Samantha: If you check out my ass when I walk away, your shack will be in your lap.

Kelley: Hey! I wanna know one thing before I go.
Jaspar: and what's that?
Kelley: What freaks you out more? Getting bailed out by your girlfriend or knowing that she was adding me to her fantasy file? haha.
Friend: What did he just say?
Jaspar: I think he just said come kick my ass.

Lawyer: I understand you're from New York your honor.
Judge Maddick: Born and bread.
Lawyer: Me, too. Upper East Side.
Judge Maddick: Good for you. We're not bonding here so don't get your dress over your head.