Julius: If you're so smart, tell me something, how come you go to M.I.T. for 8 years to become a cable repairman?

Steve: I'm just a little anxious to get up there and whup E.T.'s ass.

Capt. Jimmy Wilder: Let's kick the tires and light the fires, big daddy!

Julius: All you need is love, John Lennon, smart man, shot in the back very sad.

Steve: Welcome to Earth!

Steve: This was supposed to be my weekend off, but no. You got me out here dragging your heavy ass through the desert, with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute. You got to come down here with an attitude, acting all big and bad. And, what the Hell is that smell?!

President Whitmore: I don't understand, where does all this come from? How do you get funding for something like this?
Julius: You don't actually think they spend $20,000.00 on a hammer, $30,000.00 on a toilet seat do you?

President Whitmore: I saw... his thoughts. I saw what they're planning to do. They're like locusts. They travel from planet to planet, their whole civilization. After they've consumed every natural rescource they move on. And we're next. Nuke 'em. Nuke the bastards.

David: You really think you can fly that thing?
Steve: You really think you can do all that bullshit you just said?

President Whitmore: In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And, you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind," that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps, it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom--not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live--to exist. And, should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish, without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!

Steve: What do you say we try that again?
David: Yes, yes, yes, without the oops.

Steve: Make sure your seat backs and tray-tables are is their upright and locked position.
David: Are they?

Russell: In the language of my generation up yours!

Steve: I ain't heard no fat lady!
David: Forget the fat lady. You're obsessed with the fat lady.