Mr. Scrimsaw: Putter don't be a putt.

Jack: I need some aspirin.
Mr. Wormwood: What?
Jack: PLEASE! I'm begging you for some aspirin!!!

Tuck: Look pal, we have to talk!
Jack: No we don't.
Man: Don't what?
Jack: Don't have to talk.
Tuck: Yes we do!
Jack: We do?
Woman: Do what?
Jack: Have to talk!
Woman: Not unless you want to.

Jack: Would I be in a doctor's office if I was feeling all right?

Jack: Oh God! Somebody help me! I'm possesed!!

Jack: Jack Putter to the rescue.

Tuck: Gentleman, I salute you. (falls) Shit I spilled my drink.