Ted: Who are you?
Bill: Ted, it's the Grim Reaper, dude.
Ted: Oh. How's it hanging, Death?

Death: A hit. You have sunk my battle ship.

Death: You must play me again.

Colonel Oates: Get down and give me infinity.
Bill: There is no way we could possibly do infinity push-ups.
Ted: Well maybe if he lets us do them girly-style...

Bill: Ted, don't fear the reaper!
Grim Reaper: I heard that!

Evil Robot Ted: Aim for the cat, dude! Aim for a cat!

Evil Robot Bill: Not bad...
Evil Robot Ted: Yeah. Let's make it bad.

Dead Bill: Ted, you know, if I die, you can have my megadeth collection.
Dead Ted: Dude, we are already dead.
Dead Bill: Oh. Well then they're yours, dude.

Grim Reaper: I predict Colonel Mustard did it in the cellar with a candlestick.
Bill: Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Ted: No, you didn't! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!

The Grim Reaper: *rapping* You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.