Olive: Why were you unhappy?
Frank: I fell in love with someone... *interrupted by Grandpa blowing his nose* who didn't love me back.
Olive: Who?
Frank: One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.
Olive: Him? You fell in love with a boy?
Frank: Very much so.
Olive: That's silly.

Olive: Grandpa, do you think I'm pretty?
Grandpa: Olive, you are the most beautiful girl in the whole world!
Olive: Nah you're just saying that...
Grandpa: No I'm not kidding. I'm madly in love with you, and it's not because of your brains or your personality.

Richard: *getting pulled over* Everybody just pretend to be normal, okay?

Olive: I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who taught me all of my moves.
Pagent Judge: Aw that's sweet, honey. Where's your grandpa?
Olive: In the trunk of our car.

Dwayne: You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.

Olive: Do you eat ice cream?
Miss California: Yes. My favorite is Cherry Chocolate Garcia... except technically I think it's a frozen yogurt.