William: I can't feel my legs. I have no legs!

Denise's Quote: A true friend stabs you in the front.

Preston: This is so perfect. Amanda Beckett is single and on the night of this party. A party I'll be attending a party she'll be attending. It's all falling into place, it's like...it's...fate.
Denise: What, I thought we weren't even going to this party?
Preston: Look, all I'm saying is, Amanda and I are connected. We have been ever sense the first day she came to school. It was October, freshman year. First day in history I had ever missed the bus. If I had arrived on time, I never would of seen her. But as it was, I was the first person at Hills High to set eyes on Amanda Beckett. It was her first day at school. Then, I'm sitting in class enjoying a late breakfast, when suddenly, out of all the class rooms in the entire school ... she comes into mine. And where does the teacher sit her ... right next to me. Now, up until now, we can write this off to a coincidence. But then, she reaches into her bag and pulls out a strawberry Pop-Tart. The very same breakfast pastry that I was consuming at that very moment. What was I to do, how was I to proceed?
Teacher: Would anyone like to volunteer to give Amanda a tour of the school?
Mike: I will!
Preston: Mike Dexter...that's where I lost her. I had a clear shot and I hesitated. But fate has finally given me a second chance.

Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, OK?!

Kenny Fisher: It say here ninety-two percent of the honeys at UCLA are sexually active. Ninety-two of the women in Los Angeles at UCLA walking around going, "Class... or sex? What shall I do?" Ninety-two percent, yo! Hey, you know what that means.
Kenny's friend: What?
Kenny Fisher: It means I gots a ninety-two percent chance of embarrassing myself. I roll up on that shorty be like, "What's up yo?" she be like, "You don't know 20 different ways to make me call you Big Poppa" cuz I don't yo.

Denise: Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train."

Kenny Fisher: Why y'all gotta waste my flava? Damn!

Exchange student: I am a sex machine. Would you like to touch my penis?

Preston: Look, I don't know about you, but I really believe that there's one person out there for everybody.

Angel: There is fate but it only takes you so far, because once you're there it's up to you to make it happen.

Stoner Guy: You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.

William: Mike Dexter is an asshole. For the past decade he has made a hobby of my pain. Witness exhibit A: My 8th grade science project. A working rain forest that Mike threw out of a third floor window. It rains here no more. Witness exhibit B: An eyepatch I wore for a month after Mike beamed me with a raisin in home EC. My parents took me to a 3D film festival. I saw no third dimension. And of course, how could I forget the pudding incident? (holds up jeans with a huge brown spot) I know no one else has. Well, gentlemen, tonight Mike Dexter will know humiliation. Tonight, Mike Dexter will know ridicule. Tonight is the night that we fight back. Tonight is our independence night.

Denise: I know exactly who you are. You're Kenny Fisher...we used to...we used to play Miami Vice in my basement. You used to sleepover my house...you had to leave the hall light on every night. You're Kenny Fisher who used to buy me a card every Valentine's Day and a bag of those little hearts with the words on them. And you're Kenny Fisher who suddenly got too cool to hang out with me when we hit junior high. Cause, I was in all the smart classes, and cause my parent's didn't make a lot of money. And cause you desperately needed to sit at the trendy table in the cafeteria.