Lee: He's going to get this fine right?
Wellness Guide: Like is a cookie.

Lee: 60 lbs. That's a Backstreet Boy.

Reporter: What's it like working with Gwen?
Eddie: Ah.. don't remember.

Eddie: I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I am my own own entourage.

Lee: Survivor rule #3 kid. You're not here to love anybody. You're here to promote a movie. That's it. Period. Say you're here and you get word that your mother died. You know, like, hit by a bus or something. You go downstairs, you shed a tear, and say 'it's a shame. She would have loved this movie'.

Gwen: Is that a gun in your pocket or are happy to see me?
Eddie: Actually it's a gun. (takes it out and shoots her five times).

Gwen: My life is so stressful. Nobody knws what it's like to be me. Did we brush my teeth?
Assistant: Yes.
Gwen: See I don't even remember that.

Gwen: Kiki, what was that movie called?
Kiki: I don't give a shit!
Eddie: That wasn't it.

Gwen: She was so much more fun when she was fat.

Eddie to Gwen: You're the devil.

Hector: Pussyboy is going to go splat.