Dean: Like the song says. The best is yet to come, the honeymoon.

Angela/Max: Dean, thank you for respecting my religious beliefs. I'm really ready now.

Angela/Max: Oh my god!
Dean: That's how much I love you baby.
Angela/Max: You must love me, a lot.

Dean: I do have some frost bite in some really weird places.

Dean: A man's wedding night is his own private, sacred business. It's not to entertain low life scum like you'se guys.
Leo: Angie's got to be an animal. He's even walking funny.

Wendy/Page: Is it hard?
Dean: What?
Wendy/Page: Getting married?

Angela/Max: 17 hours, we've been married 17 hours.
Dean: The happiest 17 hours of my life.
Angela/Max: You just lost the best thing you've ever had.

Dean's attorney: $300,000 for one day?
Ms. Surpin: One horrible taurmatic day in which my client suffered irrepable psychological damage to her self-esteem. Oh and she keeps the mercedes.

Max: I can't believe you wore the grey dress. I distinctly said the blue.
Page: It worked, didn't it?

Page: How was the wedding?
Max: Beautiful. Like all my weddings.

Page: Mom, remember our deal. Ok there is no next one. This is it. I'm going solo.

Worker: You know this is like the eighth frame we've gone through this week. Maybe it's time to retire this picture.
Dean: Why the hell can't I stop thinking about her?
Worker: Was it the legs? She had amazing legs.
Dean: *takes away the picture* Give me that.
Worker: Or maybe it was that she dumped you because that's never happened before.
Dean: Yeah. Yeah. Who the hell does she think she is? She thinks she can do this to me and just walk out? Well, she's wrong! I'm going to find her.
Worker: And then?
Dean: Then I'm going to take care of it.

Max: Dean was kind of cute.
Page: You're in serious denial.
Max: Cute is dangerous. Cute leads to feeling, which leads to screwing, which leads to screw.

Max: Page, I've told you before. No simutanious cons. Too many angles. They always go bad.

Page: I can make men do anything.
Max: Boys. You can make boys do anything.

Page: I'm not feeling your butt again, mother. We all know it's wonderful.

Page about Tensy: Oh yeah, his liver spot's are positively glowing.

Page: Wow, I've never heard that one before. You've really blown me away with your creativeity.
Jack: Well...I...
Page: Well I ah, you're recovery is even better. Do you even care at all who I am, I mean I could be the antichrist or have the intelligence of a thermose, but unfortunately those are not the matters male penis ponders. So please tell me why did you walk all the way over here to ask to get me a drink?
Jack: Well, because I'm the bartender.

Bill: Wow, Jack she got a drink and one of your balls.
Jack: I think she's just nervous about being on her own.
Friend: Oh yeah, she's a delicate flower.

Ulga/Max: Oh wait I think I see crack.
Statue mover: That's just his butt lady.

Davis' mom: I told you it was dangerous to come to these low class bars.

Jack: Everyone's a little irritable after their first choke.

Page: That was wrong on so many levels.

Jack: Look my car doesn't drive so good with a tree in it.

Jack: Look I'm willing to explore the whole being dominated thing ok, but let's just take it slow.

Page: I'm hurt.
Jack: No you're not. Nothing can hurt you.

Jack: Are you mixing medications?
Page: You're ruining the moment, idiot.

Page: What the hell are you doing? Get off me.
Jack: What?! You were the one...
Page: I got to go.

Page: I want my purse, jerk off.
Jack: That's not very friendly. Now I want you to go back out and this time when you kick the door open I want you to say something nice.

Page: ...or would you rather have my heel up your ass?
Jack: Who told you I'm into that?

Tensy: I love a woman who eats raw meat.

Page: There's no law you can't look good while saving stuff.

Page: What do you do? Spy on people humping in boats? That's so perverted.
Jack: I photograph stars.
Page: Look just because they're famous doesn't mean they deserve their privacy too. So who do you got?
Jack: The stars up there.
Page: You sneak all the way out here to look at space and shit?
Jack: No, I come here to get away from the lights and city, so I can see the space and shit.
Page: Why?

Tensy: I love to watch a woman eat. It's surely one of their most sensual acts.

Jack: Will I see you again?
Page: Try wishng on a star.

Tensy: Smoking is te part of fun about being a kid. Yeah we just did a few tests on some nine-year-olds. After a little puking we couldn't drag them away from the stuff.

Tensy: There is nothing sexier than smoke billowing proudly out of a woman's... hot red... engorged nostrils.
Ulga/Max: That image will haunt me.

Page to Jack: You don't do anything like normal people do?

Tensy: My cigarettes. I feel like vomiting!

Bill: Something weird about her.
Jack: Yeah, but that's what I liked.
Friend: Me, too.

Page: Jack there is no love. It's just a trick of the brain, a combination of hormones and chemicals.

Jack: I know I freaked you out by moving to fast with all that I love you stuff. So let's just get married.

Dean: Angela I changed. I totally changed. Look, look, look this place is crawling with prime trim. I'm barely even noticing.

Dean: You two played me.

Dean: Do you know how much theropy you people need?

Dean: College professor.
Jack's mom: Oh what do you teach?
Dean: College stuff. What are you a fucking cop?

Page: I'm not worried.
Dean: Is that why you're melting down the remote.

Dean: Love is pain.

Page: You're the only person in this world that I half trust.

Max: Because if one day you happen to notice some gorgeous girl giving you "let's screw around" look, just remember she may be working for me.
Dean: All right fine, but you no more conning. No more. If you're going to be my wife you've gotta live a respectible life...chopping cars.