Julien: I wipe my own ass.
Delivery Guy: Me too.

Julien: But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song.
Sonny: It's overtime right now and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens about once every ten years so...
Julien: Kangaroo song, kangaroo song, KANGAROO SONG!
Sonny: ALLLRRIIIGGGHTT!

Vanessa: He has a five year plan.
Sonny: What? Don't die.

Sonny's dad: Who the hell would give you a kid?