Dionne: Hello? That was a stop sign.
Cher: I totally paused.

Cher: So, the flannel shirt deal. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather or are you just trying to stay warm in the refrigerator?

Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.

Cher: Thank you Josh, I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about Kenny G again.

Cher: So, okay I don't want to be a trader to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, c'mon it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair, ooh, and cover it with a backwards cap and like we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.

Cher: I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies.

Cher: Dee don't you want to use your popularity for a good cause?
Dionne: No.

Cher: Uh, you are a snob and a half.

Cher: So OK, you're probably thinking, "Is this, like a Noxema commercial, or what?!" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl. I mean I get up, I brush my teeth, and I pick out my school clothes.

Cher: Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kinds of lawyers. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. He's so good he gets paid five hundred dollars an hour just to fight with people, but he fights with me for free 'cause I'm his daughter.

Cher: It's been a couple of months now, so I say we go out to Malibu.
Mel: Don't tell me those brain dead low-lives have been calling again.
Cher: They are your parents.

Mel: You divorce wives, not children.

Cher: Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.

Cher: Dionne and her boyfriend, Murray are in this dramatic relationship. I think they've seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie just too many times. Now I have to say to her...

Cher: I don't know why Dionne is going out with a high school boy. They're like dogs. You have to clean them and feed them and they're just like these nervous creatures that jump and slobber all over you.

Cher: So, OK, like right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all "What about the strain on our resources?" But it's like, when I had this garden party for my father's birthday right? I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that like, did not R.S.V.P. so I was like, totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings, but by the end of the day it was like, the more the merrier! And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty?

Travis: OK, like, the way I feel about the Rolling Stones is the way my kids are going to feel about Nine Inch Nails, so I really shouldn't torment my Mom anymore, huh?

Mr. Hall: And could the suicide attempts please be postponed till the next period?

Mel: Doesn't he look bigger?
Cher: His head does.

Mel: What for? Do you want to have a miserable, frustrating life?
Cher: Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.
Mel: At least he knows what he's doing. And he's in good college. I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction.
Cher: I have direction.
Josh: Yeah, towards the mall.

Cher: Well, some teachers are trying to low-ball me, Daddy. And I know how you say, "Never accept a first offer", so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.

Dionne: Dude, what's wrong? Are you suffering from buyer's remorse or something?

Travis: This is so unexpected, I, uh, I didn't even have a speech prepared. Uh, but I would like to say this: Tardiness is not something you can do all on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. Uh, I'd like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the L.A. city bus driver for taking a chance on an unknown kid, and, uh, last but not least, the wonderful crew at McDonalds for spending hours making those egg McMuffins, without which I might never be tardy.

Mel: I didn't even know you could get tickets without a licence.
Cher: Oh, sure you can. You can get tickets anytime.

Cher: Would you call me selfish?
Dionne: No. Not to your face.
Cher: Really?
Dionne: What's wrong? Is Josh giving you shit because he's going through his post-adolescent idealistic phase?