Mugger: Don't kill me, man - don't kill me!
Batman: I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.
Mugger: Who are you?!
Batman: I'm Batman.

Jack Napier/Joker: Tell me kid. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

Jack Napier: Decent people shouln't live here: they'd be happier someplace else.

Vicki Vale: You're insane.
Joker: I thought I was a pisces.

Joker: I'm laughing on the outside, my smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside I'm really crying, you might join me for a weep.

Joker: If you gotta go...go with a smile.

Joker: I've been dead once already, it's been liberating. You should think of it as...uh.therapy.
Grissom: Jack, listen, maybe we can cut a deal.
Joker: Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me...Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier.

Joker: Batman? Batman? Can somebody tell me what kind of a world where a man dressed up as a bat get's all my press? This town needs an emema.

Vicki Vale: What do you want?
Joker: A little song, a little dance...batmans head on a lance.

Joker: I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.

Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?

Joker: Hello, Benny. It's your uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check!

Alfred: I have little desire to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.

Knox: You know what they say? They say he drinks blood. They say he can't be killed.
Eckhardt: And I say you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, and you can quote me on that one.

Joker: Where does he get those wonderful toys?

Jack Napier: Nice outfit!

Joker: Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.

Joker: Wait till they get a load of me.

Vicki Vale: Some people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
Batman: He's psychotic.
Vicki Vale: Some people say the same about you.
Batman: What people?
Vicki Vale: Well, face it. You're not exactly normal, are you?
Batman: This isn't exactly a normal world, is it?

Vicki Vale: I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?
Bruce Wayne: I'd like to. But he's out there right now, and I've gotta go to work.

Joker: Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

Batman: I'm going to kill you!
Joker: You IDIOT! You made me. Remember, you dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try.

Batman: You killed my parents.
Joker: What? What? What are you talking about?
Batman: I made you, you made me first.
Joker: Give me a break. I was a kid when I killed your parents. When I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." How childish can you get?

Joker: And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? HE'S AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!

Vicki Vale: What do you want?
Joker: My face on the one dollar bill.
Vicki Vale: You must be joking.
Joker: Do I look like I'm joking?

Alfred: I thought champagne would be in order, ma'am.
Vicki Vale: Hi, Alfred.
Alfred: Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that he might be a little late.
Vicki Vale: I'm not a bit surprised.

Joker: I make art, until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully-functioning, homicidal artist.