Connie: We got to go someplace where we can blend in. Somewhere were they never look for us because there's no theatre, no musical theatre, no dinner theatre, no culture at all.
Carla: Los Angeles.

Connie: We're gonna be LA girls now, we should work out.
*Connie and Carla think for a second, then laugh hysterically*
Carla: Good one.

Jeff: *pretending to be a Drag Queen* Stripes! Mary holy Martha Stewart's prison collection! I've got three words for you Miss Thing, no, no, no, and four words, yesterday!

*Carla wants to confess that they're girls not guys trying to Drag Queens*
Carla: I have a announcement to make. It's time you all knew.
Connie: Carla?
Carla: ...I am... an EATER!

Connie: I only have one life. I want it to be a happy one.

Connie: Carla, calm down. Your voice is giving me cramps.

Connie to Carla: Your voice is giving me mono!

Carla: And it was your stupid idea to be drag queens and now we're in hiding for life as woman dressed as men dressed as women.

Robert: By night we're a duo act Peaches 'n Cream.
Lee: I hate our name.
Robert: I think it's beautiful.
Lee: That's because you're the Peaches part I'm 'n Cream. My name is 'n Cream. What does that even mean?

Connie: I like him! I saw him before when we were still girls. He was standing out front. We had this moment Carla. He was nice to me.
Carla: What are you talking about?
Connie: Right. Why would he ever be attracted to me? I'm a drag queen.

Carla: Maybe we're having a delayed reaction to the trauma of being shot at like those guys in 'Nam.
Connie: You can say 'Nam Carla. You weren't in 'Nam. You have to call in Vietnam.
Carla: Shut up Connie! I can call it what I want!