Dante: *hears his phone ringing* What's that ringing? Do I have a tumor?

Alex: Don't Lions eat Deer?
Dante: Whoa, you're right. Dr. Shakalu we need to be careful with that shit.

J.P.: All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter even though I own one, but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk. I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it.

Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob.
Jeff: Wow, was he silent?
Grace: Not after I got thru with him.

Dante: Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it taekwondo.
Barry: Yeah, karate monkey, yeah, that's probably safer.

Alex: Hey, uh, Sophie didn't die on the bed, did she?
Grandma Lilly: No.
Alex: Good.
Grandma Lilly: She fell out and died right here.

Alex: Don't judge me, monkey.

Dante: I feel like Tom Cruise in cocktail.