Chris: Where are we going to get the Tequila?
Tim: The house idiot.
Chris: Don't call me an idiot, asshole.
Tim: Well, let's not act like a moron you idiot.

Chris: How about this? Hanson.
Tim: Hanson? What do you want him to do? Grab a rifel and head to the nearest watch tower?

Bran: Ok, easy one. Disney rat.
Natalie: Mickey mouse.
(Emma (Keri Russell) smiles)

Emma: He's the guy who wanted to abolish the arts.
Chris: (doesn't know) Christ...
Bran: That's not it.

Bran: Natasha Henchridge you morons!
Drunk friend #1: Cool.
Drunk friend #2: Hey we got two!

Spring fling girl: We're going to have nachos!

Tim: Cheers.
Chris: (spits it tequila out) What the fuck.
Tim: Two much lemon jiuce for ya?
Chris: Asshole.

Tim: Phase one complete.

Tim: Why do you think Starbucks open their stores next to the neighborhood coffee shops?
Chris: Can we talk about this later, please?
Tim: Why am I embarrassing you!? It's all about selling the beans. Do you ever know what starbucks means? Starbucks, star universe. Bucks money, money runs the whole fucking universe. You have a choice. You can either be a short normal drip or a power fucking grande moca late.

Chris: She's from Canada.
Officer: Is she canadian?

Chris: What the fuck is going on?
Tim: Well, this would be called taking a piss Bob. Haha.

Tim: Mike and Matt thought you were fine.
Chris: Who the fuck are Mike and Matt?

Tim: This isn't going to work. You can't shoot me. You morons! It's gotta look like a suicide.
Chris: Oh fuck. He's right.

Chris: Hey Emma! Are you in or are you out?