Andie: You only dated the guy a week.
Michelle: It was the best week of my life.

Michelle: Mike and I had such a connection. The first time that we had sex... it was so beautiful. I cried.
Jeannie: You cried?
Michelle: Yeah.
Andie: You mean one glistening tear on your cheek, right?
Michelle: No, I was really emotional. I even told him that I loved him.
Andie: After how many dates?
Michelle: Five. *pause* Two.

Michelle: I know why he dumped me. I'm too fat.
Andie and Jeannie: You're not fat.

Andie: Tonight I'll hook a guy. Tomorrow pull the switch. Before the ten days are up, I'm going to be having this guy running for his life.
Jeannie: You're not going to burn his apartment down or bite him are you?
Andie: No! I'm going to limit myself to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships. Basically, everything we know guys hate. I'll be clingy, needy...
Jeannie: Be touchy feely.
Andie: Yeah.
Jeannie: Ooh, call him in the middle of the night, and tell him everything you had to eat that day.
Michelle: What's wrong with that? *pause* I'm kidding.

Spears: A woman in lust wants chocolate. A woman in love wants diamonds.

Spears: Make a woman fall in love with diamonds, Benjamin, or with you?
Ben: Either one.
Mr. Warren: That's cocky, Ben.
Ben: Not cocky, confident.

Andie: Andie Anderson.
Ben: Benjamin Barry.
Andie: Cute.
Ben: Thank you.
Andie: I meant your name.
Ben: Thank you two times.
Andie: Unattached?
Ben: Currently.
Andie: Likewise.
Ben: Surprising.
Andie: Psycho?
Ben: Rarely. Interested?
Andie: Perhaps.
Ben: Hungry?
Andie: Starving.
Ben: Leaving.
Andie: Now?

Michelle: And if he is?
Andie: Tomorrow night I'll...
Jeannie: Flip the switch.

Andie: Saving the world one keg party at a time?
Ben: Yeah something like that.

Ben: Saving the world one shopoholic at a time, huh?

Andie: True or false. All is fair in love and war?
Ben: True.
Andie: Great answer.

Andie: I want you to respect me.
Ben: I do and I want your respect.
Andie: I respect you for respecting me.

Ben: Oh you are already falling in love with me.
Andie: I'm going to make you wish you were dead. Poor guy.

Andie: Benny boo-boo, boo-boo-boo.

Michelle: Are you dating him or contemplating adoption?

Andie: My boyfriend thinks I'm fat.

Ben: How 'bout Glitter?
Tony: Thayer's favorite movie.
Thayer: It was underrated.

Ben: Let's take a break because the girl is driving me crazy.
Tony: Which one, Andie or Princess Sophia?

Andie: *pulling up the kitchen shade* Peek a boo.

Andie: Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles.

Andie: You let it die! You're going to let us die? You should think about that.

Andie: Are you saying I'm some kind of...MENTAL PERSON. *the snacks fly into the air*

Ben: You're like a freaking one woman circus, Andie.

Andie: I sweat when I get nervous.

Ben: Frost yourself.

Ben: Bullshit.