George: ...I got women to do, places to see...

Brad: Help me George. Help me.

Cane: Kid you don't know shit about shit.

George: You sure have to make some serious choices in you life, don't you?

Captain: Sure and I just heard terds can fly.

George: I always wanted a gun.

George: Killer in the phone book, I never thought of that.

George: You get laid much Ted?
Ted: What do you mean?

Ted: Shit, sign in, in the car.
George: Am I going to be tested on this later?
Ted: Maybe.

Owner: You're shit, your brother was good, but your shit.

Kuffs: Hey, asshole! Yes, you. Look, if you're gonna jump, jump. Otherwise, use the bridge like everyone else. You're screwin' up traffic down there.

Kuffs: Women. If it weren't for them, there'd be no civilization.

Kuffs: Why are we doing so much running? Aren't we all going to be in cars?

Kuffs: I'm looking for a really big gun which holds a lot of bullets.
Gun Salesman: God bless you, young man.
Kuffs: I always wanted a gun...
Gun Salesman: Is this what you had in mind? It's a 9mm Beretta. 15 in the clip, 1 in the pipe.
Kuffs: Got one that holds more?
Gun Salesman: No.
Kuffs: I'll take two.

Ted: Now, if I'm gonna be killed on the job, it's gonna be by a fucking bullet, not a fucking bus. Now turn this fucking car around and let's get back on your fucking patrol.
Kuffs: You may have a limited vocabulary, Ted.
Ted: Fuck you!