Terry: I'm so confused.
Buddy: Of course you're confused. You're wearing my underwear.

Kid: Mr. Raymaker, Mr. Vino, the drivers ed teacher, just ran over a dog. Should I take a photographer?

Buddy: What a waste of a sport's car.

Buddy: Hey who do you think you are? Tootsie?

Terry: Yeah well maybe my balls don't itch.
Buddy: All balls itch, it's a fact.

Greg: No pain, no gain.

Terry: Strong as an ox, and almost as smart.

Greg: That asshole called me an asshole?
Debra: So you want to beat him up too?
Greg: No, I want to buy him an ice cream.

Buddy: Mr. Wonderful is Mr. History? All right.

Buddy: It's that darn cult again. It's got her brainwashed. Want to split her records?

Terry: Aren't you a little embarrassed?
Buddy: Nope. I'm horny. Horny will kick embarrassment's ass everytime.

Terry: Your room is why I'm totally screwed up.

Buddy: These women have my deepest respect.
Terry: For showing their boobs?
Buddy: And fir their minds. It just so happens that Kim here reads Vonnegut in her bubble bath. And Luann has dedicated her centerfold to help clean-up toxic waste. And the only reason Barbara does her physics homework buck naked is 'cause that library is hot.

Buddy before opening the door: What are the odds it's a nymphomanic?

Willy: The earth woman seem so tense. Irritable? To much coffee.
Phil: Not enough sex.

Terry: I was in the boys locker room.
Denise: You were?
Terry: Yes!
Denise: and they were!?
Terry: Yes!
Denise: Can I be your younger brother?

Debra: He knew how to fix my earring.
Greg: That's because he's a little tulip.

Terry: Budster, the refridgerator gives new meaning of the word empty.

Buddy: All you transfestits are alike. You disgust me.

Terry: Budster, there's a half-naked woman in your bedroom feeding pizza to some fish and she's all yours.
Buddy: Sounds to kinky for me.
Terry: Buddy, she needs you; I need you; you need her.
Buddy: Is she really half-naked?
Terry: Maybe more by now.
Buddy: What if you're lying?
Terry: What if I'm not?
Buddy: Good point. If I'm not back in a week, forward my mail.

Buddy: Today's woman has the freedom to be just as sick and preverted as us guys.