Duane: Your government needs your help.

President Mitchell: Is there a lawyer in the house?

Ellen Mitchell: Why can't you die from a stroke like everybody else?

Ellen: Don't you have anything to say to me?
Dave: Thank you for doing this Ellen.

Duane: Dave I would have taken a bullet for you.

Dave: Hail to the chief / He's the one we all say "Hail" to. / We all say "Hail" / 'Cause he keeps himself so clean! / He's got the power, / That's why he's in the shower..

Bob: I'm going to kill him.
Alan: You can't kill a President.
Bob: He's not a President. He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person.
Alan: Bob!
Bob: I can kill a hundred ordinary people!

Alan: Bob, at some point we're gonna have to call the Vice President.
Bob: Don't call the Vice President.
Alan: What?
Bob: Just don't call him, Al.
Alan: The guy's in a coma, Bob!
Bob: I don't give a shit.
Alan: Bob!
Bob: This is mine, Alan. All mine. I made him, I built him. And no Boy Scout is going to come in here and take it away from me, just because he happens to be Vice President of the United States.

Ellen: Reminds me of when you were in the state legislature.
Dave: Yeah... me too.
Ellen: You were never in the state legislature. *stands up and offers her hand* Hi. I'm Ellen Mitchell. Who are you?