have any cash!
Hot Dog Vendor: Then I don't have a wiener!

Daryl: Did you steal all of these cars?
Joe Gipp: Yeah. It gets me some good money.
Daryl: Isn't it kinda dangerous?
Joe Gipp: Hey, I like danger, all right?
Chris: You should try baby-sitting.