Jumba: His destructive programming is taking effect. He'll be irresistibly drawn to large cities where he'll back up plumbing, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe.

Lilo: "Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." Lilo: Can't you ever build anything? *Stitch builds a cityscape out of books and toys* Wow - San Francisco. *Stitch destroys the city just like Godzilla* No more caffeine for you.

Hula Teacher: Lilo, why are you all wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day! Every Thursday I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich.
Hula Teacher: Pudge is a fish?
Lilo: And today we were out of peanut butter. I asked my sister what to give him, and she said, "A tuna sandwich." I can't give Pudge tuna! Do you know what tuna IS?
Hula Teacher: Fish?
Lilo: IT'S FISH! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late because I had to go to the store and get peanut butter 'cause all we have is...is...STINKIN' TUNA!!
Hula Teacher: Lilo, Lilo, why is this so important?
Lilo: Pudge controls the weather.

Nani: I shouldn't have yelled at you...
Lilo: We're sisters.... It's our job.

Rescue Lady: Oh yes, mmhmm, all of our dogs are adoptable. *Lilo walks in with Stitch* Except that one!
Nani: What is that thing?!
Rescue Lady: A dog, I think.. But it was dead this morning.
Nani: It was dead this morning?!
Rescue Lady: Well we thought it was dead, it was hit by a truck!

Lilo: David! I got a new dog!
David: Auwe... You sure it's a dog?
Lilo: Uh huh.. He used to be a collie before he got ran over.

Lilo: Did you lose your job because of Stitch and me?
Nani: Nah.. The manager's a vampire and he wanted me to join his legion of the undead.

Lilo: Don't worry she likes your butt and fancy hair, I read her diary. Lilo: Hello Mr. Bubbles, aliens are attacking my house. Captain Gantu: Place that idiot scientist under arrest! Jumba: I prefer to be called Evil Genius!