Hitch: May you never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in each other's arms. If you must steal, steal a kiss. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with your friends.

*preview*
Boyfriend: I just asked if it was Diet!
Hitch: Excuse me, by asking if it was Diet she took it as you trying to imply that she was fat. Go and get a red rose, get a regular coke and tell her that she is everything you never knew you always wanted.

Hitch: You got to know where to put your hand on her back. If you put it to high that's saying you just want to be friends. If you put it to low that's saying you just want to grab some ass.
Albert: Got it. Friends, ass.

Hitch: Basic principles, there are none.