Mitch: Excuse me, el doctor! Hello...? Don't sew anything up thats supposed to remain open, ok?

Mitch: Have you ever noticed the older you get, the younger your girlfriends get? Soon you'll be dating sperm.

Mitch: Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When your a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, "What happended to my twenties?" Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from highschool becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You'll call it a procedure, but it's a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn't matter because you can't hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering "how come the kids don't call?" By your eighties, you've had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can't stand but who you call mama. Any questions?

Phil: Where are you from?
Ben Jessup: Baltimore. We have a dental practice there.
Mitch: Really, you're both dentists?
Steve Jessup: Yes! We're black AND we're dentists. Let's not make an issue out of it.
Ben Jessup: Eh, they're not making an issue of it. You're making an issue of it.