Michelle: One time at band camp...

Michelle: What's my name bitch!
Jim: Michelle!

Jim: I got used.

Finch: God bless the Internet.

Stifler's Mom: Oh, Finch!
Finch: Oh... Stifler's Mom!

Stifler: I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them!

Jim: I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.

Oz: So what'd you think?
Kevin: I thought you sounded really good.
Stifler: I think you need your balls reattached.

Vicky: I want it to be the right time, the right place...
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX.

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Oz: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Oz: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Oz: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?