Patches: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
Justin: What? *Patches throws a wrench and it hits Justin square in the face.

Amber: Justin! I love you!
Justin: I love ...
White Goodman: *hits Justin in the face with a Dodgeball* Joanie loves Chaci!

White: Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY.
Patches: Always remember the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!

Cotton McKnight: And the Average Joe's beat the Purple Cobras in a shocking upset.
Pepper Brooks: I feel shocked.

Cotton: It looks as if the Average Joe's do not have enough players to compete, they will have to forfeit this game.
Pepper: This is a risky strategy Cotton, lets see if it pays off.

Cotton: In my 23 years of broadcasting I have never seen anything like this. It seems as if Peter La Fleur has blindfolded himself!
Pepper: This will make it hard for him to see, Cotton.

Dwight: And we're also missing Steve the Pirate!
Owen: Who's Steve the Pirate?

White: Here at Globo Gym we're better than you, and we know it.

Kate: That's an... interesting painting you have there.
White: Thanks. It's a metaphor. That's me taking the bull by the horns.
Kate: Yeah, I got that.
White: That really happened though.

White: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you think that I thought I once was.